Ash(21)

One of those tears slid down her cheek. Shit, this was heartbreaking. Carter was almost as big an asshole as Army dude. Who left a woman he loved, even if she was pregnant with another guy’s baby? It wasn’t like she cheated on him or anything.

“He’s probably dead,” I stated.

But my mother shook her head, her blond hair rippling in the firelights. “No.”

She said that with such surety. There was definitely something else she wasn’t telling me. Before I could press her harder, she reached forward and tucked a chunk of my hair behind my ear. For a second the closeness between us and the distinct and delicious smell of her blood distracted me. She pressed that same hand to my cheek, and I knew she was about to drop something else big on me.

“Carter is not dead. Every year on Christmas, since your birth, I get ten thousand dollars wired to my bank account.”

I blinked a few times, trying to remember if there had ever been any indication of these secrets that littered my mom’s life. How could you know and love a person so much, and yet not really know them at all?

“Forgive me for not telling you all of this,” she choked out.

“Mom, of course I forgive you. It’s okay.” Yeah, it wasn’t really okay, she’d kind of effed-up my world, but there was no point mentioning that now. The past couldn’t be changed and I would never stop loving her. We hugged for a long time before I finally pulled away. She looked into my eyes and chuckled.

“You have his eyes now. The crazy dancing green-silver.”

That was interesting. I was already curious about the difference in my eyes to the other ash, so much more silver. And she was right, this weird dancing green, like an arc of electricity, zagged through it.

My mom leaned in very close. “We could run away. I could give you blood. I don’t want you going through the culling.”

My heart pinched at her words, her so very tempting words. But I knew there was no way. I needed blood six times a day. Not to mention my crazy eyes. Humans would flip the hell out and my mom would die of blood loss. “Mom, that’s sweet, but I don’t think we would last very long on the run.”

I had already scoped the plump throbbing vein in her neck more than once. My mom sighed. “Well, this Lucas person seems to care about you. He sought me out and snuck me in here to see you.” She raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you could use your female gifts to make sure he takes care of you.”

Oh my God. She did not just said that. “Female gifts? Are you whoring me out?”

She laughed, and just like that some of the heavy emotional stuff lifted and we were back to making jokes. “I’m saying he’s in a place of power and you’re a good looking young lady.”

I plugged my ears. “La la la. Oh my God, Mom.”

She shrugged. “That’s all I got. Those were the only two plans I had.” Her voice shook.

I sat up straighter and grasped her hands in a strong grip. “Well, I have a plan.”

She looked hopeful.

“I’m going to get some big, buff, scary looking ash to teach me how to be a badass, murdering fighter, and I’m going to survive the culling with my own two hands.”

My mom smiled weakly as if she didn’t believe that was possible. Great. Team Charlie, party of one. A knock at the door jarred us from the moment. The stone barrier swung open. Red was back. Her graceful catlike poise had me instinctively leaning in front of my mother in a protective gesture. Home-girl looked ready to pounce at any moment.

“Number forty-six, your time is up. The human must leave the Hive now. No more visitors until after the culling, when you have earned the right, like everyone else.” She practically spat out the last words.

My mother and I shared a look. Bitch. And the next person to call me number forty-six was getting a fat lip.

I hugged my mom and took one last sniff of her lilac and spearmint scent. If I closed my eyes I could almost pretend for a moment I was back home. Then, with my heart heavy and my eyes aching, I stood and followed Red. I turned back to meet my mom’s eyes one more time, as another vampire appeared out of nowhere to escort her away.

I struggled to get my emotions under control the entire time I followed Red. Vamp-bitch dropped me back off at the double doors on level eight, the training room. The only sound in the space was her high heels clicking off back down the hallway. I took a moment to gather myself, to focus.

Training. Right. I was going to train to fight for my life. Everything about this felt wrong. One moment I was an upstanding human citizen and the next I was being booted to bloodsucker-ville to fend for my life. Effed up. Well, maybe I wasn’t exactly upstanding, but I wasn’t a complete drain on society. Now I felt discarded. Where the hell were the police? Couldn’t I call 911 and get bailed out of this? Hah! Yeah right. I was infected, no one wanted me.