Barbarian’s Mate(21)

While he’s gone, I head to the back of the cargo bay, where the door leads deeper into the ship. Because of my hands, it’s made using the bathroom a bit of a chore and so I’m not wearing pants, letting my thigh-length leather tunic act as a dress. Haeden helped me out of my leggings last night (in the most humiliating, unsexy moment of the night) after I’d refused to let him help me pee. Of course, thinking about it now makes me think about my leg wrapped around him this morning. My bare leg wrapped around him.

I finish my potty business in the hall, taking a dark sort of pleasure in doing it on the alien floor. It’s like I’m saying fuck you to the dead aliens who stole me so many months ago. I could really use a bath, but my hands are still wrapped so that’s impossible. I manage to close the door to the hall behind me and then head to the fire - mere coals - and grab the bone between my bandage mittens to nudge the coals into a bit more life again. It’s weird - my hands aren’t numb anymore but they also don’t hurt. I’m a little worried about that.

After what feels like a really long time - but is probably only a few minutes - my cootie starts to purr. I look up from the fire I’m coaxing back into shape and Haeden appears, his big body silhouetted by the sunlight. I feel a funny little stab of attraction at the sight of him, and my smile is wide. “You’re back.”

He grunts and approaches, taking the bone out of my mittened hands carefully and stoking the fire with a few well-placed jabs. “Some tracks, but none too close to this place. They are wary of it.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

He nods, still poking the fire and not looking at me. Is he feeling uncomfortable after our ‘sleeping’ together? Why do I find that kind of cute?

“I don’t feel any pain in my hands,” I tell him, and hold them out toward him. “Is that a bad sign?”

“The liidi works fast. The khui will take care of the rest.” But his fingers brush against my skin as he grips my wrist and then begins to unwrap one hand. “We will look to be sure, though.”

“Okay.”

I hold still as he carefully removes the leather bandages. I can’t help but stare at his chest a bit, since it’s bare. He sacrificed his vest so he could wrap my hands, and the thought makes me feel warm. He didn’t even check to see if I had extra clothing, or suggest a blanket. Nope, he just whipped his shirt off and took care of things. Like I’m far more important than his own inconvenience.

All right now, all these thoughts are getting addictive.

With careful touches, Haeden pulls the leather off of the sticky mess on my hands and then cleans them with a fresh bit of fur from his bags and some warm water. The skin underneath is no longer a bright, angry purple. Instead, it looks much better. It also looks massively blistered. But Haeden is pleased. He grunts at the sight and nods. “One more day with your hands covered in liidi, and they will be good.”

“Really?” I wrinkle my nose at my hands. I’m glad they’re not hurting but they still look kind of bad to me, what with the whole ‘one massive blister’ thing and all.

“Yes.” He pulls the bandages off my other hand and cleans it. “Come sit by the fire. We will give your hands time in the fresh air and then we will apply more liidi. We will remove it tomorrow.”

“Will it be safe for me to travel with my hands all gunked up?”

He shrugs. “It does not matter. We are not leaving until your hands are healed.”

We’re not? “But…the metlaks — the girls—“ I gesture at the wall behind me, feeling strangely obligated to the two strangers sleeping in their pods. “Shouldn’t we work on rescuing them?”

“If what you tell me is true, they have been there for many moons already. Another day or two will not matter.” The look he gives me brooks no argument.

“All righty then.” I wiggle my fingers and they feel weird. The skin feels a little bubbled for all that it doesn’t hurt. Eeek. I’m not sure I like that. “Er, can I use them?” I don’t want them to touch anything, and yet my skin feels filthy and itchy from days of sweaty travel and I would kill to be clean right about now.

“Use them?”

“I wouldn’t mind having some time to myself.”

The idea makes him scowl. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Just when I was starting to have a soft spot for the big lug.

“Whatever you need done, I shall do for you.”

“What, are you going to give me a sponge bath?” I taunt.

His eyes flare and I can hear his cootie get louder. “Do…do you want to bathe?” His voice has a hoarse little hitch in it, and his gaze is locked onto mine.

Oh, lordy. I taunted the devil and now he’s taking me up on it. I should say no but…my own cootie’s going a mile a minute and I’m getting all aroused just at the mental image of Haeden washing me. Be strong, I tell myself. This isn’t what you wanted.

But what I wanted was thrown out the door a long time ago, wasn’t it? And part of me wants to go with the flow, to see where it takes us. I know I should be thinking about the two girls nestled away in the pods, sleeping and unaware of their future. I know I should be thinking about the fact that I have to go home, and the tribe might try to prevent me from leaving again. But all I can think about are Haeden’s big hands skimming over my skin.

“Do you want to bathe?” he asks again.

“I don’t know,” I admit. I can feel my cheeks heating. I think of this morning, waking up to his head pressed against my breasts, my bare leg hiked up around his waist. For the first time, I feel a pang of regret that I’ve been fighting this so hard. Why not just see where this leads, a horny little voice inside my head asks. Can’t be any worse than where we’ve been before.

Except that Haeden’s gazing down at me with such simmering intensity. It’s like bathing me clean of dirt is suddenly the only thing he’s ever wanted.

“I’m scared,” I admit after a moment, and then I feel stupid. I’m not scared of a sponge bath — I’m scared of where it might lead.

I wait for him to taunt me over my words. To mock me for blurting something so random. But he only touches my cheek. “We are both frightened of what this could mean,” he says, voice husky even as his warm, callused fingers trace my jaw. “But that does not mean we should not explore it.”

I want to lean into his touch, and the idea’s shocking to me. It’s almost as shocking as the realization that I’m going to say yes.





HAEDEN


Jo-see looks up at me with big, wary eyes. “If…if I say stop, we’ll stop, right?”

I nod, because I do not trust my own voice. To think, she is going to let me bathe her — it feels like the greatest gift I have ever been given. “Always.”

She nods. “I would like to be clean,” she says in a faint voice, but the bright color on her cheeks tells me it is not the only thing she likes. I can smell her arousal, and her khui is humming in time with mine.

I feel a surge of triumph. She is yielding to me. Bit by bit, Jo-see is seeing that I can be a good mate to her. I want to shout my pleasure at the thought, but I force myself to only give a brief nod. Everything will be as she asks. I will push for no more than she will give me.

“Do you have extra soapberries?” she prompts, pulling me from my racing thoughts.

I nod and touch her cheek one more time, then move to the fire. I stoke it high. I want the water to be warm and pleasant for my mate. I quickly fill my stew pouch with fresh snow and add a few soapberries to it. “It will take some time for the water to heat.” Perhaps during that time my lust will cool long enough that my cock will not ache as I touch her. The idea is…not likely, though.

“Okay,” she says in a soft voice, and then moves to the opposite side of the fire.

We’re silent as we wait on the water. She hums a small song under her breath, as she so often does, but I am quiet. My thoughts are focused entirely on the concept of bathing her. I have bathed others in my tribe, washed the backs of many, scrubbed a friend that was injured. It should mean nothing. Instead, I cannot stop thinking about it. It is just a bath, but this is Jo-see.

My Jo-see.

And I worry I will come in my breechcloth again.

A breeze rips through the shelter, bringing with it fresh snow and cold air. The fire flickers and Jo-see lifts her hands as if to rub her arms, and then stops. Her gaze meets mine and she flushes again, her cheeks wonderfully pink. And for some reason, I feel like smiling.

I get to my feet, ignoring my erection. I cannot hide it, just like I cannot hide the song my khui hums. I dip my fingers in the water. It is warm enough. “Come,” I tell her. “Let us take your clothing off.”

And my groin tightens in anticipation.

She makes a little squeak of nervous sound but gets to her feet. Her eyes are wide as she moves slowly toward me.

I get to my feet and when she comes to stand before me, it takes everything I have not to crush her against my chest. I want to hold her, to feel her warm skin against mine. I want to protect her from the world. But for now? I will settle for touching her.

I can feel the tension between us, crackling like lightning. I reach for the laces at the neck of her tunic, and she shivers. “Cold?” I ask.