Beard Up(8)

"I'm sorry," I apologized, scrounging up the courage to say what I had to say next. "But I'm not interested in you in a romantic way, and when I'm around you, it's the vibe I get. I don't want to lead you on or allow you to think that I'm searching for something like that from you."

His rumbling laughter was enough to cause me to breathe deeply, thankful that he wasn't mad.

"That's fine, honey," he said. "I wasn't looking for that from you anyway. When my Melody died, I didn't think I'd ever find someone who understood my pain. I just think it's nice to be around someone who doesn't look at me as if I am about to break every thirty seconds."

I knew exactly what he was talking about, unfortunately.

"That's good to know, Josh," I whispered. "As long as you're sure that you're not interested in that, then we're having sweet tea, hot dogs and macaroni and cheese."

I only wish that I'd known that by agreeing to that dinner, I was setting off a chain of events that would drag me so far into a black hole that I didn't think I'd ever see light again.





Chapter 4


I see all these moms who can do everything, and I think, ‘they should do stuff for me.'

- Mina's secret thoughts

Mina

I arrived home to my house to find Josh standing on my front porch.

Sienna was in the back seat, and I was wondering if it would be rude to turn around and leave while he was still watching.

I knew it was, but I'd had a long ass day at work, and I just wanted to come home, slip into a pair of yoga pants and eat a shit-ton of potato chips.

But, seeing the man on my front porch, I knew that wasn't going to be possible.

He'd probably ask for dinner, and most days, since I felt sorry for him, I would give in to him despite not wanting him there at all.

When I tried to say no to him, he'd get this pitiful look on his face that reminded me of a small child not getting the sucker he asked for and then pouting until he got it.

Most of the time I gave the man what he wanted, but today wasn't going to be one of those days.

I didn't feel well, I'd started my period a few hours into my shift, and I was wearing stained underwear that needed to be removed from my body hours ago. Unfortunately, as a nurse, you didn't get the option of going home in the middle of your shift to change because you got period blood all over your panties.

Hence the reason I was in such a bad mood.

Resigned that I was going to have to pull out the bitch card, I pulled into my garage, and quickly shut the door before Josh could round the house.

Then I shut the car off, ordered Sienna to her room to finish her homework and headed to the front door.

Josh was waiting for me the minute I got there.

"Hey, how are you?" Josh caught the screen door as I pushed it open, but I blocked his entrance with my body.


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"I'm not feeling well today, Josh," I informed him. "I'm going to need a rain check."

He frowned. "Time for me to cook then?"

I shook my head.

"No," I said. "Honestly, Sienna and I want some time to ourselves. We're going to eat on the couch and watch a movie."

His lips thinned.

"I'll see you tomorrow!"

I closed the door on his frowning face and felt my heart slamming in my chest at ninety to nothing.

"Mom, my homework was in my backpack, but I think I might've left it at the tutor's because I can't find it."

I closed my eyes.

"We'll run by there tomorrow before school, and we'll work on it in the car in the drop off line … "

"But I have a spelling test tomorrow, and that's in there with them, too."

I growled in annoyance.

"Fine," I sighed. "Let me go change my clothes, and we'll go."

So after changing clothes, I drove the twenty minutes across town to the tutoring center, then all the way back home.

Only, this time, when I got home, there was no Josh standing outside my door.

Most people would've thought that he'd gone to his own house. Hell, that's what I thought he'd done, too.

But ohhh, no. Of course, he wouldn't do that.

Instead, he'd gone into my house and started using my kitchen to make dinner.

"Josh, what are you doing in my house?" I snapped loudly.

Josh didn't even bother turning around.

"Cooking you dinner, darlin'," I could tell he was grinning. "What does it look like?"

My hands clenched and I stared at his back as he continued to move about my kitchen as if it were his.

"Josh, I'd like you to leave," I said. "Baby, head to your room and get your homework finished."