Beautiful Burn(51)

"Can you come over?"

Auburn was at my door less than two hours later. She held me and we cried on my couch while I stroked her back and explained the details, including the timeline of treatment and prognosis, and I finally confessed that I'd been through this once before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her eyelashes were heavy with her tears.

"I didn't know what the outcome would be, Auburn. I still don't. I can't promise you forever," I said, quietly.

"Reed." She breathed as fresh tears flooded her eyes. She cupped my rough-shaven cheeks in her palms. "I don't care about forever. Forever is relative. I'm staying with you because I love you." She placed a soft kiss on my dry lips and my heart tightened.

"You can't stay," I murmured, the words tearing me to pieces as I said them.

"Too bad. You're stuck with me." She smiled as she wiped at fresh tears.

"I won't let you. Cancer is dirty. Chemo destroys you. I have to take supplements because I can't keep anything down most days! I don't want you to see that. I won't let you." I pulled away and stood to pace. I quickly thought better when my muscles protested, causing the room to swim. I walked to the french doors and placed a hand against the cool pane of glass for support.

"You should go," I rumbled, angry all over again that the cancer was taking everything I loved. My vision swirled and darkened as I gazed out at blinding sunlight.

"Reed!" was the last thing I heard before my body crumbled and everything went black.





twenty-nine


Auburn stayed through the remainder of my chemotherapy. She went to every appointment I had, held me when the shakes rendered my body nearly useless, and soothed me when I found myself sick and panting on the bathroom floor at three in the morning, even if it meant skipping class to do so. We fought about it, but when I saw the love and concern in her eyes, I knew to give up the fight. She'd taken care of her grandma all summer, she was a nurturer at heart. And so I let her nurture.

April passed and for my twenty-ninth birthday we shaved my head and planted ourselves in front of the television to watch a double-header and binge on the carrot cake she'd made for me. I'd only managed a small sliver before my stomach had twisted in protest, but still, it was my favorite birthday of all of them.

May came and Auburn officially moved in with me. She finally confessed that her story had been about us, and while she still wouldn’t let me read it in full, I knew where she was headed, and I encouraged her to continue. We worked on sections together, and we had fun. I begged her to publish, but she shrugged me off every time, saying the story had become too personal. I told her every day that I hoped she'd change her mind.

Mel showed up on our doorstep the last few weeks of my treatment, on the day our divorce was made final. She'd taken one look at my bald head and burst into tears, apologizing that she hadn't come to see me sooner, and sputtering nonsense like, “I just couldn't bear to see you like that, it's too heartbreaking.” Auburn and I had laughed and rolled our eyes when she left, thankful to put Mel and her relentless negativity behind us.

As May slipped into June we celebrated the final round of treatment. My hair began to grow back and my energy returned. I felt well. I felt alive. Auburn stayed with me at my apartment, and between checking on her grandma often, working at a small boutique downtown, and writing, we stayed busy. We stayed happy. And we began to talk about our future.

On the Fourth of July I asked her meet me at the water. When she arrived, her eyes took in the freshly-cut clearing at the top of the hill overlooking the bay with a quizzical head tilt.

"I'm building us a house." I grinned and pulled the rolled up house plans from my back pocket. Her mouth fell in shock before she rushed to me.

"Are you crazy?!" She planted her hands on my cheeks and kissed me.

"Crazy for you," I murmured between soft strokes of my tongue. I nipped at her lips as my hands trailed up her body, desperate to really feel her again after the exhaustion of the last sixteen weeks. I knelt and pulled her along with me, my hands planted on either side of her head as I kissed her. I didn't care if my muscles were weak and my bones tired, I didn't care if I'd lost thirty pounds and the sun ate at my skin like a thousand tiny pinpricks despite the fact that I'd slathered myself in sunscreen and worn a long-sleeved shirt.

"Reed?" She questioned when I rocked my erection between her legs.

"I need you," I hummed and nipped my way down her neck.

"Are you ready?" she asked as her hands skimmed across my scalp.

"I've been ready for seven months." I grunted and slid a hand between us, running it up the seam of her shorts. She pulled back, caught my eyes with hers, searching, finding what I wasn’t sure, before she kissed me again ad slid out from beneath me. "Lay back," she purred, peeling her top over her head to reveal her full breasts, concealed by wisps of red lace. My dick pounded as her nipples hardened and pressed through the transparent design, chilled by the soft breeze.