Attach ments(54)

“Maybe I should sit down,” he said.

Emilie stood up, and he sat in her chair. It was set so high, her feet must not touch the ground. She was standing behind him now, and they were practically the same height. Against his will, Lincoln thought of Sam. Sam, so small he could pick her up with one arm. Sam, curled up next to him at the drive-in. Sam, slow dancing with her cheek on the third button of his shirt.

“There,” he said to Emilie, “you’re in. That shouldn’t happen again. But give me a call if it does.

Or …I guess you know where to find me. Did you say someone else was having problems?”

Lincoln helped two more copy editors get on the network. When he walked away, Emilie was standing by a printer. She was pretty, in a pale, unassuming way.

“Hey,” she said, “Lincoln.”

He stopped.

“We usually eat around now,” she said, “at our desks. On Fridays, we order pizza. You should come up and hang out. I mean, not that you wouldn’t want to eat with Doris. She’s really nice.”

“Sure,” Lincoln said, imagining himself hanging out upstairs, then glancing nervously at the back of the newsroom. “Thanks.”





From: Beth Fremont

To: Jennifer Scribner-Snyder

Sent: Fri, 12/03/1999 1:35 PM

Subject: Short people got no reason to live.

Why are tall guys always attracted to short women? Not just moderately short women, either …

Tiny women. Polly Pockets. The tallest guys always-always-always go for the shortest girls. Always.

It’s like they’re so infatuated with their own height that they want to be with someone who makes them feel even taller. Someone they can tower over. A little doll that will make them feel even bigger and stronger.

Whenever I see a really tall guy with a really short girl, I always want to take him aside and say, “You realize your sons will never play basketball, right?”

It wouldn’t be so bad if short guys were incredibly attracted to tall women. But they’re not. They don’t want anything to do with us.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> Is this about Chris? Is he two-timing you with Holly Hunter?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> Holly Hunter?

<<Jennifer to Beth>> That’s the only short woman I could think of. How about Rhea Perlman?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> “Two-timing”? Who says “two-timing”?

<<Jennifer to Beth>> Don’t turn on me. I’m not the one who’s seeing Crystal Gayle on the side.

<<Beth to Jennifer>> Crystal Gayle isn’t short.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> Isn’t that why her hair looks so long?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> I’m not talking about Chris. Chris isn’t interested in anyone, including me.

I’m talking about My Cute Guy.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> The Brawny Man? He’s cheating on you with Mary Lou Retton?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> Worse. I saw him talking to that Emilie on the nightside desk.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> The little blond one?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> That’s her, all right.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> She’s not just short. She’s like a normal-size person who’s been miniaturized so that everything about her is still in perfect proportion. She’s like something you’d find in an elaborate dollhouse, so tiny and yet so lifelike.

Have you ever noticed her waist? It’s infinitesimal.

<<Beth to Jennifer>> I could put my hands around her waist. If standing next to her makes me feel strong andmasculine, she must make My Cute Guy feel like a god.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> She’s Lilliputian.

<<Beth to Jennifer>> They wouldn’t let her ride Splash Mountain.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> You know what I don’t like about her? The way she spells her name with an “ie.” Everyone knows that Emily is spelled “Emily.” It’s not cute to spell it with an “ie.” It doesn’t make you unique. It doesn’t set you apart from all the other Emilys in the world. It’s pointlessly confusing.

<<Beth to Jennifer>> Her parents probably thought it was cute. That’s not really her fault.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> Oh, right, not like her tiny, little, perfect body.

When did you see them together?

<<Beth to Jennifer>> Last night. I finished up a review, and I went over to the copy desk to tell the editors to have at it. And there they were. Talking. In front of God and everyone.

<<Jennifer to Beth>> Maybe they were talking about work.

<<Beth to Jennifer>> What work? He’s not on the copy desk. What the hell does he do? I don’t think it’s advertising—he wears cargo pants. Who else has to work at night? Maybe he’s security. Or a janitor.