After the Affair(26)

Of course, in public Dan conducted himself like a loving fiancé, holding her hand and smiling, even putting an arm around her shoulder occasionally. Cassie had found it hard not to flinch away from his show of false affection. As it was, she did hold herself stiff and tense when he touched her. It was all a strain, and on the rare occasions when they had found themselves alone, Dan had been silent and grim. Only once had he spoken, and that had been to ask her to hold out her finger so that he could check its size for her wedding ring.

'Hey, come on, you two,' Roger called through the doorway. 'The wedding chariot awaits.'

Cassie steeled herself and turned towards him. 'Do I look all right, boss?' she asked, a slight catch in her voice.

Roger whistled. 'If I wasn't already mad about the mother I'd give our lad across the river a run for his money.'

Cassie laughed. When she'd first told Roger about her coming marriage and the reason behind it, he had been slightly piqued.

'But why didn't you tell me before?' he'd chided, then added grumpily, 'It all seems unnecessarily rushed.'

Somewhere along the line, though, he had been won over to the idea. Perhaps, Cassie thought with dry amusement, it was after Dan had joined them for dinner on Friday night and told Roger about his planned wine cellar.

Cassie's gaze swept over her mother and Roger, who were both looking at her with expectant faces. While she'd lain in bed the previous night, taut and sleepless, Cassie had determined to go through the ceremony showing not the slightest doubt, even going so far as to feign complete happiness. She didn't want her family to worry about her. But it was going to be tougher than she'd thought.

Still...

Her lips pulled back into a wide smile. 'Well, folks? What are we waiting for?'

Roger's white station-wagon looked magnificent. The enamel gleamed with polish, the grey upholstery was freshly shampooed. But Cassie almost cried when she saw the bride doll resting on the bonnet, secured there with traditional ribbons. It seemed to represent all that was sweet and loving in a wedding, all that would be missing from her own.

Jason was already in the car, bouncing up and down on the back seat. 'Come on, Mum. We don't want to be late.'

'Brides are supposed to be late,' his Gran remarked as they all climbed in.

'Why?'

Roger laughed. 'So that when she shows up the poor bridegroom is so relieved that he forgets what a damned fool thing he's just about to do!'

'Roger Nolan!' Joan reprimanded. 'If that's the way you think about it, you can ‑'

Roger silenced her with a quick kiss before accelerating off.

'Oh, yuk!' Jason squirmed. 'I hope you and Dad aren't going to be mushy like that, Mum.'

Cassie's butterflies churned again, but she managed to give her son a reassuring smile. 'I don't think so, Jason,' she murmured.

'That's good! One of the boys at school said you would be kissing all the time, but I told him you wouldn't. He didn't believe me, but he doesn't know you like I do, does he, Mum?'

Cassie's stomach turned over. Out of the mouths of babes...

'When are you going to be back from Sydney, Mum?'

. 'Friday,' she supplied. 'Don't forget your gran is getting married next Saturday.'

'You mean I've got to wear these horrible clothes again?' Jason wailed.

'I'm afraid so.'

'By the way, Cassie,' Roger joined in. 'I've hired a young chap straight out of university to help while you're gone. He can stay on while I'm away too. I might even keep him on permanently if he works out. The practice is big enough, and who knows what might happen in the near future?'

He gave her a look in the rear-view mirror and Cassie knew exactly what he was thinking. She might get pregnant. Thinking about such matters did little for her strained state. It reminded her that in a matter of hours her marriage to Dan would be consummated. She found the prospect terrifying yet insidiously exciting. Nine years... Would it be as she remembered? Would the lack of love make a difference?

'Here we are!' Jason squealed, bringing Cassie back to the present. 'Look, there's Dad coming down the steps. Doesn't he look terrific?'

Yes...doesn't he? Cassie thought with a jolt. He was dressed in a dark grey suit and white silk shirt, the red tie and handkerchief providing a startling splash of colour. His hair was slicked back from his face in controlled waves, the style bringing attention to his strong, handsome face. His mouth, however, was set tightly in a clenched jaw. His eyes weren't happy. He appeared tense as he strode stiffly across the driveway to their car.

'Our bridegroom looks jittery,' Roger laughed softly.

'Hush, Roger,' Joan hissed.

Cassie swallowed nervously. Jittery was exactly how she was feeling, but she doubted that nerves were the cause of Dan's formidable expression.

Maybe he was beginning to doubt the wisdom of marrying a woman he didn't love. Maybe his egotistical and possibly vengeful wish to have her in his bed was on the wane.