Barbarian’s Mate(28)

“I have failed you, my mate,” I say, placing my knife over my chest. The plates protecting my heart will not let me stab directly; I shove the knife against one and watch as blood wells against my skin. All it will take is one solid thrust and then I will join her. My gaze seeks out the loathsome sky-claw in the distance.

The creature is a black spot growing smaller on the horizon.

Then, it wobbles in mid-air.

Dips.

Falters.

The wings begin to beat erratically. It struggles to climb higher in the air, only to plummet further.

Fury rushes through me. I chase after it, moving swiftly over churned snow. It disappears over the next ridge and I race after it. I will cut out its heart with my knife and offer it to scavengers. I will hack out its eyes and flay the skin from its filthy body for daring to eat my mate.

Another anguished cry rips from my throat as I find it on the ground, the delicate wings flapping against the earth. It’s writhing in front of me, unable to fly. The creature is unlike any other bird I have seen - the face is a scaly, pointed triangle with thick, tufted brown fur on its throat and body. The wings are naked and stretched thin between finger-joints like fine leather stretched tight over a privacy screen over a cave. The entire thing is longer than some caves I have seen. It is hideous.

But it is on the ground.

Now’s my chance.

I give another cry of anger and stab at the thing’s throat. My knife sinks into the throat, and hot blood splashes over me. With a vindictive howl, I drag my blade through the throat until it the thrashing head goes limp and I am covered in its lifeblood.

That was for Jo-see.

I stab my knife into its side, just under the wing, unsatisfied. I do not know why it landed, but I will take the opportunity to avenge my mate. I will carve it into pieces and enjoy every stab of my blade. Another howl of anguished loss escapes me. My face is wet with blood and the tears that must be streaking down my face. In one moment, I have lost everything.

Everything.

“I had a mate,” I snarl at it, stabbing my knife into its side again. “And I loved her! You took her from me!” Over and over, my knife sinks into it. Then, I rest a hand, my heart pounding, against the creature’s large belly.

The belly moves.

I recoil backward, staring. Is it pregnant? Are more young about to spill forth from the creature? But the belly moves again, and then something sticks out of the center of the belly…something small and hard and pointed, wet with red blood. A tooth—

Or a knife.

My khui, silent until now, bursts into song.

Another howl escapes my throat, and my movements become frantic. “Jo-see! Jo-see!” I slam my knife in next to the other and then begin to slice at the creature’s thick stomach, trying to carve a hole. The thick, blubbery hide over the stomach fights me, and I snarl as I put both of my hands on the handle of my blade and use all of my strength to cut deeper, wider.

A bloodstained hand emerges, human fingers reaching and frantic.

Joy blasts through me, and I continue cutting. My mate!

My mate! She lives!

When the creature’s abdomen is hacked open, I grab the reaching hand and brace a foot against the belly of the creature and heave with all my might. The wound makes an awful sucking sound, and I pull harder. A growl of fury escapes me and then I pull again, determined. It will not keep her. It will not.

Then, the creature’s stomach gives way and Jo-see, wet, covered in gore and gasping for breath, slides out of it and into my arms.

My mate.

My everything.

I shout her name and pull her against me, no matter that she is soaked and covered in filth. My hand goes to her wet hair and I cradle her head - her sweet, sweet human head - against my chest.

My mate.

“C-couldn’t b-b-breathe,” she chokes out, shuddering against me. Her sticky hands work against my chest and then she curls them into fists. Her breath gasps from her lungs. “I couldn’t see. I couldn’t move—“ She bursts into tears and then begins to sob hard, burrowing against me. “Oh my God.”

“I know,” I tell her, stroking her blood-slicked hair back from her face. “Shhh. I have you, my mate.” I press my mouth to her smooth brow, not caring that she is filthy and I am not much better. She is mine, forever. The agony of the last few minutes surges through me and I stagger. The only thing that keeps me upright is that Jo-see sags against me. I press my mouth to her skin frantically again. “I thought I had lost you.”

She just sobs, pressing her cheek to my chest.

My poor mate. I want to clutch her against my chest forever and never let her go, but she is shivering and upset. I throw my pack down on the ground and tear it apart, pulling out the bedrolls. I wrap her in the furs, not caring that she is filthy. She must be warm. “Do not cry, my mate. I will take care of you.”

“S-says the g-g-guy that wasn’t just s-s-wallowed fucking whole!”

“I know,” I murmur, kissing and touching her everywhere. I cannot stop reaching for her. I will never stop seeing that awful vision of the sky-claw swooping low to scoop up my mate as if she is nothing.

I will protect her with my life.

Once she is bundled in the furs, I pick her up and begin to run. I do not care how long it will take to get her to the next hunter cave, I only know that she is not leaving my sight again.



* * *



The suns are close to setting behind the horizon when I stagger into the cave. A quill-beast yips and scurries out, and I mentally curse myself for not checking first to see if the cave was occupied. My mind is a whirl of scattered thoughts, all of them focused on one thing - keep my mate safe.

Jo-see has been quiet for some time, and I set her down gently inside. “Wait here.”

She shivers and nods, but does not speak. When the shadows move over her face, I see a blank look there. It worries me.

So I work quickly. I scoop up the offal left by the quill-beast and sweep the cave clean with a dvisti-tail whisk broom left by the last occupant. I left many of our supplies out on the trail in my haste to clothe Jo-see in our furs, but they do not matter. I can make new hooks, new knives. I can collect new fire-making supplies. All that matters is her.

I build a fire and soon have water melting in the pouch. My tea is gone, left back on the trail. It does not matter - the water will be used to bathe her first. After that, I will worry about tea.

Jo-see is quiet in the firelight, but her entire body still trembles.

“Come,” I tell her, and wince when my voice seems unnaturally gruff in the silence. “We are going to bathe you and then we are going to eat something.”

“I don’t think I can eat,” she whispers.

“You can, and you will.” I ignore the fact that we have nothing to eat and I left my travel rations back a way. One problem at a time.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she snaps, turning to glare at me.

I will take her anger. At least she is not staring vacantly ahead. I narrow my eyes and give her an irritated snort in the hopes of riling her temper. “I am your mate. I know best.”

“We’re not mated,” she cries out, and then bursts into new tears. “I almost died and you almost lost a second mate again because I’m a selfish asshole!” Her raw sobs fill the cavern.

I sit, frozen in shock. She was worried about me? All this time? Here I have been frantic with worry over her, how small she is, how shocked she must be, and she is thinking of me?

My chest aches. I rub it, ignoring the small nick at the top of my chest, where my knife dug into my skin. To think I almost killed myself while she was still alive in its belly, working to get out. The thought makes me ill.

I crouch in front of her. When she avoids looking at me, I cup her face in both my hands, ignoring how filthy she is. “Jo-see,” I say, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. When they do, I continue. “You were mine the day you landed in this world. I felt a connection the moment I saw you, and it frightened me. When we resonated, I realized that you were always meant to be mine. And I will keep you safe.”

Her eyes shimmer with tears and she opens her mouth to protest.

“I will keep you safe,” I repeat. My thumbs smooth over her rounded cheeks. “You are mine. That is all you need to know. If you are taken, I will come after you. If you are sick, I will never leave your side. If you leave, I will follow. You will never be without me, because I will come after you. Know this.” I brush my fingers over her breast, where her khui thrums. “Feel this and know it to be true.”

“But we’re not—“

“And when you are well,” I tell her in the same firm voice, cutting off her protest before it starts. “I will lie down with you in the furs and take you as mine. We will mate until you carry my kit. Then, resonance will be sated. But do not seek to tell me that you are not mine yet. Because you have always been mine.”

Her wounded eyes blink, and then she nods slowly. “Yours,” she whispers.

“Always,” I growl back.





18





JOSIE


I must have passed out at some point, because I wake up some time later to find the fire crackling higher than normal, and I’m naked on top of the filthy furs. Something warm and wet rubs my arm, and I look over to see that Haeden is carefully bathing me with long, smooth strokes of his hand. There’s a look of intense concentration on his face and I realize for the first time in a while that I am totally, completely safe. He’s not horn-dogging on me, he’s not doing this to score points. He’s doing this because he wants to take care of me. Because I’m important to him.