Back To Country (Country Love #4)(38)

"Well...." Both our heads turn as Sadie walks into the room. She sits down next to me with a ton of worry and concern in her eyes. "She's on her way to her parents' house." Fuck! "Of course I'm sure you already know she's very hurt and upset." I nod, havin' no doubt of that. "Nash." She picks up my hand and squeezes. "I tried to explain but she won't listen. She's too hurt right now. Give her a little time then go to her. Fight like hell. She needs reassurance that you truly love her." She looks down at our hands then back up at me. "She's lived her entire life thinking no one loves her. Her parents saw to that. Then, I didn't help much in my younger wilder days. She was always there for me. I felt like a terrible friend." I see tears fill her eyes, my heart hurtin' worse. "But Nash." She squeezes my hand again and smiles. "Ever since she first saw you, her eyes lit up. She's always been so shy with guys but overcame that  –  for you. I know she's in love with you and for the first time in her life, she's felt love. Don't let her let go of that."



 I stand ready for the fight of my life. "Give me her parents address, please. I aim to go get my girl." Sadie smiles while she stands and walks over to their built-in desk in the corner, writing on a piece of paper. She brings it over and hands it to me. "Thank ya."

Leanin' up, she kisses my cheek. "I know you're anxious but be in your right mind when you get there. Won't be easy getting her to see, making her understand what she saw and felt. I know right now she's feeling like the only one who she's truly loved and felt love from broke her heart. She's feeling like another person who she thought loved her took that away, just like all the other times in her life. She's climbed back into her shell, unsure of herself, her worth. Show her she's loved, Nash. Show her she's the strong, funny, wonderful woman she really is." 

I nod curtly. "I aim to do that and more, Sadie. That part won't be hard to do. It's how I feel. I just hate that I hurt her, made her feel that way. Sadie. I need to get her back. I  –  I want to marry her, have kids with her. I want to shower her with everythin' she deserves. She'll never be alone again. Never feel unloved, ever. Not as long as I get her back. Not as long as I'm breathin'."

"Go get her." Memphis smiles and winks.

They walk me to their front door. I open it, ready to go home and pack a bag and hit the road. "Nash?" I turn around as I step out onto the porch. "Be careful driving. Will you keep me updated, please? I'm worried about her especially being at home with her parents."

I nod. "Thank ya. I sure will. And Sadie...?" She smiles. "Thank ya so much for your help. You too, Memphis. Thanks for the talk." Sadie nods eagerly while Memphis gives me a nod.

Gettin' in my truck, I head the short distance to my house. I'll fill Manuel and the guys in, pack an overnight bag, get enough cash outta my safe, and stop and get gas on the way outta town. I know I'll be askin' a lot of the guys, them havin' to take care of everythin' around here while I'm gone. It's a lot to ask, I know. They've all always been there for me but I've tried to always be there for them too. Helpin' Manuel after his accident wasn't enough to come close to repayin' him for all he's done for me. Bart fell off that ladder once, breakin' his leg and arm. Luis got into some tight spots when he was younger, even had to bail him outta jail a few times. There's countless things but what they've all given me doesn't compare. My phone rings as I pull into my driveway, my heart racin' in hope that it's her. "Hello?"

"Nash. Trevor said you called. Did you find Tina? What's going on?" Prie's voice sounds frantic. Never meant to get her all worked up. She doesn't need that.

"Did Trevor wake you? Didn't want him to," I reply quickly.



 "No! Had to go to the bathroom but since I was up, he told me you called. Is Tina okay?" Damn, don't need to be worryin' her.



"I hope?" Okay, that doesn't sound any better. "Look. We just had a small fight is all. Things will be okay. You go back to sleep and don't worry." I try to make light of it, tryin' to keep my voice steady and sure.

"What the hell, Nash? Don't lie to me. Something's happened. I can hear it in your voice." So much for hidin' my feelings.

"Look. I'm gonna be away for a bit. I...."

"She's left, hasn't she? You're going after her." Damn! She's too smart for her own good. "Will you just let me know? Keep me updated. Please?"

I nod, like she can see me. "Yeah. But do me a favor? Don't get all riled up. You need to keep your blood pressure down and not get all upset. Will you do that for me? For the baby?"

I hear her breathe out a sigh. "Yeah, as long as you keep me updated. Deal?" I hear a smile in her voice.



       
         
       
        

"Deal." I stop my truck and turn it off, gettin' out quickly and walkin' to the porch steps. "I gotta go. Take care of yourself and that niece or nephew of mine. Kay?"

She agrees, lettin' out a small laugh. I end the call and walk into the front door, almost trippin' over a duffle bag on the floor. "What the?" Manuel and all the guys are standin' there, well, Manuel is sittin' down in his old wheelchair. "What's this?'

Bart walks up to me and pats my back. "We knew you'd be goin' after her. Expected it. So, we packed for ya." He winks.

"Well, I...." I run my hand over my head underneath my hat.

"Go, Mijo. Just drive safe." Manuel pushes himself over to me.

"Yeah. We got everythin' handled here, Nash. No need to worry." Luis steps up and the rest of the guys all nod.

Leanin' down, I pick up the bag, tryin' to hold back my tears. "Ya'll are the best." I look at each of them. "I hope I won't be gone too long."

"Just go get Miss Tina and bring her back where she belongs." Manuel winks.

"I aim to do just that."

I get back into my truck and start down my long drive, thinkin' about what I'll do when I get to her parents' house. Never met them. Was never sure I really wanted to. Thought I might get too angry, knowin' how badly they treated Tina all her life. But now, I'll do anythin' to get her back. Anythin'.





  Chapter Eighteen





Tina

Never let it be said that driving a long way and having so much time to think is ever a good thing. When I'd left Nash's house, all I felt was anger and betrayal. I wanted to see Nash, yell at him for breaking my heart. Then I wanted to throw my arms around him and plead for him not to leave me, not to let me go. By the time I got to my apartment and started packing up my car, I wanted to scream. How many times can I be such an idiot? Will I ever learn? No one wants me! No one cares! What's it gonna take for me to understand that? I never want be with a guy again. Never want to even see one, especially a cowboy! I might have to sell my half of the shop to Sadie. I don't think I could ever look at anyone in that town again.

Then as I started the long drive home to my parents, I thought about Sadie and Memphis, and their twins. Why can't I find love like that? I feel like I'll never get that chance, never have kids. I'll be an old spinster and have a hundred cats. I'll be known as the cat lady. I feel a tear slide down my cheek, my vision becoming blurry. I wipe it away angrily. I will not cry anymore. Dammit! Besides, I need to be able to see the road. God! I never thought I'd go back home. Well, not really home but to the house I grew up in. I hated every minute there. If I had the money, I'd find somewhere else to live, start over. But for what? More disappointment? 

God, I loved him! Still do. How can my heart just flip a switch? I wouldn't know but I can't imagine it would work that way. That bitch stood at his front door, waving that ring around like it had always been there. How could I have been so wrong about him? I know I'm not the smartest crayon in the box but I know what I felt, how he made me feel. How could all of that be a lie? God! I'm so confused. Hurt. Putting my hand over my heart that's beating its way out of my chest more tears fall. I don't think I've ever hurt this much, never felt this much pain. Can you die from a broken heart?

And now  –  now I'm going home with my tail tucked between my legs to the one place I'd swore I'd never return. Dad will gloat. Mom will expect me to do everything she asks. I see frilly dresses and the country club in my future. A lot. She'll make me crazy wanting me to call her "Mother". "UGH!" I scream and you know what? It felt good. So periodically for the next hour that's exactly what I do. Scream at the top of my lungs.

My phone rings. I'm afraid to look. Nash has been blowing up my phone. I look at the dash and the built-in Bluetooth and Sadie's name appears on the screen. I'm relieved but I hesitate, unsure I can talk about this, even with my best friend. Finally, I press the button on the steering wheel.

"Oh, thank God! Tina? Oh, Tina. Please, talk to me." Tears stream down my face when I hear her voice.

"I...." I bite my lip, tasting the wetness of my tears. "I hurt so badly, Sadie."



 "Honey, it's all a big misunderstanding. Really, Nash...."

"Please. Stop. I can't bear to hear his name. I can't  –  I can't deal with this right now, Sadie. Please understand."