Barbarian’s Mate(29)

And I want to tell him that I could kiss him for that, but my brain is still all shocky from earlier and I fall back asleep, letting him take care of things. For once, it’s good to let my guard down and realize someone else has my back.

When I wake up again later that night, Haeden is gone. The fire is crackling and the cave is cozy and warm. New furs that smell a little musty and that must have come from somewhere in the cave are piled on top of me, and I drift back to sleep. Haeden must be hunting. Or something. Strangely enough, I’m not worried. I know he wouldn’t leave me if there was a chance something bad would happen. I sleep on.

I wake up the next morning with Haeden’s arms wrapped tightly around me, and his naked body is under the furs next to mine. We’re spooning and his cock is hard against my butt, but I can hear how deeply he’s asleep. I roll over slowly, my body moving inch by slow inch so I do my best not to wake him up. Every muscle in my body aches, and I don’t know if it’s from the endless hiking or from, ugh, being swallowed whole. Just the thought makes my gorge rise and I spend the next few minutes doing my best not to freak out all over again.

Haeden, however, is warm and strong and wonderful, so I snuggle closer to him and his arms tighten around me reflexively. My cootie is purring loud, joined by his, and the ache between my legs has returned. We need to fulfill resonance, and soon. I lift a hand to smooth it down his chest and realize there are deep scratches down my naked arm. I frown at them, trying to figure out where they’ve come from. The creature’s teeth must have scratched me as I went down its throat.

I shudder hard. It’s going to take me a long fucking time to get over that. If I close my eyes I can still feel the awful clench of its throat as it swallows me.

“Hush,” Haeden murmurs, his hand brushing over my shoulder and down my arm. “I am here. I will not let anything else harm you.”

I want to tease him about his confident words, but they make me feel better. I relax next to him. “Where did you go last night?”

“Hunting. I ran back to pick up our packs, as well.” His fingers brush my cheek. “Were you scared?”

“No. I knew you wouldn’t let me get hurt.” I trace my fingers over his pectorals, just because I like touching him. “I’m a bit banged up, though.”

His eyes remain closed even as his hands roam over my body possessively. “Mm. It will heal soon enough. Do you hurt? Shall I get liidi to numb your aches?”

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of more of that goop. “No thanks. I’m just sore and a bit scratched.” My fingers glide over a deep cut directly over the center of his pectorals and I frown. “Did that thing get you, too?”

“No. I did that.”

I sit up. “You cut yourself? Why?”

He pulls me back down into the furs, all without opening his eyes. Man, he must be wiped. “I did it because I placed my blade there. If you had died, I wanted to follow you.”

“That is so fucked up,” I whisper, shocked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s also the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, but it’s seriously fucked up.”

“You are my mate. There is nothing for me if you are gone.” And he pulls me back down against him and fits my head against his shoulder. “Rest now.”

I relax against him because I know he needs his sleep. I can’t drift off, though. Not without thinking about him, grieving and upset at the thought of losing me. I think hard, and then because I’m insecure, I poke him in the chest to wake him up.

“Did you try to do that after Zalah?”

He struggles awake, blinking at me. “Do what?”

“Did you try to kill yourself after Zalah died?”

He snorts as if amused by the thought. “No. Go to sleep.”

For some reason, this pleases me. I’m more important to him than Zalah was. I shouldn’t care about something so petty…but fuck that, I totally care. And it makes me happy.

If we both weren’t so tired, I’d totally nail him right now.



* * *



Haeden sleeps on for hours, and I drift off again, too. When I wake up again, it’s (sadly) not to my man nuzzling between my thighs but the scent of cooking meat. Okay, I’ll take that.

I sit up and rub my eyes, yawning. He’s crouched near the fire, slowly turning a spit, his tail flicking back and forth. He’s also naked, and I can see his ball sack hanging between his strong thighs from behind. Most people wouldn’t be able to make that work, but I can’t stop staring at him. He’s so damn sexy.

Remind me again why we’ve been fighting this? I ask my brain. The ache between my legs increases and I have to physically keep myself from pressing a hand between my legs and masturbating at the sight of him. I must be feeling better.

My cootie’s increased hum alerts him and he glances over his shoulder at me, black braid spilling down his back. “Awake?”

I nod and sit up, letting the covers slide to my waist so he can get a good look at my nudity. “Very awake. How long have we been sleeping?”

He grunts acknowledgment and turns back to the fire, which is disappointing. “It has been a day since…” He coughs as if he cannot say the words, then concludes gruffly, “A day.”

I slide a little closer to him. “Is that all? It feels like longer.”

He nods. He doesn’t look at me.

For some reason, that hurts. “What is it? Why won’t you look at me?”

Haeden glares at the fire. He rubs his chest absently, his khui purring so loud that just the sound of it makes me wet with need. “Because I nearly lost you, and it is taking all of my effort not to throw you down onto the furs and ram my cock into your cunt to claim you.”

Oh. That should not turn me on nearly as much as it does. I squeeze my thighs tight together. “Because…your body hurts?” I guess. “You’re still exhausted?”

He snorts in derision. “Not me. You are not well. You are fragile and need more rest.”

Oh barf, more of this ‘fragile Josie’ shit? Does he think now I’m going to break into a million pieces if he touches me? Because some bird the size of a bus tried to have me as a snack? Because seriously? Yes, I’m traumatized. But the best solution for that would be for him to hold me, not ignore me.

Clearly I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.

I want to move forward, not backward. I want us to become one.

I want to become his mate.

I reach out and grab his swishing tail. It immediately curls around my wrist, feather soft and smooth. He glances over at me then. “Hi,” I say, smiling. “Remember me? Your mate?”

His brows furrow in confusion, not getting my joke.

“You promised you’d practice kissing with me. We can at least do that, right?” I bat my eyes at him, doing my best to look innocent. My plan is an evil one, though. I figure if we start with kissing, he won’t be able to stop.

And really? I think it’s long past time we consummated this thing.

Haeden scowls in my direction as if I’ve just suggested we go for a naked morning jog. “You want to practice kissing? Now?”

“What’s wrong with now?”

“You are tired and ill—“

“I’m not!”

He tries again. “You have had a bad time of things—“

“But you saved me.” I bat my lashes again.

Haeden moves forward, peering at me, and cups my face. “Is there something in your eye?”

God, he really sucks at flirting, doesn’t he? “Nothing,” I say sourly, then change tactics. He wants to play nursemaid? All righty. “Though I do have something that hurts.”

He stiffens, all alarm. “What is it?” His hands smooth over my skin, checking me. “Where do you hurt?”

Aw, man. He’s so worried about me that it takes all the fun out of my idea of cupping my pussy and saying Here, big boy. I hurt here. He’s so sweet - and so determined to protect me from everything that could harm me. How did I ever think he was a dick? I pat his chest. “I’m just teasing, Haeden. But I do want to practice kissing.”

His ridged, thick sa-khui brow wrinkles. “Are you sure? I do not want you to exhaust yourself—“

I sit back in the blankets and pat them encouragingly. “I’ll be very careful.”

Haeden gives me a wary look and then nods, joining me in the furs. He moves with grace despite his big body, and I can’t help but stare at the fact that he’s got a raging hard-on already. Is he denying himself for me? How sweet. How misguided. I’d love to help him with that little problem.

Or not so little. His cock is impressive and my girl parts give an anticipatory little squeeze. We’re doing this tonight, come hell or high water. I’ve fought long and hard not to be his mate, but it’s funny how things work out. I can’t imagine anyone but Haeden for me. Even his gruffness is just a show, and I realize that now. He’s crabby because he cares too much, and it scares him.

And if that doesn’t make a woman turn to goo like a marshmallow, I don’t know what does.

Haeden thumps onto the furs next to me, his face close to mine. I give him a little smile to let him know that things are fine, that I’m not tired, and that this is gonna be great. I decide to start off slow. “So I know you’re a virgin—“