Beautiful Mess(142)

He looked away. “I don’t know, Bri.”

“Please, Cole,” she pleaded. “Please, just give me a chance. Let me say what I need to say, and then I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.”

He took a deep breath, and turned back to her. His demeanor had hardened, like he’d already prepared himself for the worst.

“Fine,” he replied curtly. “You talk, I’ll listen, and then you leave.”

Bri’s face fell as she nodded. She hadn’t expected a big, warm welcome from Cole, but she was still hurt by his animosity.

He turned and led her towards his two story dorm building, silent the entire way. That silence became more pronounced and weighted as they left the noise of the party far behind. Trying to calm her racing heart, and get her emotions under control, Bri followed Cole upstairs and into his room. The room layout was similar to Bri’s, but seemed bigger with only two people living there. He flipped on the lights and sat down on the couch, completely indifferent and unaffected.

“Okay, so talk,” he bit out coldly. “Why are you here, Bri?”

Bri stopped her perusal of Cole’s room and turned to him. He returned her gaze warily, and she was suddenly painfully aware of how close she was to losing everything. She took a deep breath and gathered her courage.

“I live here,” she gave a small smile.

“What?” Cole’s eyes widened in shock. This news didn’t seem to please him.

“I go to school here. I applied earlier this year and was accepted. I’m even on the dance team.”

“I don’t understand,” he shook his head, glaring at her.

“I came here for you, Cole. I’m here because I believe in us, and I think we deserve another chance. I’m here to fight for us.” She poured all her sincerity and conviction into those words, willing him to believe her.

“So, this is what?” his voice rose incredulously. “Some grand master plan for you to infiltrate my life? And when exactly did you decide on this course of action?”

“Right before graduation,” she replied quietly, her eyes dropping.

“So you actually planned this?” his voice shook with anger. “And you didn’t think to ever mention it to me?”

“And when would I have been able to do that, Cole?” Bri’s temper flared. Crap, this was going badly. Here she was, making a mess of things, again. She took a breath and reigned in her temper. She wasn’t angry at Cole, and she hadn’t come here to yell at him. “We haven’t talked in months. And even if I had told you what I was planning, what would you have said? You would’ve told me to forget it, that it wouldn’t change anything. You would’ve told me you’d moved on,” her voice broke, “and that I should too.” She paused and looked Cole in the eye, gathering all her courage. “But that’s not something I’m willing to do. Not now, not anymore. No matter how difficult, or overwhelming things get for us, I’m not going anywhere. Never again. I’m done running.”

Cole dropped his gaze and shook his head.

“Go back to Stanford, Bri,” he said tersely. “It’s where you belong. You have dreams and plans for your life. I don’t fit into any of them. This isn’t what you want.”

She sat hesitantly on the couch next to him.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said softly. Cole’s eyes shot up to hers, full of pain, confusion, and fear. Bri’s heart clenched, and she hated herself for hurting him so badly. But, she also realized that if she ever expected Cole to forgive her, she had to forgive herself. Looking deep into his eyes, she promised him, and herself, that she would amend all the pain she had caused him.

“When I think of the future, all I see is you. All my plans, all my dreams, they all revolve around you. You are the center of everything. You are essential to my happiness, and I can’t imagine a future without you.” Tears threatened in her eyes, and she paused. “You were right about me, you know. You were right about everything. I was so afraid of letting you in, so scared of being hurt, that I convinced myself I didn’t really feel what I was actually feeling. I’m so sorry, Cole! I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I was so stupid, and stubborn. And most of all, I’m so sorry for ever hurting you! I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, and just let everything that happened go. All I’m asking for is another chance. A chance to make this up to you, to make things right between us. Please. Please, Cole, tell me there’s a chance for us,” she pleaded with everything she had in her.