Beard Up(5)

"I looked into that," Loki said cryptically. "Apparently, it's the graveyard staff. They clean up the graves every so often so that stuff doesn't collect. Like dead flowers, for example."

I could see that. I would hate for the graveyard where my husband's remains lay, to be anything but perfect, I had to admit. The graveyard was one of the best in the city, and the grounds were absolutely stunning.

The first time I'd seen that graveyard had been the day I'd laid my husband to rest.

I'd picked it offhandedly, almost as if on autopilot, but the day I'd seen it in person-the day that we said goodbye-I'd been speechless.

And I knew that Tunnel would love it. He had a thing for nature, and the beauty of that place was nothing less than spectacular.

I remembered the funeral. Remembered that terrible day like it was just yesterday.





***


"You aren't expected to say a word here, Mina," came Cleo's rasped reply. "You could literally sit there and not say a word, and nobody would blame you."

I gave him a look that clearly said ‘not happening' and walked up to the podium.

My eyes caught on a large picture of Tunnel that I'd taken off of our wall at home. It was of him the day that he became a police officer. He was dressed to the nines in his Benton, Louisiana Police Department's finest. He was even wearing the hat that I rarely, if ever, got to see him in, and the smile on his face lit up the room. He was so handsome. So beautiful. 

Oh, God, I missed him.

I walked up to the podium, glancing over my shoulder at Sienna, who was being held by the president of the MC himself, and steeled myself.

I could do this. I would do this. It would be okay. I'd let every single person know what kind of man this world had lost.

The moment my clammy hands met the cool wooden podium, a sense of calm and peace overtook me.

Sienna's laughter had me glancing in her direction once more, and the words just started to pour out.

"He was such a good daddy. I remember the first time he met our girl, Sienna," I wiped my eyes that I hadn't realized were leaking as I remembered that day with such clarity that I couldn't stop the smile from lighting my face. "He held her up to his face, and breathed in her scent. And what did he say? She doesn't smell like a baby is supposed to."

I laughed, sniffling slightly.

"I had to tell him that she probably would once they managed to wipe the blood off of her," I smiled wistfully, momentarily forgetting why I was standing at this podium in the first place. "That was one of the best days of my life, second only to the day that I married him."

Sometimes, if I didn't think too hard, I could pretend that Tunnel was just at work or attending a party with The Dixie Wardens.

But it didn't take long for the horrifying memories to return.

"It was comical, really, watching us bring this little girl up." I bit my lip. "Neither one of us knew what we were doing, but Tunnel … " I shook my head. "He was a natural. If Sienna was crying just to hear herself cry, then Tunnel would scoop her up, curl her into his muscular chest, and walk around, talking to her like she was a wise-ass fifteen-year-old instead of a fussy fifteen-day-old."

Sienna's beautiful hair, so much like her father's, caught the light just right, and I saw the hints of red that Tunnel had, too. Had.

Jesus, she was the only thing I had left of him now.

"Through colic, teething, and her illnesses, she always, always wanted her daddy." My throat welled. "And now her daddy is gone."

I bit my lip.

"Tunnel was over the moon four times in his life. The first time, when we got married. The second time, when our daughter, Sienna was born. The third, when he joined the Benton PD. The final time was when he was patched in with the Dixie Wardens MC." I looked at each man in the Dixie Wardens MC-Benton Chapter, hoping they felt the emotion I was trying to convey.

They'd saved my husband. They'd brought him into the fold. They'd been there for him when he needed it the most.

"Tunnel loved the Dixie Wardens. He loved the police department. He loved his life." I paused. "It wasn't always that way. We had a tough couple of years, but he made me a promise when we found out I was expecting. And that was that he'd give our girl a life that we would be proud of. And he succeeded by leaps and bounds," I said as a lone tear fell down my cheek.

I couldn't speak anymore. Couldn't tell them that they were his best friends.

"Thank you all for coming," I said as I looked over the crowd. "He would've been so happy."





Chapter 3


How's adulting going? Well, I turned on the wrong burner and I've been cooking nothing for the last thirty minutes.

-Being an adult sucks


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