Bang Gang(51)

"Daisy is. Daisy turned thirteen last month."

"This doesn't happen again, Jodie, I mean it. No wandering off on her  own, no more pulling shit like this." I felt the fear again, the  horrible fucking panic at hearing Mia scream. "What if I hadn't been  there?"

Her eyes met mine. "You were there."

"Yeah, but what if … " My voice trailed off.

"You'll always be there, Darren. You're her dad."

The fear exploded, and words came with it. "But I'm not there, am I? I  won't know where she is every night. I won't know when she's off with  Daisy and what time she's gonna be back, I won't be waiting at home when  she first takes the bus into town alone, I won't be waiting for her to  get back in a taxi when she's gone out to a club when she's barely  legal."

"But I'll …  you'll know …  I'll tell you … "

"How? Real-time fucking text updates? A nightly fucking phone call? How, Jo?"

She put her head in her hands. "If that's what you want, Darren. I'll call you ten times a day if that's what you want."

That's not what I want. I want to be THERE.

I unzipped the door enough to light up a cigarette, and caught her staring at my knuckles.

"How's your hand?"

I shrugged. "Alright."

"Doesn't look alright."

I held it under the light, swollen knuckles. I'd had worse. I told her as much.

She sighed. "This isn't how I wanted things to pan out."

"What do you mean?"                       
       
           



       

She wouldn't look at me. "I hoped we'd …  talk …  I had so much to say, but now … " She slapped her knees, dismissing the whole thing.

"Now what?"

"Now you're angry, and I don't know what to say anymore."

"I'm not angry," I said. "I'm just pissed off, Jo. Pissed off that those  assholes had hold of our fucking daughter. Pissed off she lied, pissed  off she was stupid, pissed off I didn't stop her going."

"And me? Are you pissed off at me, too? I said she could go, Darren. Do  you not think I feel like shit, too? Do you not think I know this is my  fault?"

I stared at her. "I'm not pissed off at you. I get it, I get you have to  let her do this shit, I get she has to be allowed to be her own  person."

"So what now?"

I shrugged. "I don't fucking know. She's grounded for-fucking-ever, then  there'll be no fucking lads trying their luck, will there? She can be a  fucking nun, Jodie, we'll book her into the fucking convent when we're  at work, just so no pricks can come calling when we're out."

She smiled and tried to hide it, covered her mouth with her hand.

"I'm not even joking," I said. "You think I'm fucking joking, don't you?"

Her smile turned into a laugh, that breathy giggle that comes when she's relieved.

"See if I'm fucking joking when I get the vicar round next week." I took  a drag on my cigarette, and Jodie's giggle caught me. A laugh caught in  my throat, and I struggled to keep a straight face. She saw it. Saw the  flash of a smile on my face, and it set her off. She laughed so hard  she fell back with her hands on her belly and I laughed, too.

"Stop it," I attempted, but it was pointless, I was on one myself, just the same as her.

"I'm sorry … "

"You're fucking not," I laughed.

She rolled on the sleeping bag, letting it all out, tension broken. I  felt it too. That relief. That blissful fucking relief like a dam  breaking.

The laughter eased off slowly, really fucking slowly, and it left  something else in its place, a heaviness in the air, her eyes wide as  she looked up at me, her pupils like big black pools.

"Thank you," she said. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't been there."

My chest pained. "It's alright, Jo. I was there."

She sighed. "But you're not …  we're not … " She reached out for my hand,  the swollen one. I flicked my cigarette through the door before she took  it. She ran a thumb across my knuckles and it hurt like a bitch. I  didn't say anything. "You were wild, Darren. I've never seen you fly so  hard."

"They had our girl, Jo."

She nodded. "I know … "

"Don't try and tell me I shouldn't have gone in like that. I'll always  go in like that if the girls need it, no matter what, Jo, whatever it  takes. I'm not gonna say fucking sorry for it."

She took a breath. "What makes you think I'd want you to?"

My hand was still in hers, her fingers were cold. "You don't?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't." She pulled me towards her, ever so  fucking slowly. "I love the way you love our girls, Darren. I love the  way you look out for them. I love the way you're there. I love how you'd  do anything it took to keep them safe." She paused. "Just like I  would."

"I love those fucking girls, Jodie. You know I do."

And you. I fucking love you, too.

She nodded. "I know."

I shifted towards her, shunted myself so I was propped on my side, my  hand still in hers. "What's going on here? We fucking talking or what?  Where's this all going?"

"I want to talk … " she said. "But I …  I just need … "

"What?"

She pulled my arm around her and wriggled in to my side, and it felt so  good. It felt really fucking good. "Hold me," she said. "Please. Just  for a minute."

As if she needed to fucking ask. I squeezed her tight, pulled her close,  her head in the crook of my shoulder, my breath in her hair. "It's  alright now, Jo. Everything's alright."                       
       
           



       

Her breathing slowed, fingers gliding up my arm and back again. Her leg shifted, hooked over mine.

Christ, it was the most natural fucking move in the world to pull her on  top of me. Her legs fell so perfectly between mine, her tits to my  chest, her face in my face. I brushed her hair back from her forehead  and looked at her, really looked at her.

She looked absolutely fucking beautiful.

She smiled a shy smile. "What?"

"Just you," I said.

"Just what about me?"

Just that I love you, Jodie. I've always fucking loved you.

I brushed her cheeks with my thumbs, then held her there, pulled her  face to mine. She tasted of wine and smelled of the smoke from the  barbeque outside. She squirmed against me as we kissed, and I slipped my  hands down her back, grabbed hold of that pretty ass of hers and  shunted her tight against my cock. She moaned, ever so quietly, grinding  her hips as I pushed against her. I helped her out of her jacket,  pulled her top off over her head, and she raised herself enough to strip  me of mine.

Skin to skin, just a flimsy bra between her tits and my chest. I had her  out of it in a beat, and the cold hardened her nipples, they felt like  bullets against my thumbs.

She loosened her jeans and wriggled them down, her knickers with them,  and she was naked, naked and fucking horny, guiding my fingers to her  clit.

She straddled me, leaning back with her hands braced on my thighs. My  thumb flicked at that tight little bud, and she rocked back and forth,  her head tipped back as the sensations took her.

Her tits looked so fucking good in the lamplight, rippling as she moved, nipples dark and hard, just begging for my mouth.

I pinned her clit with my thumb and she moaned.

"More," she hissed. "Like that … "

I gave her more like that. I gave her enough that she shuddered,  squirming around like a fucking cowgirl. She arched her back and I  slipped two fingers inside her, curled them to find the spot.

"Stay still," she said. "Don't move … "

I didn't move, just stared up at her as she circled her hips, rode my  fingers until she was squelching, her cunt sucking at my fingers and  begging for fucking more. Her eyes were closed, her bottom lip between  her teeth, her breath coming in short, sharp rasps.

She came hard, stifled by the back of her hand, her whole body tense, bouncing on my fingers.

I wriggled my way out of my jeans as she recovered, and she didn't miss a  fucking beat, just took my cock in her hand and lowered herself  straight on. I let out a grunt as her pussy took me right in, and she  leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine as I thrust up at her.

"Stop," she whispered. "Don't move …  let me … "

It was fucking bliss as she rode me, big slow circles of her hips,  torturously fucking perfect. She pinned my wrists above my head and  moved like a fucking wildcat, all feline and slinky, so fucking smooth I  felt like I was floating in silk.

I let her lead, staring up in fucking wonder as she writhed and rocked,  taking all of me. It took everything I had not to flip her over and  pound the holy fuck out of her.