A Time to Heal(19)

"I'm not sure yet."

The pie tasted amazing: the fruit sweet and luscious, the ice cream rich and flavored with vanilla. He could die happy after eating his dessert.

A chill ran across his skin.

"You okay?"

She must have seen him shudder. "Yeah, I just got a brain freeze from the ice cream."

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Several more of her friends stopped to say hello and be introduced to Chris. He sensed their curiosity, but when they left the restaurant the itch between his shoulder blades stayed. Shrugging, he finished his pie and enjoyed his coffee.

Fannie Mae stopped back to refill their coffee cups and leave the check. To Chris's consternation, Hannah tried to reach for it. He snatched it first.

"This is my treat."

"But you're our guest. Matthew gave me the money."

"Give it back to him. It was nice of you all to put me up last night. Too bad he had to work today or he could have joined us."

"He'll be busy harvesting for the next couple of weeks."

"I missed it—working the farm—overseas," he admitted and saw her look at him in surprise. He guessed he deserved it after he hadn't wanted to talk much about himself.

They walked toward the cashier to pay the bill, and as they did, Chris swept the interior and noted the dwindling number of occupants. Just tourists. He wasn't a soldier any more, and he needed to remember that.

No one watched him. He'd left that worry behind him.

Phoebe looked up and laid aside the quilt she'd been stitching as Hannah walked into the house.

"Pretty," Hannah said, admiring the baby quilt.

"So how was your day?"

"Interesting," Hannah said after a moment. "Chris isn't like any man I've ever met. Plain or Englisch."

She sat down on the sofa and picked up her own quilting project.

"He has old eyes," Phoebe said. "Jenny had them when she first came to live here after she'd been hurt overseas."

"Old eyes?"

Phoebe nodded. "He's seen too much for someone so young."

"But he said he joined the military. No one made him go."She paused and thought about that.

"But I wonder if he knew what he was getting into. Can anyone? I don't know much about being a soldier but from what Jenny's shared with me, it's no wonder she came home with eyes that looked like they'd looked on too much suffering."

"But the Englisch spend so much time watching television, surfing the Internet, even using cell phones to stay up on things, not just talking. They seem to know everything about everything. You don't think he knew what the job of a soldier might involve?"

Phoebe shrugged. "I don't know. But it doesn't seem as though he's at peace with himself."

"Broody. That's what I called him today. Oh, not to his face," she rushed to say when Phoebe raised her eyebrows. "It's near impossible to get him to talk about himself. I sort of told him that."

"That's our Hannah. Never one to beat around the bush."

"Why waste time?" she asked lightly.

Phoebe's lips quirked. "If you say so."

"Oh, I know that's probably one reason why men haven't courted me." Hannah lifted her chin. "But I can't pretend to be something I'm not."

"Of course not." Phoebe lifted her needle and began stitching again.

"I'll probably become en alt maedel."

The needle fell from Phoebe's fingers. "That's the first time I've heard you talk like that. You will not be an old maid."

Hannah got up and paced around the room.

"Tell me what's troubling you, child."

Stopping, Hannah turned to face Phoebe. How she wished she could call back her words. This kind, wise woman who had invited her to stay in her home, to make it her home after Matthew and Jenny had married, shouldn't be privy to such blurted out admissions. Phoebe looked so frail and old these days. She'd insisted nothing was wrong when Hannah had questioned her several times but Hannah wondered.

"I'm sorry. You don't need to listen to me being so childish.I'm not a teenager anymore."

"Talk to me, Hannah."

Phoebe's voice sounded surprisingly firm. She patted the cushion next to her on the sofa.

"This is the first autumn I've felt like this," she confessed.Hannah dropped down on the sofa next to the older woman."I guess I thought I'd be married by now and taking care of my own family."

"But you refused to have anything to do with the young men who were interested in you while you cared for Matthew's kinner and took care of his house."

"Don't make it sound like a sacrifice," she said, remembering how Matthew had said something similar back then. "I loved every minute of helping him. I love those kinner like they're my own."