Beautiful Mess(129)

“It’s on the house. Do you know what Cole would do to me if he found out I let his girl pay for an oil change? Trust me, it wouldn’t be pretty!” he laughed.

Bri smiled and sat down to wait for her car, but her mind wouldn’t stop spinning. How had she allowed this to happen? She should’ve seen this coming and distanced herself from Cole before his feelings for her grew too deep. But somehow she’d missed it. And now she was going to break his heart and she didn’t see any way to stop it.

As she drove her no longer ticking Mazda home, Bri came to a decision. The only way to possibly spare Cole’s heart was to put some distance between them. She need to pull back before his feelings got any stronger, and maybe if they weren’t spending so much time together his feelings would fade. It wasn’t something she wanted to do, but it was what she needed to do. There were only seven weeks left until graduation. Bri needed to start preparing herself, and Cole, for their ultimate end and separation.

So, feeling incredibly sad but determined, that is what Bri did. She drew back from Cole. She was distant with him at school, and avoided him when she could. And she used the excuse of too much homework to avoid him after school. At least that wasn’t a total lie. Her AP tests were in a week, and all her teachers were trying to cram in as much last minute information as possible.

Cole was confused, and a little frustrated by Bri’s sudden change of behavior. It hurt her to know that she was upsetting him. But, it was better that she let him down gradually, and that he pull away from her, than to outright break his heart when she couldn’t return his feelings. So, even though it pained her that Cole was growing more and more distant with her, Bri was glad that her plan seemed to be working. It was just a lot harder than she thought it was going to be to let Cole go.

And so, the last week of April arrived, and with it Bri’s AP tests. She had her Biology test on Monday, her Calculus test on Wednesday, and her English test on Thursday. The week passed in a blur of facts, formulas, and examples that Bri hoped she had kept straight. She was fairly certain she’d done well enough to pass her Bio and Calc tests, but she really hoped she had done well on her English test. It was her future major after all.

As she made her way to her locker after school on Thursday, she wasn’t surprised to find Cole waiting for her. He had continued to walk her to class, eat lunch with her, and meet her after school, even though they didn’t say much when they were together. Her stomach twisted in pain and guilt, but she reminded herself that it was better that he hate her, than she destroy him.

“Hey,” she greeted him dully, not looking at him as she opened her locker.

“Would it be okay if I walked you to your car? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Fear clenched Bri’s heart at his formal, detached tone, and her eyes darted up to his. Was this it? Had she finally pushed him too far away, and he was ready to break up with her? Cole’s grim, determined face threatened to break her resolve, but she managed to hold herself together. She nodded and they walked silently out to her car.

She unlocked the doors and climbed in. Cole sat in the passenger seat and took a deep breath before he turned to face her. The sadness and pain in eyes stole Bri’s breath.

“Look Bri, I know you’ve been busy and stressed with all of your AP tests and everything lately. I just wanted you to know that it’s okay, I understand. This was a big deal for you, an important part of your future that you didn’t want to screw up. But, I’ve missed you, Bri.” He reached out and brushed his fingers up her cheek and into her hair.

Bri’s eyes closed involuntarily, and she leaned into his hand. She had forgotten how good his touch felt. Well, not forgotten. It was more like she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it, afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep herself away from him. And she had been right. One touch and her determination and resolve were gone. She wanted nothing more than to climb over into Cole’s lap and let him hold her.

Cole leaned closer, and Bri’s heart began pounding.

“I just wanted to make sure you were still coming to my art show tomorrow night?” He looked at her, pleadingly. His dark hair had fallen into his eyes. Bri’s hand reached up on its own and brushed it off his forehead.

“Of course I’m coming tomorrow.” She gave him a small smile, unable to resist, her plan to let him go completely forgotten.

A beautiful smile spread across his face, and it nearly stopped her heart. In that moment she never wanted to do anything to cause that smile to fade.

As Bri smiled back at him, Cole’s eyes sparkled and he leaned into her. His lips touched hers softly, hesitantly, and suddenly Bri felt right again, whole again. She hadn’t realized how wrong she’d felt the past couple of weeks. But as she gently kissed Cole back, she felt just how wrong things were between them.