Beautiful Mess(134)

She couldn’t figure it out. Breaking up with Cole had been the right thing to do. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him anymore, and the longer she had waited, the stronger his feelings would have gotten, and the more painful it would have been for him when they finally said goodbye. Bri had expected the breakup to hurt for a little while, but she’d fully expected that after a couple weeks she’d be back to good and moving on. After all, her feelings for Cole were superficial, mostly just a physical attraction. She didn’t feel anything deeper for Cole... did she?

Her confusion and misery were only compounded by guilt. She had been watching Cole at school, and he was not doing well. He walked around with a blank, glassy look in his eyes, and his spark and charm had disappeared. He was just going through the motions, keeping everyone and everything at a distance. He looked as lost and miserable as Bri felt, and knowing that she was the cause of this, broke her heart all over again. She was a mess, Cole was a mess, and Bri didn’t know how to fix either of them.

The weekend before graduation was the Senior Dinner Dance. It wasn’t a bring-a-date kind of dance, just a chance for the senior class to celebrate together one last time before graduating and going their separate ways. Layla, refusing to take no for an answer, was finally able to wrangle Bri into going.

“This isn’t about you and Cole,” she’d insisted. “This is about you and me, and the fact that we’re going to different schools in different states, and we don’t know what will happen or when we’ll see each other again. So, please! Come spend one last night dancing and laughing with your friends.”

The pleading, insistent look in Layla’s eyes had been too much to refuse, and Bri had agreed.

“Good! But we want you there, Bri. Not this mopey, depressed, shell of a person you’ve been the last few weeks. We want you to come and be happy, at least for the night.”

Bri couldn’t guarantee that, but she promised she’d try.

So, with a bit of trepidation, Bri pulled up to the hotel where the dance was being held, and parked her car. She walked into the ballroom, and it wasn’t the sparkling chandeliers, or the beautiful decorations that caught her eye. It was Cole. Of course he was the first thing she saw. He was sitting at a table with Serena and their friends. He looked so sad and lost, like he didn’t know where he belonged anymore.

Cole’s eyes lifted and found hers, and Bri’s heart clenched. His eyes sparked to life for a moment as he saw her, but quickly returned to the dull, empty look they’d had for weeks. Bri felt tears spring to her eyes, and she quickly averted her gaze.

Forcing herself to breath, she quickly found Layla and her friends at a table across the room. She did her best to force down all the sadness, guilt, and heartache she was feeling. She wanted to enjoy this night with her friends, and she didn’t want her misery ruining their night.

She slipped into her seat with a smile plastered on her face. If anyone noticed how forced it was, they didn’t say anything. Instead the girls all welcomed her with hugs and compliments on her dress. Bri did her best to stay engaged in the conversations around her. She did her best to laugh and joke like nothing at all was wrong. She tried to act like the old, carefree Bri.

But, as she picked at her dinner and sat through the retrospective slideshow the student council had put together, her eyes kept roaming back to Cole. She missed him so much. Just the sight of him caused her heart to ache, and a fierce longing filled her. The impulse to run over and throw herself into his arms was almost overpowering. She was shocked at herself for feeling this way. She should be over him by now. But, she was slowly beginning to realize that maybe her feeling for Cole had run deeper than she’d thought.

As if sensing her thoughts, Cole looked up and met her eyes. Bri’s heart started pounding, and she couldn’t hide the pain and longing on her face. They stared across the room at each other, and Bri’s breath caught as she watched Cole’s eyes soften, his desperation matching her own, and something like hope started growing in her chest. But then he shook his head sadly and turned his eyes, the moment between them broken. A debilitating despair crashed over her, so potent she didn’t think she’d ever break free of it.

The DJ’s voice over the microphone snapped Bri’s attention back to the room, and she turned a false smile to Layla, who was dragging her out to the dance floor. Bri tried to forget about everything that was wrong with her and just enjoy herself, but she couldn’t shake the despondency that had settled over her.

Sometime later, the DJ switched to a slow song. Bri stepped back as all her friends fell into the arms of their boyfriends, leaving her feeling conspicuously alone. She turned to go back to her table, when a hand touched her arm lightly.