Beautifully Destroyed(45)

“Oh my God.” Looking at him, I can’t believe it. Bringing my fingers to his chest, I trace along the lines, and he shivers under my touch. “Cameron.” Gently, he places his hand over mine.

“No Judgment, Only Fate.” He reads the words that are tattooed on him but the addition of ‘Only Fate’ brings tears streaming down my face. “I love you, Fate.” His hand opens and a gold heart pendant is hanging from it. I put my hand out to touch it and it turns, showing me the engraving.

“Choose,” I say, trying to stop the overwhelming feeling of his love that has come over me. I have to push back the negative feelings my body has but it’s getting easier each time. He makes it easy to be with him. To choose him, I won’t ever choose anyone else. In this moment I feel everything people tell you about, when they know they’ve found that someone special. The trust, the joy, it’s endless. “Cameron. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know what you’re feeling because I feel it too. Our life is just beginning, but now it’s finally written somewhere. Where it belongs, right over my heart,” he says, taking my hand in his and placing it over his heart. “Now you can carry my heart and our word with you too.” Some moments are those of a lifetime of emotions. This moment is one for me. “Because you have it, Fate. It’s yours.”





Chapter Twenty-Three





The last month has been a whirlwind. The holidays are done and getting back into school was a bit of a headache, but Cameron was in some of my classes and that made it easier. We have put a stop to everything when it comes to my hiding. It was hard, but I’ve started coming out of my shell and Cameron is the reason for that. He knows when to push and when to let it go. We only had one incident where things had a bump during that whole month. Someone from the media started looking around and I had to argue with him to let it go. There were lots of things going on, the band had a new bassist. The talk of a tour was now no longer just talk. It was happening. Trisha was trying to sway the media saying they were together and such. He never refuted it, but I didn’t need him too. I had him with me every night and I reminded him of that option.

Everything was returning to normal until we ran into Dex off campus. Luckily, I was able to distract Cameron. He was infuriated, but like he does for me, I was able to ground him. That control made me feel warm, as if it isn’t just me who is consumed by the sheer need of him. He feels that too. However, from that moment, he was different, distant for some reason and I felt disconnected to what had become my life support.

“What’s wrong, Cameron?”

He doesn’t say anything at first and I feel him drifting. Moments between us play in my head.

“Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I can only get in those walls if you let me.”

Trying to live up to the promise I have made to be more transparent, I do as he’s asked. “I feel something happened back there. I can’t break through your walls either, you know, you’re hiding. Like you are pulling away from me for some reason and that frightens me more than I’d care to admit,” I say truthfully. His whole demeanor changes and my old Cameron is back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you out of my head.” My hand goes to his chest and his hand finds my face. “I don’t like when you see me that way,” he says with such pain in his voice. “I worry that something might happen and you may be caught in the crossfire.”

“You would never hurt me, Cameron. I know that. I wouldn’t be where I am with you if I thought you could.” This man doesn’t trust himself very much and that hurts my heart. Those actions with his mom have tainted him just like my past has done to me. “You can’t save everyone,” I say, because I think this is more than just about what he is saying.

He looks torn, but worst, defeated. “But I will save you.”

“Cameron, I don’t need you to save me. I need you to be there for me. Help me, guide me, and care for me. It’s not your job to save me.” I don’t ever want him to feel as if I’m this girl who needs a hero even if it might be true. The guilt if something were to happen to us, or me, would eat at him.

“My job is to take care of you. Saving you included.” His words are firm. I know he doesn’t want to argue, so I try a different approach.

“Can’t we save each other then?” Looking into my eyes, I know he is hearing my plea. At some point, we need to do this together and I’m hoping he will now see that I’m as breakable as that girl he met on the first day.