Bang Gang(44)

Shit, she replied. I think you two need to lock yourselves in a room for a week and fuck out the details.

It made me laugh. I'd be game for that.

But would I be? Would I really? Knowing he was dipping his wick in anyone who was paying for it?

Hell, half the women in the playground might be riding his cock all night for all I knew.

Could I live with that?

No. No I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to. Not even if I thought I  could at first, that kind of crap eats away at you, eats away at  everything.

I'd never do that to the girls.

You want him, the next message said. He wants you. Jesus Christ, Jodie,  you two are fucking crazy about each other, you'd have to be blind not  to see that.

Maybe I was blind, because I wasn't nearly so sure.

Not with his box of cash under his bed and another woman's engagement ring in his bedside drawer.

I sighed, went to type out goodnight, but another message came through  before I could. I hoped it was Darren, but of course it was Tonya.

Ladies who lunch tomorrow. You coming?

I typed yes on instinct, then thought about it. Deleted it.

No. I wasn't going to ladies who lunch. If I was honest with myself I  couldn't stand Mandy Taylor's smug face ever since she'd blabbed that  she'd been fucking Darren. The thought of it made me feel sick. The  thought of it made me feel like a jealous bitch, a crazy, the kind of  woman who wanted to pull Mandy Taylor's hair out and tell her to stay  the hell away from my man, you skanky fucking hoe.

I'd never admitted to myself I'd felt like that before, but there it was, lurking beneath the surface, the undeniable vitriol.

No, I typed. I'll give it a miss tomorrow.

Working? she asked.

No.

She sent a line of smileys that took up two rows, and it made me smile. She knew me so well.

Go get your man, she said. Fuck him senseless. Figure out the details later. You know you want to. xx

I put my phone on the nightstand and smiled to myself, daring myself to live, just a little. To be reckless, just a little.

A safe amount.

An amount of reckless that wouldn't hurt anyone.

I picked up my phone for the last time before I went to sleep. One final message to Tonya.

I think I might just do that. xx





I was outside Jodie's well in time to take the girls to school. They  seemed to be in their usual spirits, just like any other school day.  Ruby screamed blue fucking murder when I told her it was Mia's turn to  sit up front.

It's not fairrrr! I wanna go up front! That's my seat!

Not today it wasn't.

She sulked in the backseat, but that would have to do. I wanted to keep an eye on Mia.

I parked up by the bus stop, and today I cut the engine and got out with  her. I stood with her while we waited, scoping out the kids around.

None of them put a foot wrong, full of smiles and hellos like butter wouldn't fucking melt.

Tyler Dean saw me from up the road. He stopped, looked unsure of himself, like the little weasel he was.

Come on, dipshit.

He walked so fucking slowly. Dawdling like a prick, pretending to check out his phone.

I waited. I'd gladly wait all fucking day.

He stayed well away from us, huddled with a few of his dickhead mates,  but they were all quiet as mice. They wouldn't even look at Mia.

"Alright, lads," I called. I lit up a cigarette. "I'd best not be  hearing about any bullshit going down on the bus today, or the shit's  gonna fly. Do you fucking hear me?"

A load of nods, a load of mumbles.

"Tyler," I snapped. I waited until he met my eye. "I'm gonna be here  tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after, and every fucking day  after that, so I'd think very fucking carefully about the seat you  choose on that bus, understand?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mr Trent."

Pussy assed prick.

The bus pulled up and Mia smiled at me. I kissed her head, ruffled her hair. She smoothed it back down again, gave me a tut.

"See you later, Dad." She looked back at me from the doorway. "Thanks."

I slapped the side of the bus as it pulled away, gave her a wave as she looked out the window.

Ruby was up front when I got back in the truck. "Still should have punched him in the mouth," she said. "He's a prick."                       
       
           



       

I smiled. "Yes, Rubes, he's a fucking prick alright."

We were late for school, I pulled up on the verge just as the kids were  filing in to class. The mums all stared at me, whispering like usual  –   probably commenting on my sack of shit parenting skills  –  but none of  that mattered. None of their bullshit ideals had ever meant shit to me.

"Be good," I said as I waved her off. "No garage words, alright? Try your hardest not to butt-hurt anyone."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll try," she leaned in close, put her hands  around her mouth. "But butt-hurting stupid idiots is so fun."

She gave me the thumbs-up, and I couldn't stop laughing all the way to the fucking yard.

That girl was my fucking daughter, alright.



The lads were already at work when I got there. The banter eased up as I  stepped through the shutters, just the sound of the radio blaring out  the same old shit.

"Alright?" I said.

"Yeah," Buck said. "Opened up early. Just getting our heads down, got shit-loads on."

I counted the breakdowns lined up outside. "Good call."

He cleared his throat. "We were hoping for a bit of time, if Eleanor … "

I nodded. "Get this backlog down, then."

Petey dished out the drinks, then got down to it, checked out the  diagnostics set up with Buck. He was learning, I could see it. Good lad.

I wondered how he was going with Lorraine, then checked myself. It was  none of my business how he was getting on with Lorraine, none of my  business how he was getting on with any of it.

I didn't want it to be my business.

Not anymore.

I checked out Cheryl Neath's old blue Fiesta outside. The thing was  fucked. Head gasket. Poor cow. I slammed the bonnet closed as an engine  purred onto our yard. Nice, but no Porsche, thank fuck.

Lee Pullen was behind the wheel of a big silver Audi convertible. He  pulled up next to me, wearing shades in fucking October, daft prick.

"What do you think?" he said.

I can't stand convertibles. Wouldn't have one if someone fucking paid me, but I gave him a nod.

"She's alright, yeah. My Ruby would go mad for her, she loves Audis."

"A girl with taste," he said.

I gave it a look, thing must have set him back a small fucking fortune,  the car was only just past warranty, judging by the plates.

"Was hoping you'd check her over for me. Got a month's no quibble guarantee from the dealer."

"Can do," I said. I tipped my head towards the empty spot in the garage.  "Pull her in there." He parked her up and handed me the keys. "Pick her  up end of day," I said. "I'll get on it after lunch."

He slapped my arm. "Cheers, Trent."

The lads were impressed, I could tell. I was more interested in making  sure Ruby got to see it, maybe even give her a spin with the roof down.  Needed to test drive the thing anyway. She'd love that.

The next job was a fucking nightmare, had to get Petey to give me a hand  with the hoist, taking the whole bastard engine out of a Mercedes. I  was covered in oil in no time, black with the fucking stuff before Petey  had made the next round of tea.

I heard another car pull onto the yard, turned my head in recognition.  No fucking way. My heart beat faster, my stomach doing this daft sappy  flip.

Jodie looked great. Her hair was glossy and straight, her smile bright.  She was wearing tight black jeans with her old sandals, a floaty blouse  with a beaded necklace that made her look like she was from one of those  holiday brochures.

She got a box from the backseat and I met her by the doors.

I'd never have known she was nervous if I didn't know her so well, hadn't noticed the flush on her neck.

The lads gave her a wave but laid off the whistling. Just as well.

"You alright?" I said. "Girls alright?"

She nodded. "I was just … " She didn't look at me. "Nanna wanted a bacon  and egg sandwich, so I went to the shop, on a mission … " Her eyes crept  up. "I was going to go to ladies who lunch, but Nanna hasn't asked for  breakfast in ages …  and I thought …  I thought I may as well … " The smell  hit me as she lifted the top of the box. Five sandwiches, wrapped up  nice in foil. "For you, and the guys."                       
       
           



       

"Thanks," I said. "That's really nice, Jo."

I took the box from her and handed it to Buck to dish out, and she smiled as the guys called thanks. Then she hovered.

" … It was no trouble, I was cooking anyway. I mean I have Monday mornings  off …  usually …  it's my free time … " She cleared her throat. Looked really  shifty. "Are you …  busy?"