Back To Country (Country Love #4)(43)

Sadie: Good. We'll be over there as soon as our babysitter gets here. Please tell him we love him.





Tears burn in my eyes, but I refuse to shed a tear until I'm with him. As we get closer to the hospital, I steal myself to get ready to see him. I thank the driver as he drops me off at the entrance of the hospital. Taking my bag, I walk inside and right over to the information desk. My heart stops when the woman tells me he's in ICU on the fourth floor. I knew it sounded bad by the way Sadie talked and the sound of her voice, but I guess I didn't realize he was in ICU. Taking the elevator only makes me more anxious. When the doors open, I square my shoulders, holding my head up high as I walk toward the nurse's station. If Nash is awake, he doesn't need to see me break down. I need to be strong  –  for him.

"Tina!" I turn my head and see Manuel stand, propping his hand on his cane. I start walking toward him so he doesn't have to walk. "It's good to see you." I lean in and kiss his cheek then he sits down. Taking a step back to give him room, I look up and into the window in front of me, seeing Nash lying in a small single bed. Bruising is evident on the left side of his face and around his left eye. A large bandage covers almost the expansion of his forehead. I can't see the injuries beneath the sheet but the cast on his right arm and the tube protruding from his nose giving him the oxygen needed to allow him to breathe is enough to cause a tear to fall from my eye.

I swallow hard, unsure if I can speak. "Has he woken up?" I'm not sure if I even want to hear the answer to my question. Partly because I'm afraid if he hasn't, he never will. And partly for selfish reasons. I hate for him to have woken up and I wasn't here.

"Not yet. Dr. Franklin said it's best for him right now if he didn't. He's done all he can, for now, but Nash is young, strong, and a damn good fighter." He pats my shoulder. I hadn't realized he'd stood up nor that I'd been holding my breath. I fight back the tears but nervous I'll break down if I go inside the room. "Go in, sweetheart. There's nothin' like the voice of the woman a man loves to make him fight harder." I nod, sure he's right but my feet won't move. I'm frozen. He nudges my arm. "He doesn't look any worse close up." I blink and look at him. He's smiling. 



 I walk inside the small room. The only sounds are of the beeps of the machines and the oxygen pump helping to keep him alive. As I get closer to his side I think internally about how Manuel lied. Nash looks much worse up close then behind the window. I stand here looking down at him and smile, reaching out and brush some of his thick hair away from his face. Now I know that all those people in movies who visit a loved one in the hospital that say they'll be strong for them is a bunch of bullshit. There's no way to be strong looking at someone you love, battered, bruised, and fighting for their life. It's just a bunch of lines written to make them look cavalier and stronger than people are in real life.

I pick up his hand, seeing the needle pushed into his skin, tape covering it to hold it in place, and the tube that protrudes and hangs from the pole behind him. "Nash," my voice scratches, sounding strange. "It's Tina." Another stupid line from a movie where the loved one says their name, just in case their loved one doesn't know it. Okay, I'll stop being mean but I'm used to joking when I'm upset or nervous. "God, you scared me," I whisper. I swallow hard, my throat dry. "Please don't leave me." I choke on my emotions. "I never thought I'd find the man of my dreams and a cowboy no less." I laugh but it doesn't feel good. Looking behind my shoulder, I see a chair close by. Reaching around, I pull it as close to his bed as I can, still holding his hand. I rub my thumb across his soft skin as I sit. "You're here because of me." Leaning down, I kiss his arm then rest my head on the mattress, still stroking his hand. "If I'd been stronger, waited and talked to you  –  you wouldn't have come to get me. You wouldn't have driven home and...." Laying my forehead against his arm, I start crying. Well, it's more like snotty blubbering. I feel a hand on my head, stroking my hair. That's really sweet of Manuel.



"Not  –  your fault. You are  –  the strong  –  est woman  –  I know."

I look up and see Nash looking into my eyes. "Nash?" I stand so fast, I knock the chair over behind me and start to turn but stop and look back at him. I lean down and kiss his dry lips and smile. Releasing his hand, I run out of the room and look at Manuel. "Tell the nurse, the doctor  –  hell, tell everyone! Nash is awake!" I run back into the room and stop abruptly at his bed, my heart almost choking me with its fast beating. His eyes are closed. No! I close my eyes and say a prayer.





Lord, I know I haven't been the best. Probably lost track of how many times I've sinned. Sorry! But see this man? He's my heart. And well, you probably already know, but he's a good man. Without him, I'm nothing. Can you please spare him? You can have me instead. I'll do whatever you want. I'll go to church! Just please, please don't take him from me.





"I see your lips movin'...." I open my eyes. "But I can't  –  hear ya. Did I lose my  –  hearin' in the crash?" His voice doesn't sound like his. Gruff, hoarse, and it looks like it's taking him a lot of effort to talk.

I throw my arms around him, laying my head on his chest and feel him wince. "No! You didn't." I look up and kiss his jaw, tenderly, careful of the bruises as his hand cups the back of my head. For someone who should be really weak, escaping a near fatal crash, he's sure strong. He moves my head over until my mouth is on his. He moans and at first I think I'm hurting him by practically lying on top of him until his tongue slides into my mouth. Well, he's certainly not bad enough for some foreplay. I hear coughing and turn my head, my lips still pressed against his.



       
         
       
        



 "Good to see you awake, Nash." Dr. Franklin's standing at the foot of the bed, smiling.

"Good to be awake, Doc." Nash's voice is so hoarse, weak.

Dr. Franklin picks up the electronic chart at the foot of the bed, studying it. I look at Nash and smile, so thankful he's awake, even though his left eye is halfway closed, swollen, his skin black and blue around it. "You gave us quite a scare," Dr. Franklin tells Nash but looks at me too. "There's gonna be a bit of recovery but you just keep getting rest and let the healing begin. You'll be stronger in no time. I think we'll be keeping you for a few days." He raises a brow but smiles. "You get some rest and as your breathing improves, we'll put you in a better room and out of ICU." He winks and leans down, patting his leg.

"Thanks, Doc." Nash closes his eyes, clearly exhausted from just the short exertion.

"Um, Dr. Franklin? May I talk to you for a minute?" I start to get up when Nash grabs my hand. I look down at him, his eyes barely open, and smile. "I promise I'll be right back. I'll just be right outside the door."

"Okay." He swallows, taking shallow breaths. "But I've been without you for  –  too long."

I lean down and kiss him, gently. "You'll never be without me again. I'll be right back." I kiss him again. His hand falls to his lap as I stand and walk outside the room. "Okay. Tell me the truth," I say to the doctor, crossing my arms over my chest.

"The truth? I'm not sure what you mean."

"Is he going to be okay? Truly?"

He smiles. "Yes. Truly. Although his injuries are severe, preferably his collapsed lung and fractures, he'll be fine. He needs lots of rest and no exertion so he can properly heal. Once his lung continues to get strong and he can breathe on his own, we'll move him out of ICU and to a bigger room. Visitors now must be limited to two people at a time and for small amounts of time. Rest is the best medicine." He pulls his phone from his jacket pocket and looks at the screen then at me. "Of course he'll wear the cast on his arm for about six weeks and his bruises and swelling should heal fairly quickly." He puts his hand on my shoulder and I drop my arms to my side. "He's extremely lucky to be alive." I nod slowly.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Tina!" As the doctor walks off I turn my head and see Sadie jogging down the short hallway. "I got here as fast as I could," she says, breathing heavy while wrapping her arms around me. "God! Is he okay?" I nod against her shoulder. She moves back but grabs my hands, holding them tightly. The tears I'd held back while in his presence run steadily down my face. She pulls me back into a hug and then keeping her arms around me, we begin walking down the hall. 



 I look at her, my eyes wide. "I don't want to go far."

"I'll go in and sit with him." I hear Manuel and turn my head his way. "I'll let him know you're close." I nod and mouth "thank you" to him. He smiles and I watch as he limps into the room using his cane.

Sadie and I continue to walk slowly down the hall, her arm squeezing my shoulder. "Let it out, Tina. It's just you and me now." I start sobbing, burying my face into her shoulder, and we stop.