Absolute Beginners(82)

I remembered the dark circles that makeup couldn’t conceal completely and the look in her eyes. She was going through something, and I had no idea what it was. Talking would be a good thing if it meant getting to know her better so that I might be able to help her with whatever was troubling her. It made my chest hurt to think of her in pain. Rubbing my hand over my heart, I sighed.

“What do you think is wrong?” Matt asked gently, and I was surprised to see concern in his eyes.

“I don’t have a clue,” I admitted. “I hardly know her, but I want to know more. That’s why I have to believe that talking on Tuesday will be a good thing.” I paused for a moment. “I…I want her to love me.”

Shawn gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Um, how do I make that happen?” I asked, looking at the two of them.

“Stephen, you can’t make her fall in love with you,” Shawn said. “These things just happen.”

Damn it. Not the answer I was hoping for.

“That’s bull,” my brother piped up. “You can totally get her to fall for you!”

“Really? How?”

“Easy.” Matt grinned. “You just need to have lots and lots of sex with her.”

Oh, I like that plan. My brother is a genius! Wait, what am I saying? Matt? A genius? I think not.

My brother was nodding knowingly, looking pleased with himself. Shawn, on the other hand, looked puzzled.

“What do you mean?” I asked, scratching my neck. “How would that make her love me?”

“There’s like this hormone that gets released when you’re fucking,” he said matter-of-factly. “It makes you fall in love.”

“Pardon me?” I asked. “A love hormone? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Exactly!” he said, tapping his nose. “It’s supposed to keep the woman from cheating and urge the man to provide for the offspring.”

“Where did you hear that?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. “TV?”

The only things Matt reads are liquor labels and articles in Playboy.

“Uh-huh,” he confirmed. “The Discovery Channel.”

“And you actually believe that?” I asked.

“Why do you think I only fuck a woman a few times before moving on?” he asked.

“Because you’re a big ol’ manwhore,” Shawn said dryly. I couldn’t stop myself from snickering.

“I am not. I’m just making sure that I don’t get any clingy, lovesick women on my hands.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Shawn chuckled, turning his attention to me. “Love isn’t all about hormones, Stephen. It’s about soul mates and destiny. You meet the right person and you just know it. Like it was always meant to be. Your perfect counterpart who was designed specifically for you.”

He stared dreamily into space while Matt rolled his eyes. I looked at my two companions and wondered how on earth they were friends when they were so fundamentally different. I didn’t believe Matt’s theory completely, though it did make a lot of sense from a biological standpoint. But I couldn’t believe that love was just hormones. There had to be more than that to it.

But Shawn’s take on things was a little too naïve and rosy for my logical mind and I couldn’t quite get behind that theory, either. I hadn’t loved Julia the first time I saw her. I had found her to be highly annoying and disruptive, and only after getting to know her better, biblically and otherwise, had I realized that I loved her.

It looked like I was on my own with this one. I just had to follow my own instincts and do what I believed was best.

“I’m sending her some flowers,” I announced. “I want her to be happy and let her know that I’m thinking of her. Girls like flowers, right?” Both of them nodded and I breathed out in relief. Maybe I really could figure this out.

“You should get her red roses,” Matt said. “You can’t go wrong with a classic.”

“No,” Shawn objected. “You should find out what her zodiac sign is and give her the flowers that match hers.”

My head was spinning. Once again my friends were in disagreement.

Just follow your instincts.

“No,” I said. “I’ll send her something that I think she will like. Something that reminds me of her.”

“Oh, that’s even better. She’ll fall for you, Stephen,” Shawn said with conviction, smiling at me. “How could she not?”

I returned the smile, praying that he was right.

* * *

After brunch I stopped by a florist and looked around at their selection.

“Can I help you find something?” the lady behind the counter asked me.