Alexia Eden(118)
“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t control myself and I needed to make sure she knew who she belonged to. I never wanted to hurt her but once I started I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stand the thought of our girls lips on other men. I hate myself, please Drake, please get her to forgive me…” Sebastian cries.
I continue to sob as I lean forward with my elbows on my knees and my hands covering my face, I'm not sure where Lexi is at this point. I feel a soft touch on my back and I turn to see Lexi rubbing my back in a comforting way. My girl is so sweet, she can barely walk from the pain I’ve caused her yet she is trying to comfort me? She is too good for me and she deserves so much better.
As I look at her sad face she quickly removes her hand away from my back and moves away from me on the bed.
“Lexi…please don’t hate me…I love you…I love you so much…I’m so sorry, I fucked up again.” I say as I wipe away the tears and move closer to her but she moves away from me so that she is now sitting in the middle of the bed up against the head board. Her legs are folded with her arms crossed over holding them together with her face between her knees as she continues to mumble the same thing over and over and shivers with fear.
“I love him. I deserve everything I got for betraying him …”
ALEXIA POV
I love him. I deserve everything I got for betraying him….
He sat there on my bed looking so fragile crying, I watch him and I try to convince myself to stay away from him but I know this is my Drake and not Sebastian and in the end my feelings for Drake get the better of me.
I tip toe and climb on the bed behind him as I find the courage to touch him. After three failed attempts at putting my hand on his back I finally do it, he immediately looks over at me with his red face and I see those beautiful hazel eyes of his. I quickly move away from him remembering how black they were last night and what he did to me…that wasn’t my Drake…my Drake wasn’t strong enough to keep his wolf from hurting me.
“No Lex, you don’t deserve any of what I did. You deserve better than me. Please don’t hate me my Lex…please don’t.” Drake begs me. I remove my hand from him and back away I’m up against the head board. I wrap my arms around my legs and hide my face as I repeat the words his wolf said last night. I’m so scared of him but I can't seem to move my legs to run away. I feel him gently run his hands over my wet hair then he pulls my aching body into his big warm arms.
I want to hate him so much for what he did to me, I want to shout and scream at him and make him feel like shit but I can’t…I love Drake too much to ever want to harm him.
I wrap my arms around his broad waist as he holds my head gently to his chest with his mouth in the crook of my neck, he inhales my scent.
“I don’t hate you Drake…I… I wish I did though.” I whisper into his chest knowing that he hears me. I feel his body tremble as he cries with his head in the crook of my neck. I can feel the droplets of his tears running down my neck, I lift my head onto his shoulder as I look out the window at the beautiful full moon that can be seen from where I'm sitting, I think about the twins.
Are they seeing the same beautiful moon I am? Are they thinking about me? Will they ever hurt me like Drake has? I wish I was with them now…they could make me feel better but I can never be with them. Drake will kill them and destroy everything I love.
As Drake holds me tight in his warm embrace I give in to his warmth and protectiveness but inside I really just want to thrash loose out of his grasp and run until I find a quiet corner to hide where no one will find me.
I feel Drake letting go, I gently move away from him as he opens the sheets for the bed, trying to avoid his touch I quickly climb in bed so he hasn’t got a reason to touch me or help me in.
I noticed my bed has been made with new linen and it smells fresh and clean so I know he must have changed the bedding. Under different circumstances I would have thought the gesture was sweet but in reality I know the only reason he changed it was because he couldn’t stand to be reminded of what he did to me.
By covering all the evidence it may put him at ease but I’ll always know what’s beneath these covers, it will always be tainted… damaged…disgraced and never the way it was before. No matter how hard I try to forget…I will always remember how he destroyed me.
I roll over so I can look at my favorite view, the view that reminds me that there are still beautiful things out there…things that haven’t been destroyed by man.
Drake is behind me and I can feel his body inching closer to mine. He comes right up behind me and I wince as his abdomen is against my ass. My lower body is still aching from the violence he inflicted last night…so wild and animalistic. It was so unlike the gentle way Drake usually touches me when he’s intimate. I cringe at the memory.