Barbarian's Prize(9)
Dear God. I have got to get away from here.
• • •
That night as I lie in my furs, I contemplate my escape route.
I need to get away for a while. The men are utterly smothering me with their attentions. What started out as thoughtful has turned into an endurance test. I can’t take it any longer. All day long, the men hovered. All day long, they drove me utterly crazy with their attentions until I was ready to scream. Or cry. One or the other. And no matter how many times I gently suggest that they turn their attentions elsewhere, it’s ignored. I don’t know if they want me as much as they just don’t want one of the other hunters to win me.
I feel like a carnival prize.
The urge to leave is strong, even though I know it’s a cowardly thing to do. It’s a bad time to leave, too. Kira’s got her new baby and needs help, my leathers need to soak for a few more days, and I just planted my crops. But I can’t take another day like today. I’ll go stark raving mad.
“Josie,” I whisper, and turn over in my furs, facing her side of the cave. It feels weirdly lonely with just the two of us in here. Once upon a time, there were a bunch of human girls piled together in the cave and it felt more like a slumber party than anything. Now it’s just us two and it feels sad. “Jo. Wake up.”
She snorts and rolls over in her bed. “Mmm, what is it?”
“I think…” I lick my dry lips. “I think I want to leave.”
Josie bolts upright in her bed. “No, Tiff, you can’t. Don’t leave me here by myself!”
“You’re not by yourself,” I say, sitting up. “There’s a whole cave full of people—“
“And one human reject!” In the sparse light given off by the fire’s coals, I can see the distressed look on her round face. “What happened that makes you want to leave? Why now?”
“You saw how they were acting today! The whole cave did.” I rub my forehead in frustration. “I can’t take much more of their attention, Josie. They’re driving me crazy.”
“So tell them all to go fuck themselves!”
My mouth feels glued shut. That’s the easiest answer, and yet…I feel like I can’t. Because if I do and one gets upset? I worry someone will try to ‘convince’ me with force. Just the other day Vaza joked that he needed to spirit me away until I resonated to him. He thought it was funny.
I thought it was terrifying.
“I can’t tell them that, Josie. It’ll just be better if I leave. They’ll get over me and focus their attention somewhere else.”
“And what will you do?” She sounds heartbroken.
“Set up camp in another cave somewhere, I guess. Hunt for myself and make my own clothes and everything. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ll be alone.” She sniffles. “And what are you going to do when they come after you? You know they will.”
I freeze, because someone coming after me never crossed my mind. The moment she says it, I know she’s right. I’m the most eligible female in their eyes. They won’t just let me leave. Someone will come after me.
And I’ll be all alone. The thought is abhorrent. I imagine Vaza and his laughing comment about getting me alone. I feel trapped all over again. “I don’t know what to do, Josie.”
“Let me fix it. Don’t leave, okay? Give me a chance to fix everything.”
“How?” I ask wearily.
“I’ll think of something to keep them occupied. Just give me a chance, okay?”
What choices do I have left? I nod and lie back down in my furs, utterly depressed.
• • •
When I wake up, the cave is silent. Josie’s not in her furs. I dress and peek out the privacy screen. No suitors hovering at the doorstep. No fresh kills waiting for me. No presents left on my doorstep in the hopes of currying favor. This is…a welcome change. I feel like I can breathe. I don’t know what Josie did, but she’s a stinking genius.
I emerge from the cave and there are people out and about, but my suitors are nowhere to be seen. Salukh is nearby, sharpening the point of a spear. He nods in greeting and watches me as I move toward the central fire. Josie’s seated there with Kira. I sit down next to Josie and grab her hand, startling her. “What did you do and how can I thank you?”
She laughs. “I don’t know if you’re going to be too happy once you hear what I told them.”
The baby fusses and Josie hands her back to Kira. The new mother tugs a cord at the neck of her tunic and opens it, deftly sliding the baby against her breast. Kira looks so utterly peaceful and content, and it’s easy to see the wistfulness on Josie’s face.