Bear the Burn(21)

She drew back, straightening her spine, as her delicate eyebrows arched. “No danger? Your neck, Dade. What happened to your neck?”

Dade bit back a curse as his mind revolted against the memories she scratched at. “One of the members of my Crew, Rory, was taken by a government agency that has been blackmailing me and my brothers into running missions for them. Tours and black ops shit. Stuff I’m not allowed to talk about. They put trackers in our necks, and we wore them for years thinking they were just monitoring our vitals, hormones, location, that kind of stuff. What we didn’t know is that the trackers were filled with acid and some agent that stopped the clotting of blood. It was a kill switch, and mine got pushed.”

“Dade,” she whispered. Her dove gray eyes were filled with horror when he dared to look at her.

“It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“Lie.” Quinn looked down at her legs wrapped in bandages from her knees to her upper thighs. “Look. Now we match.”

He shook his head to ward off the heartache in her words. “You should’ve never been involved in this. I knew you weren’t strong enough for my world, and I followed you to your house, anyway. I should’ve let you keep your normal life.”

“I knew it.” She leaned her head back on the tree trunk, looking utterly drained. “I knew you thought I was weak. Well, I’m not. I’m soft-hearted, but I’ve been through worse than this.”

He’d been in the middle of shifting his weight onto his other leg but froze. “What do you mean?”

Her smile was the saddest he’d ever seen. “I was married once.”

“But not anymore?” The thought of her with anyone else felt like a hand clenching his heart.

“Jay served our country, like you. Only he didn’t come back to me. I buried my new husband and mourned his life cut short beside his mother, and for years, I didn’t let anyone touch my heart because the danger of losing anyone else was too big. And I survived all of that, so you see, I’m much stronger than you’ve given me credit for.”

A surge of pride filled him as he shuffled closer and pulled her against his chest. She felt so good and warm in his arms. His heart was drumming against his sternum, and she could likely feel how affected he was against her cheek, but so what? She should see him. All of him. If she could share something so painful with him, she could have it all—if she wanted. His brave Quinn was strong, and he’d been a fool not to see it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair. “I’m sorry he didn’t come back to you.”

A soft sob left her lips, and she clutched onto his shirt and buried her face against his chest. “It’s why I asked if you were still on active duty. I swore I’d learned my lesson, and now I’m choosing you. Army, black ops, secret missions, scars all over you that say you’ve paid for this life in blood, and I’m picking you despite it all. It’s not your fault I’m here, Dade. I saw the video. Saw how raw your face looked as you were telling that paramedic I was yours. I know you were trying to help me. I’d planned on living a quiet life and clinging to my past with Jay, and you came and shook everything up. I’ll be stronger.”

“You are strong,” he said thickly, heart in his throat. “I won’t coddle you if you don’t want. I have these stupid instincts to take care of you, and I will if you’ll let me. But I swear I’ll try to let you find your own way through this mess. You’ll have to be patient with me, though. I haven’t done this before.”

“Done what?” she asked, sniffling and easing back. Her soft eyes were innocent as she asked him what this was between them.

“Felt this way about a woman. You’ve been married, and I can tell you loved Jay very much. You’re my first, though, and I have all of these feelings and instincts keeping me off balance. I want to do every single thing for you and make you comfortable, but I can tell that is going to bother you. I’ll figure it out, but it’ll be easiest if you just tell me when I’m being a dumbass.”

She snorted a laugh. “I’m not the best with cursing. Do you want me to use those actual words?”

“Yes,” he said, relieved she could joke at a time like this. “Just say, Dade Leland Keller, you, sir, are being a dumbass.”

“Leland?”

“It’s a family name. All the Keller brothers’ middle names are Leland.”

“Oh,” she mused. “Okay. Dade Leland Keller, you were a super dumbass the other day when you threw gravel on me while I was walking home with a flat tire.”