After the Affair(35)

For her part, Cassie was totally shattered. Had she been so wrong? 'Don't...don't you want to make love to me, Dan?' she managed to choke out, feeling more wretchedly vulnerable than she ever had in her life. She had bared her heart to him, given up her defences...

He turned with grinding slowness to face her, his expression bitter. 'You know I do. But not like this. Not to get it over with because...' His hands lifted and fell in a helpless, tormented frustration. 'I don't want you as some sort of maternal sacrifice, Cassie. When I take you to bed, I want you to want me—as a woman wants a man.'

The searing need in his voice forced Cassie to answer with her own. 'I do want you, Dan.'

He made a harsh, guttural sound.

'I do!' she insisted vehemently, taking a tentative step towards him as she searched desperately for words to convince him. The truth now— nothing but the truth would bridge this terrible chasm of misunderstanding. 'I...I wanted you last night, too...'

Disbelief shot into his black gaze. 'You shrank away from me last night, Cassie,' he accused. 'I didn't imagine that. You hated my touching you. God knows, you warned me...that you'd despise me for it...but...'

She came another step closer. 'No! You misunderstood.' Her voice was urgent, frantic. 'Perhaps at first... I wanted to hate you because I... Oh, Dan, don't you see? When you kept touching me, in the end I couldn't help myself. I...' The words trailed away as she saw his mouth twist with bitter distaste.

'Couldn't help yourself, Cassie? God, you don't leave a man much pride, do you? Telling me that you're so starved of sex that you'd even tolerate a partner you despise in order to gain satisfaction.'

'That's not what I meant!' she cried. With mounting horror, Cassie began to see what she had wrought with her own stupidly proud words that night in the library—her crazed defiance of his accusations—and all because she had wanted him—only him! 'I don't despise you, Dan, I...' She stopped, realising suddenly and shockingly that if she said she loved him, he wouldn't believe her.

'You what? Love me?' He gave a brutal little laugh. 'I'm not a dreamer, Cassie. I've had to face too many harsh realities in my life, and one more is that underneath all your brave little gestures you detest me! Don't bother denying it. I've seen it often enough in your eyes.' One hand shot out to clasp her chin. He lifted her face with cruel fingers. 'You have very expressive eyes, Cassie,' he ground out. 'They don't lie...'

His own eyes darkened and narrowed, frightening her for a moment. Then suddenly his hand gentled, his expression becoming heart-meltingly tender. 'Lovely eyes,' he murmured thickly.

'Lovely eyes... Lovely mouth. . His thumb rubbed over her lips. 'Lovely body...' His hands grazed down over her breasts.

He shut his eyes and groaned. His anguish tore at her heart, compelling her to comfort him. Quite instinctively she wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him to her. 'Oh, Dan...don't... Please, don't... You must listen to me ‑'

'Listen to what now?' he snarled, pulling back from her. 'More lies?'

Cassie gazed up at him.

His eyes were open, and the hardness had returned.

'I don't want to listen any more,' he grated out. 'I'm tired of it all. So tired... Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I should stop fighting myself and just take what you keep offering. Maybe all we'll ever have together is this!'

She had no time to say anything before he jerked her back into his arms, bending his mouth to hers, obliterating the light, obliterating the world, obliterating everything but Cassie's awareness of him, his mouth, his arms, every inch of his body. And after a while it didn't seem to matter if he took her in anger. So long as he took her!

With a low moan she gave herself up to the lips that were devouring hers, to the hands that even now were moulding her body to his with such devastating intimacy. His tongue plunged deep in her mouth again and again till the thudding in her temples reached a blinding crescendo.

Finally she had to gasp away to catch her breath.

'No!' he growled, cupping her face with brutal hands, glowering down at her with those hot, black pools. 'Don't do that... You asked for this, and you will do it my way... Give me your mouth... Breathe my breath if you have to...I want some part of you joined to me while I undress you...'

The erotic power of Dan's words blasted a searing heat into Cassie's body. Her cheeks flamed. Her limbs melted.

'Open your mouth, Cassie,' he ordered thickly, groaning when she offered her parted lips once more.

She knew that with her silent submission to his request she had surrendered more to him than her mouth. More than her body. This was what he had once vowed he'd wanted. Her very soul! But she no longer cared. Let him do with her as he willed.

His hands were on her clothes, undoing the buttons on her jumpsuit, dragging it across her shoulders and down her arms, letting it fall to the floor around her feet. He stepped her out of her shoes. Yet all the while their mouths were as one. The blood was pounding in Cassie's head. Her whole insides were twisted in a knot of yearning. Every nerve-ending was jangling.