Adam's List(34)

We push our way through the warm bodies until reaching the bar where Matt and his fraternity brothers huddle. Matt greets us with a, “Well, hellooo, ladies!” and extra drinks already in hand. Kelly rests her hand over the buttons on Matt’s dress shirt as she leans in to whisper something in his ear. His free hand rubs the lower half of her exposed back as a longing grin pulls at his lips. I shuffle away into the crowd with my drink in hand, feeling like I just caught them making out. Which they’ll probably do shortly.

I recognize a few faces from other parties we’ve been to, as well as seeing a few fellow students. The overall chatter is a low murmur against the thumping music, but filling up into the high-ceilings just the same. The only thing I like anymore about these parties is the architecture inside the old homes. The complex oak woodwork with circled patterns and deep grooves reminds me of going to see my grandparents in their big farm home when I was little.

Thankfully, the sorority sisters are much more strict on the no smoking rule. The only smells tonight are that of spilled drinks, an atrocious blend of perfumes and colognes meant to seduce, a bit of ripe body odor, and the musk that comes with old houses. It’s a medley of stenches that can only be experienced with the thousands of dollars that are dropped into a college experience. I almost prefer the smoke.

Sipping on the clear liquid from Matt, I grimace. It’s vodka and lemon-lime soda, probably my least favorite drink after gin. One of Matt’s brothers, I think his name is Dean, appears at my side. Built like Matt, he’s tall and well-toned with dark hair styled into a neat faux-hawk. He wears a tan jacket over a white button down and khakis. He’s just like the other brothers, prim and proper, yet pretty full of himself and an innovative leader in the partying department.

“That looks appetizing. Here, try this.” He hands me a dark brown liquid.

I take a sip. It tastes like Captain and diet. “Thanks. I think I’m going to get a beer.

One can never have too many carbs!”

Grinning, he takes the drink Matt gave me. “Keep it. You look like you could loosen up a little. It’s Julia, right?”

“Jewels. My parents cut to the chase of using a nickname.”

I stare down at the drink. I don’t want to go through the usual routine of getting plastered and worrying about losing Kelly, especially now that I’m interested in Adam and don’t want to blow my chances of being with him. But then I remember the way he looked at me when he said he just wanted to be friends, and I decide something to numb the hurt is exactly what I need.

Dean starts in on small-talk, asking questions about my classes and my major. It’s the same unimportant conversation I’ve had with a hundred guys—nothing but a bunch of artificial niceties when he’d much rather skip to the chase and ask permission to jump into my pants. I can see it in his eyes, the way he lightly touches my bare arm.

I’m only half there for the conversation, answering whatever I can when all I want to do is skip out and find Adam.

After nearly downing the whole drink, I’m amazed how I suddenly feel close to hammered. With an extensive track record like mine, one does not get intoxicated from a single drink, but I guess it could be due to the fact that I haven’t drank again since hanging out with Adam. Or maybe Dean poured a double.

The wristlet Kelly loaned me buzzes. Holding the cup in the crook of my arm, I fish out my phone to find a text from Adam.

Thought u said things between us were good

I pull in a stuttering breath. What would make him say that?

My eyes feel heavy. The letters on my phone become a jumbled mess. Drawing my eyebrows down, I type.

They r

A few seconds later he responds.

Stopped by to make sure u r not mad

“Shit,” I mutter. I should’ve just flat out told him that I was going out with my roommate instead of making up a lame lie. But apparently I’ve become an expert at avoiding the truth this past week.

Kel dragged me 2 spring mixer

Pushing the send button becomes a chore when all at once my head feels extremely heavy. I feel a sudden urge to just lie down.

I feel a vibration with another message from Adam, but my eyes won’t focus long enough to make out the words. Random letters blur in and out, making no sense. I slowly bring my head up to watch the people dancing nearby. The room takes on a carnival-quality depth, making them look like they’re a hundred feet off in the distance. I feel like I’m floating, even though my feet are still grounded.

Suddenly feeling dizzy, I stagger.

“Everything okay?” Dean asks.

“It must be these damn heels,” I think I say. Everything takes on a dream-like quality as I look up at Dean, his handsome face swaying in front of me. The music becomes hallow like it’s being played in a garbage can in a garage a block down. I bring a hand up to my head. “Something’s wrong.”