A Year to Remember(97)
I saw the pain etched on his face. “What happened after we got off the phone?”
He turned away for a moment and took a deep breath. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be happy with his response. Then his gaze returned to mine.
“I tried to kiss Jenny, but she stopped it. She knew I was kissing her in response to you, not because I wanted her. She told me she didn’t believe you would stay engaged to Caleb. She thought you had been forced by the media. She was right of course, but I didn’t know it until the following week when I spoke to your brother. He informed me you had a slight nervous breakdown when you got back from Israel, but you were already doing better. I think he knew something had happened between us then because he kept insisting I go over to your condo to check on you.”
“Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me the truth once you knew I wasn’t engaged?”
“I wanted to. Every day I had to keep myself from calling you or showing up on your doorstep. We promised to give each other three months. It seemed easier to have you mad at me if I couldn’t change ... if after the three months I still didn’t believe in marriage.”
“What did change your mind about marriage?” Now that I knew he hadn’t been with another woman, I started to open my heart to let him in.
“I’ve been seeing a therapist,” he admitted. “After listening to me bitch and moan about how much I missed you these last few months, he pointed out I couldn’t be any more miserable if I was married.” He laughed.
“You saw a therapist? For me?” As a psychologist myself, I understood what a huge step he had taken. It isn’t easy bearing your soul to a stranger.
“I’d walk over hot coals for you, Sara. A few months of therapy didn’t seem too high a price to pay for what I’d get in return ... you.” He kissed me, evidence suggesting he was ready for round two.
“I’ve been making some changes, too, these last few months. There’s only one thing you should know about me,” I said, kissing his chest.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I’m a cat person. You’ll have to come over and meet Spock.”
“Spock, huh? So we have Spock, Leia, Luke, and Yoda? I sense a theme here,” he said with a chuckle.
“Don’t you think we should go out and tell Seth and Emily the good news?” I asked as he pulled me on top of him.
“Let ‘em wait.”
And we did.
CHAPTER 38
A Year to Remember Blog
Sara Friedman’s journey to find her soul mate
January 1, 2013 You’ve Always Had the Power.
Happy New Year, friends! I hope everyone had as wonderful a holiday as I did last night. My boyfriend Adam and I stayed home and watched An Affair to Remember. I liked it as much as Love Affair, if not more. They don’t make men like Cary Grant these days. (Ouch! Adam just nudged me.) Except, for my Adam. (Is that better, sweetie?)
For the first time in my life, I’m happy. It’s not just because of Adam, although he is a huge part. It’s because I’m whole. I can make my own decisions! I used to rely on family, friends, and lovers to make decisions for me. When I came to Overeaters Anonymous, I thought God would make the decisions for me. I was wrong. God doesn’t make the decisions. He just guides me as I make my own healthy decisions. I had the power within me all along. Who knew?
I found a calling as well. It turns out I’m excellent at providing psychological treatment to girls with eating disorders. I’m working with an expert in the field in order to focus my practice on the specialty. God definitely works in mysterious ways.
I’ve also gained more friends this year. I have Adam, of course, and my BFF, Missy. Now I can add so many others including Alison, Hannah, and Nate. My weekends are never dull anymore!
Most days, I live free from the need to compulsively overeat. Notice I said “most.” I’m not perfect, and my life isn’t perfect, but I no longer freak out over those things which used to overwhelm me. Little things like traffic. Sure, I hate it. Everyone hates it. But I don’t have to yell at the idiots holding up the traffic as they rubberneck a crash scene. Now, I crank up my music and sing at the top of my lungs. Whatever I’m rushing toward will most likely still be there when I arrive.
Have a safe and healthy year, my readers! May you all find peace and happiness this year!
CHAPTER 39
FEBRUARY 25, 2013
NEW YORK, NEW YORK
Backstage of the Morning show, I tried to gather my courage. In just a few minutes, I would sit with Bethany Williams and explain to millions of viewers I had failed in my mission to marry by this day.