Bang Gang(56)

I crashed on the sofa to watch TV with Nanna, and she wasn't exactly coy with her conversation.

"No Darren this evening?"

"No, Nanna. He's probably busy."

Or ignoring me.

"We could do with a strong man around the house, Jo. Good for getting the cobwebs down from the landing."

"Yes, Nanna. I'll ask him to get up there with the feather duster next time he's over. He doesn't need to move in for that."

"Not for that," she said. "It's just a bit of icing on the cake, love."

I turned to face her. "You'd be happy with that? Darren moving in here?"

Like I needed to ask. Her smile was bright, creasing her cheeks with  happiness. "Oh yes, love. The girls, too. Just think how happy the girls  would be."

I was trying not to think about that. Trying not to ponder fantasies for  their sake. The thought of crippling them with grief if it didn't work  out again was too much to take.

I was yawning all the way through her crime programme, couldn't keep myself awake.

"I've got to go to bed, Nanna. I'm pooped."

I gave her a hug on the way past and she rubbed my back. "You get some sleep, my girl. You look exhausted."

I felt it.

I checked my phone again before lights out, but there were no messages.

Radio silence from Darren Trent. Maybe things weren't all that different this time around.

I tried not to think of all the people he might be with, tried not to  consider that any of the women at Ruby's Halloween party could have made  a move straight over to his after dropping the kids home.

My hand was on my belly, my thoughts were all with him. They'd always been with him.

I didn't want to cry, but I did.

I'd never been pregnant and alone before. Pregnant and scared, but never alone.

Christ, what a fucking mess.

I propped a load of pillows at the side of me and flung my arm over the  lot of them, pretended there was someone there with me, pretended he was  just busy, just busy with normal shit, pretended he wasn't a fucking  gigolo and that things would be just fine.





Halloween night. I could see the Drum through my window, packed to the  rafters with people in daft fucking costumes. The urge for a nice cold  pint was eating at me, but I didn't go out. I didn't want to see anyone,  not one single fucking person in there.

I watched shit on TV and looked through the pics of Ruby that Jo had messaged through.

It broke my fucking heart.

I'd had a fair few cans before my phone pinged again, and again it was that fucking Lorraine bitch and not Jo.

Party starts at 7.30. I'd get there at 7.15 if I were you, make sure  you're not late for the action, hey? Maybe you can take Jodie off for  some one on one if she's game for it.

My text back was instant.

You're a bitter old fucking cunt, Lorraine. Stay the fuck out of my fucking face.

Another ping.                       
       
           



       

Oh, Darren! Don't be like that. You and I both know you'll be there.  Sorry if I hurt your feelings, diddums, but I did try to warn you. xx

And another. Don't let her get to you. I can't believe you ever thought she'd really have you back. x

I threw my phone against the wall and the screen fizzled and went black.  I threw my beer can after it. It caught the framed picture of Ruby and  Mia on the roundabout up by my parents' house, and the whole thing  swayed and then slipped from its hook. It landed with a crash of  splintered glass. I pulled the photo from the wreckage and my girls  smiled out at me.

I'd give anything to be with those girls. Any fucking thing.

But that wasn't it. Not even close. That didn't even come close to  justifying how much I wanted to be back in Jodie's bed, back in her  life, back in her arms at night.

Anger, so much anger, anger at that bitch Lorraine, anger at myself.  Anger that I couldn't fucking say what I needed to say, couldn't put it  out there enough to drive to Jodie's and tell her how it fucking was,  tell her that I'd rather cut my fucking dick off than have her at some  dirty fucking gangbang at Lorraine's house.

Tell her it was breaking my fucking heart.

That she was breaking my fucking heart.

That my heart had been fucking broken since the day she told me it was  over. Since the day she'd finally packed up her things and left me on my  fucking own.

It'd been a long fucking time since I'd cried actual tears over Jodie Symmonds.

The last time had been in Lorraine's seedy fucking arms, her greedy fucking cunt eating me up and making it all better.

Like Lorraine could ever fucking make it better.



Nothing would ever make it fucking better.





Still nothing from Darren. I stared at my phone and scowled, shoving it  back in my apron pocket before Lorraine caught wind of it.

"Excited for tonight?" she said.

I nodded. "Should be fun."

She came close. "You shopping for you and Darren?"

I didn't answer.

She nudged me in the arm. "Oh come on, Jodie. Don't think I'm not aware  you two are back together. I know I was …  concerned …  but we're friends,  aren't we?"

I smiled. "Yeah, we're friends."

"So," she prompted. "What are you going to be shopping for?"

I felt a blush brewing. "I don't know!" I kept my smile coy. "I'll have  to keep an open mind, won't I? I'm sure something will take my fancy."

I didn't say that he was being a dick, that he was barely speaking to  me, that I'd told him I loved him and he'd cooled off faster than a  hotdog in the snow.

That still fucking hurt.

"Seven-thirty," she said. "Prompt. Make sure you're there on the dot, alright? We have some games planned."

I rolled my eyes. "Christ, Lorraine, I dread to think. Don't think I'm  doing any of that pass the vibrator between your knees rubbish."

"Spoilsport," she scoffed. "Seven-thirty, right?"

I ditched my apron, shift done. "Seven-thirty," I said. "Don't worry, I'll be on time."

"Can't wait." She grinned.





My phone was trashed, wouldn't even start up.

I left it on the desk in the garage and tried to get on with the backlog  of car services, tried to pretend I didn't give a shit about this  gangbang at Lorraine's, that it didn't matter if Jodie was there or not,  that it didn't matter if she really loved me.

I'll be alright, I told myself.

I'll get through it, just like last time.

The guys said virtually nothing all fucking day, banter well and truly dead to the bone.

"Did you talk to her?" Buck asked before they left for the day. "Please fucking tell me you talked to her?"

I shrugged. "Not my business, Buck."

He shook his head. "You're a fucking idiot, Trent."

"Yeah, well, better to be a fucking idiot than played for a fucking idiot."

He slapped my back. "Ain't none of us gonna be touching your missus, don't you be fucking worrying about that."                       
       
           



       

I nodded.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said. "Talk to her."



I tried to keep busy at the yard, but the clock kept fucking ticking. I couldn't stop fucking looking at it.

When the time neared seven I couldn't fucking take it, couldn't stay fucking still.

I tried to remember Jo's mobile number, to call her from the landline,  but it'd been so fucking long since I'd dialled it manually that I  couldn't fucking dredge it from my brain.

Shit.

I could make seven-fifteen, but only if I raced like a fucking idiot.

I raced like a fucking idiot.



I pulled up outside Lorraine's with a big fucking screech. Bailed out of  the truck without even locking it. I threw myself through the front  door and along the hallway, swinging the living room door open wide as I  called Jodie's name.

Jesus fucking wept.

Jodie wasn't anywhere to be seen, but she was about the only one.

Naked fucking bodies everywhere. I tried to keep my eyes on the faces  and not the bouncing tits and gaping fucking pussy all over the place.  Mandy Taylor, her cunt stretched around Buck's dick, Petey riding her  fucking asshole at the same time. Debbie Gibson with Hugh's dick down  her throat, makeup and spit all over her dirty fucking face.

Lorraine was riding Jimmy O, her big fucking tits bouncing around as he  thrust up into her asshole. She had a vibe against her clit, and he was  jamming his fingers in her cunt, stretching her over his knuckles.

Jesus fucking Christ.

A couple of other women I recognised from the garage. Mary Roberts,  who'd dropped her car in three times this last month for stupid shit,  and her neighbour Donna who kept flashing me slutty looks in the village  shop. They giggled and spread their legs, pussies fucking glistening.

I knew before Lorraine said it. I just fucking knew.

"They're waiting for your gorgeous dick, Trent," she said. "Be a good boy and give it to them good and hard, won't you?"

I stepped backwards. "Where's Jodie?"