A Time to Heal(24)

He showered, shaved, got dressed, and then started for the back door. He hesitated, but then went out and closed it behind him. Perhaps he could have used the other entrance, the one that led directly into the kitchen. After all, Hannah had knocked at the door so that sort of implied he could use it.

But then he told himself that he wasn't related to the family and it seemed like an invasion of privacy. He didn't want to do anything to upset Matthew now that he seemed to be trusting him more.

So he walked around the home and knocked at the front door like a guest—well, actually, now he was an employee. But still, he wasn't part of the family.

He winced as he thought about his interaction with Hannah a little while ago. What man likes to have a woman know he isn't strong? He should be able to control how he sleeps—he shouldn't have nightmares.

Everything had been out of his control for too long.





When Chris walked into the kitchen, accompanied by Annie who chattered a mile a minute, Hannah handed him a mug of coffee before turning back to the stove.

"Annie, tell Joshua and Mary breakfast is ready."

She scampered up the stairs.

"Good morning," he said.

Surprised, Hannah turned. "Good morning. I didn't think you wanted to talk after the way you were earlier."

He took a seat at the table and stared into his coffee."Sorry."

Resting her hand on her hip, she regarded him. "I figured you're not an early bird."

"You don't get a choice about what kind of bird you are in the military," he told her. He stirred sugar into his coffee.

He didn't meet her eyes. He hadn't been that way yesterday.Frowning, she went to the refrigerator for milk for the kinner and set it on the table. Then understanding dawned.

"You're embarrassed," she said with surprise.

He looked up briefly, then away.

"I used to have nightmares," Joshua said as he came into the room.

She watched Chris turn toward him.

"Yeah?"

Joshua nodded. "After my mamm died."

"You never told me," Hannah said.

Shrugging, Joshua avoided her eyes much as Chris had done. "Abe called me a sissy when he found out."

"Oh, liebschen, that's not so." Hannah wrapped her arms around Joshua and her eyes met Chris's over his blond head."It's not sissy to have nightmares."

Joshua fidgeted in her arms and she bit back a smile as she realized that he probably felt too old for her to be hugging him.He'd been doing that lately. Like people said, kinner grew up too quickly.

"No, Joshua," Chris said in a low voice. "It's not sissy." He looked at Hannah. "I'm not embarrassed. I just don't like to talk about personal stuff."

"Then you shouldn't," Hannah said slowly. She could tell by the way Chris's eyes widened that he was surprised by her words.

Footsteps pounded down the stairs and the girls came into the room. Matthew walked in just then too.

"Perfect timing," Hannah said, walking to open the oven. "I think the breakfast casserole is ready."

"Ready to start work?" Matthew asked him.

Chris got up but Matthew waved a hand at him and laughed."I didn't mean this minute. Breakfast first."

He washed his hands at the sink, wiped them on a towel, and sat down. "Mmm, smells good."

"Food," Hannah said, setting the casserole down in the center of the table and turning to smile at Chris. "It's Matthew's favorite."

Chris grinned. "That's what my mother always said about me." He glanced at Joshua. "I know I ate a lot, but I was a growing boy."

"I grew two inches this year," Joshua told him.

Hannah served the casseroles of bacon, eggs, cheese, and potatoes, and after grace, everyone dug in. It was good, solid food on a cool autumn morning, one that would fuel the men for chores and the scholars for their studies. She ate a good portion, too, for the housework she'd be doing. There were always housekeeping chores in a home, and it did a body good to have work to keep hands busy.

After chores and dinner, she'd be teaching a quilting class, something she loved and did occasionally when they needed her at Stitches in Time, a shop run by a friend of hers in town. They sold the quilts she made and offered courses to locals and tourists who wanted to learn the craft.

The day would be busy and long, but she liked days like that the best, especially lately. She'd have less time to think the way she had this past month. Good. She didn't like the way she had been thinking. When, and if, God wanted her to have a mann of her own, a family of her own, He'd make it happen.God's will, in God's time.

Not Hannah's, she reminded herself sternly.





Horsepower.

In Chris's world, it meant the engine under the hood of a car or a tractor.