As Sure as the Dawn(24)
“He’s a man, Lagos. Like you. Like any other.”
Lagos gave a nervous laugh. “Not like me, and not like any man I’ve ever known. He’s a barbarian gladiator, and believe me, Lady Rizpah, that’s as close to an animal as you can get.”
They both heard Atretes’ footsteps. Rizpah put her hand protectively on Caleb; Lagos went to the archway and greeted his master. “Would you like your meal served, my lord?”
Atretes looked across the room at her. “Are you hungry?” he said dryly.
“Not very.” In truth, she wasn’t hungry at all. Lagos’ words had destroyed what little appetite she’d had.
“Bring wine,” Atretes said, dismissing Lagos.
Feeling his gaze on her, Rizpah took up Caleb and held him close, comforted by the warmth of his small body.
Atretes looked at the way she held his son cradled tenderly on her thighs. “It’s occurred to me that I know very little about you,” he said, reclining on the couch opposite her and studying her face.
Even when he relaxed, Rizpah sensed the alertness about him.
“What happened to your husband?”
Surprised and dismayed by the question, she said, “He died.”
“I know he died,” Atretes said with a cold laugh. “You wouldn’t be a widow had he not. What I want to know is how he died.”
She looked down at Caleb’s precious face, stilling the pain rising inside her. Why must he ask about such things? “My husband was struck down by a chariot,” she said softly.
“Did you see it happen?”
“No. He was on his way to work. Friends brought him home.”
“He didn’t die right away?”
“He died a few days later.” The memory of those days was still deeply etched into her heart.
Atretes looked at her pale profile and was silent a moment. Clearly these memories were painful to her. Or was it pretense? Lagos brought in a pitcher of wine. “Leave,” Atretes said tersely. Lagos set the tray down quickly and departed. Atretes continued staring at Rizpah. He sensed he had probed open wounds. “Did you ever find out who was driving the chariot?”
“I knew on the day it happened. The man was a Roman official.”
“I wager he didn’t even stop.”
“No, he didn’t.”
Atretes’ mouth curved slightly. “It seems we share a common hatred of Romans.”
His observation caused swift remorse. “I don’t hate anyone.”
“Don’t you?”
She paled, wondering. Hadn’t she overcome her feelings about what had happened? Was she still harboring anger against the man who carelessly cost the life of a man for whom she cared deeply. Lord, if it be so, cleanse me of it. Search me and change my heart, Father. “It’s not the Lord’s will that I hate anyone.”
“The Lord?”
“Jesus, the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”
“Hadassah’s god.”
“Yes.”
“We will not talk of him,” he said, dismissing past, present, and future on the subject as he rose from the couch. He poured wine into a silver goblet. A second goblet was on the tray, but he offered her nothing.
“It’s the one thing I would wish to talk about with you,” she said quietly.
He slammed the pitcher down so hard she jumped. Caleb awakened and started to cry.
“Pacify him!”
She lifted Caleb to her shoulder and rubbed his back. He cried harder.
“Make him stop crying!”
She rose, distressed. “May I have your permission to leave the room?”
“No!”
“He’ll go back to sleep if I nurse him.”
“Then do so!”
“I can’t! Not with you staring at me!”
He glared at her from across the couches. “You bared your breast for him in the kitchen four nights ago.”
Heat flooded her face. “The circumstances were different,” she said tightly. Besides, she had been covered, her back to him.
“How so? He was screaming then and he’s screaming now!”
“Stop shouting!” She was immediately ashamed of her outburst. The wretched man brought out the worst in her! Apology sticking in her throat, she paced on one side of the room. She was so angry she was sure her milk was curdling into lumps of cheese. Caleb screamed louder.
Atretes paced on the other side of the room, his face rigid as he glared at her. “By the gods, woman. Sit down and give him what he wants!”
Shaking with frustration, Rizpah plunked down. Presenting her back to Atretes, she set about tending the baby. The shawl was wrapped around Caleb and she needed it to drape over herself for modesty. Her hands shook as she removed it.