Ash(20)

“Mom!” I threw myself at her, forgetting for a moment that she was much more breakable than I was.

She held me tightly, no hesitation in her grip. It was the same as it had always been. Unconditional love.

She still smelled like lilac and spearmint, her favorite gum flavor, and despite the fact that I had to push down my urges when I was this close to her neck, I managed to control my desires and just enjoy having my mom here.

I pulled back, and we both sank into one of the large chairs. I rested against the heavy wooden back, which was intricately carved with an array of roses, that towered high into the air.

“How are you here?” I couldn’t tear my eyes from her, a little slice of normal in the last few crazy days of my life. I had no idea how much I needed this. Seeing Tessa was one thing, but my mom was everything.

“I needed to speak with you, sweetheart.” Her face was serious; I didn’t like it. “I have to explain why I never spoke to you of this. But I didn’t want you blindsided during the culling.” Her voice wavered a little on that, but she plowed ahead. “You never were very interested in this world, no matter how many times I tried to broach it with you. There are so many things you don’t know, but the first one is that I never married the man in the war photo, John. He was just a boyfriend, and for a long time I thought he was your true father because girl ash don’t exist.”

I leaned forward in my chair, wondering where this story was going.

“I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but John was an alcoholic, and abusive.” She looked down timidly at her hands.

Oh hell no. With that one sentence, part of my world and soul came crashing down. That asshole in the photo that I had always adored and loved had hurt my mother.

She went on: “When he was deployed in the war I thought it was a good clean break-away for us. I would write him a letter and end things. We were intimate the night before he left, and afterwards he hit me again. This time there was no alcohol. This time his excuses fell on deaf ears. I was done with being a victim.”

Okay, TMI. But still, go mom.

“The next day he was deployed and it was the perfect time to make the break. I felt so free, so glad to be out of that destructive relationship. Of course, in an ironic twist of fate, it was that very night I almost lost my life and all sense of freedom with it.” Her brows drew together, a shine of tears at the memory glistened in her brown eyes. “On my way home from class I was attacked by a rogue vampire. Rogues were a little more common back then. The enforcers weren’t quite as concerned about public opinion.”

Even though all of this had happened a long time ago, my breath still caught in my throat. How was she still alive?

“What happened?”

Those brown eyes softened then, as if some wonderful memory had superseded the horror of her attack. “Carter happened. He came out of nowhere and saved me. He fought the vampire, and despite killing him, ended up quite injured himself.” She brushed back her mess of hair. “I couldn’t leave him like that, no matter what the rules said, so I took him home and patched him up.”

Mom was a nurse, and would never ignore the plea of an injured person. What was she talking about rules though?

“Carter was so different than any man I ever knew. He was gentle with me. Caring.”

Shit, I was starting to see where this was going.

She finished in her soft voice. “That night, passion was high, and, well, you know how these things go.”

TMI times two. Thanks, Mom.

“Carter and I were inseparable for the next few days, and I realized that for the first time I was in love. We’d already broken so many rules. What was one more?”

The pieces sort of came together for me then. What human could have fought off a vampire and just ended up injured? None. So that meant…

“Mom, are you saying…?”

She nodded. “Carter was a vampire.”

Holy shit. Holy, holy shit. Well, at least I knew my father wasn’t Lucas. ‘Cause that would have been whacked out.

I heard a sniffle and knew this story hadn’t been easy for my mom to share with me. But I was really glad she had. I reached for her hand.

“It’s okay. I’m so sorry you were with the Army asshole. I’m actually more grateful to know that my father is a vampire than an abusive drunk.”

Tears sparkled in her eyes.

“When I fell pregnant, I wasn’t sure whose it was. Carter wasn’t able to visit me often. He said some internal politics were shaking up the Hive and he might need to go into hiding. He was special in the vampire world but he never told me why. Then I found out it was a girl and I knew you were John’s daughter. I told Carter and he promised to be around either way, but then one day … I never heard from him again. Days after this, I got a letter from the Army saying John died in battle and, well … I knew that it was just going to be you and me.”