All or Nothing at All(111)

Cursing her weak heart, she nodded and reached out her hand.

One last time.

He led her into the main banquet room, which had been transformed. Dozens of candelabras and flowers spilled through the space, creating an intimate atmosphere that wrapped tight around them. A table with blinding-white linens and sparkling crystal was set in the center. The sensual sounds of Frank Sinatra played softly on the speakers, reminding them of love gone wrong and second chances. He pulled out her chair and invited her to sit, handing her a glass of red wine.




 

 

Her hand trembled as she sipped. She stared at him in the flickering light.

And realized she couldn't do it.

She loved him too much to spend an evening with him in such intimacy. Blinking furiously, she shook her head and took a step away from him. "I can't do this. I can't pretend to have this perfect evening with you when it's all a lie."

"I know."

"You have to let me go, Tristan." She promised it would be the last time she ever begged him for anything. "Let me go."

His eyes filled with raw pain and grief. He closed the distance between them and cupped her cheeks, tilting her head upward to meet his blistering gaze. "I can't."

"Why?" she choked out.

"Because I love you."

She stiffened. "Don't do this. Not now. Not like this."

In shock, she watched those beautiful golden eyes fill up with unshed tears. "I'm asking you to listen to me one more time, Sydney. I need to say this, and you deserve to hear the truth. Please."

He dropped his hands and took a step back, waiting. Allowing her to reject him or leave. Giving her the choice.

Frozen in place, she managed another nod.

"I found Becca's original birth certificate today," he said. "You had me listed as the father all along. I realized then you had always planned to tell me I was Becca's father, even back when you got married."

Sadness overtook her. She was glad he'd finally realized her true intentions and might have some measure of peace. She also knew his knowledge didn't change anything between them.

"I've been thinking a lot about our past. Over and over, I sifted through our interactions, defending myself for my choices. Thinking about how you hurt me. I'm pretty good at taking care of me, Syd. Always have been. You've been with me for so long, I never questioned your feelings for me. Whether it was friendship or love or passion or support, you gave it all freely, without taking. And I gave you sex."

His face crumpled in self-disgust. Sydney wrapped her arms around her trembling body.

"Sex. I thought it was enough. And when I came back because I was lonely and missing you, I felt betrayed when you'd decided to go on with your life. Even then, I felt as if you belonged to me. But it wasn't in the right way. It wasn't about protecting you or wanting to see you happy. It was about you making me happy. And I'm going to have to live with that. Knowing how I failed both you and my mother."

She pressed her lips together to keep from interrupting. Before her, she watched the protective walls crash down, finally showing her the man inside, the man she'd always longed for, the man she loved. 

"I took you for granted my entire life. I made excuses to force you into this marriage that had nothing to do with Becca and everything to do with me. Because I always knew, deep inside, that you are the woman who can save me. It was only with you I felt complete and whole and happy. And I destroyed that by constantly taking and never giving."

Slowly he knelt in front of her. Stunned, she watched the man she loved humble himself before her. A tear trekked down his cheek, but he looked her straight in the eye and never faltered.

"I don't deserve you. I never did. But I'm asking if you will give me one more chance to show you every day how much I love you. To give you every part of me-good and bad-and be your husband, your partner, your everything. I swear to you, my love, I will give you my all for the rest of my life. You will never doubt my love for you again." He reached into his pocket with trembling hands and took out a ring box. It was a new ring-three sparkling diamonds lay against the black velvet. "I'm asking you to marry me, Sydney. For the right reasons. Because I love you. Because every road in my life has always led to you."

Sydney stared at him on bended knee, golden eyes filled with a raw vulnerability and naked love she'd never seen before. Choking back a sob, she stepped forward and reached out her hand. Entangling his fingers with hers, he rose, and she reached out to trace the tear on his cheek, pressing her forehead against his.

"Yes," she breathed against his lips. "Yes to everything."

His mouth closed over hers, and he kissed her deeply, with a reverence that shook her to the core, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.