Beautiful Mess(143)

Cole stood and walked away, running his hands through his hair. When he turned back to her, the defensive mask he’d been wearing was gone, and she could see his anguish.

“Why, Bri? Why would this time be any different?”

She stood and walked over to him. She half expected him to back away from her, but her heart sang when he didn’t pull away. She reached up and gently cupped his cheeks in her hands. His eyes closed briefly at her touch. When they opened, she could see everything he was feeling. There was so much turmoil and wariness, but also a desperate hope that stole her breath.

“Because, this time I know exactly what I want.” Bri had to squeeze her eyes shut to stop the tears that wanted to spill. She couldn’t cry now, there was still so much she needed to say. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she opened her eyes. Cole’s eyes bore into hers, begging her to put him out of his misery. She could see now how badly she’d let him down before, how afraid he was to trust her again. And how terrified he was of what she was about to say.

“I love you, Cole,” she smiled, and a tear slipped out. “I love you, and I’m not afraid to say it anymore. I’m not afraid of it anymore. I love you so fully and completely,” she half sobbed. “I love you more than I ever thought I could possibly love anybody. And you are all that I want.”

Cole’s eyes closed, and he let out a sigh. But he still protested.

“What about Stanford, Bri? It’s been your dream, your life, for so long. I don’t want you to wake up one day and blame me, hate me, for making you give up that up.”

“I haven’t given up my dream, Cole,” she persisted. “My dreams have just changed, that’s all. You have given me a new dream, and a hope for the future that I’ve never had before. You are my dream now. Please don’t tell me I’ve already lost it.” Another tear slipped out.

Instead of replying, Cole dropped his eyes, and removed her hands from his face. Bri’s heart plummeted, and her lungs stopped working. Despair threatened to consume her, as she realized that she’d failed. Cole didn’t want her back.

He stood there silently for a moment, before he finally spoke.

“Say it again,” he whispered, still not looking up at her.

“What?” she gulped, trying to keep her devastation at bay.

“Say it, again,” he repeated, lifting his head. Bri’s breath caught as a beautiful smile spread across Cole’s face. The love shining in his eyes broke the dam holding back her tears. She knew then exactly what he was asking.

“I love you,” she returned his smile. “I love you, Coleston Marra. I’ll love you forever.”

Cole’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed on his shoulder. “For everything. I’m a such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?”

He pulled back and stroked her cheek. She leaned into his hand longingly.

“Of course I forgive you,” he gave a small smile. “I love you, Ambria. I’d forgive you anything.”

“Really? You still love me?” Bri felt a warmth rush through her.

“Oh, baby,” he replied tenderly, “did you really think I stopped? I think I fell in love with you the first day I met you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I was scared, and stupid, and stubborn, too. Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she gazed up at him. “So, what happens now?”

Cole’s eyes darkened with desire. He gave her a look that set her heart pounding, and anticipation shooting through her. He leaned in slowly, but stopped just short of her lips.

“Whatever we want,” he whispered. And then he kissed her.

Warmth flooded through Bri, and the gaping hole in her heart, that had been present ever since she’d walked away from Cole, was finally filled. This was where she belonged, where she would always belong, in Cole’s arms, surrounded by his love. There were no more doubts, no more fears, just the blinding certainty that she was home. And she had no intention of ever leaving again. She was finally whole.

She kissed him back hungrily, giving him everything that was in her. She happily took everything he offered her in return, and greedily demanded more. She wanted all of him, every tiny piece, mind, body, and soul. She knew that he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had all of her, either, and she wanted to give it to him. She wanted him to have every last piece of her.

While their kisses were heated and passionate, this was something so much deeper than physical need and desire. This was an aligning of their souls, a binding together of their hearts. A chance to erase and heal all of the hurt and betrayal, the disappointment and regret. With each kiss, they renewed each other with their love.