A Time to Dance(82)

            when our doorbell rings.


I’m surprised to find our neighbors

            Mrs. Subramaniam and her daughter

            standing on the landing.

            “We have something for you,” Shobana says.


“For me?”

            All these years the Subramaniams lived below us,

            I never once thought of getting anything

            for them.


“After your accident, we prayed for your recovery,”

            Mrs. Subramaniam says.

            “We saw you onstage again,

            at the performance about Buddha’s life.

            So we went to the temple and offered thanks.”


Shobana gives me a package of blessed food

            and a packet of vermillion powder.

            “Here is some prasadam from the temple.

            And some kumkumam.”


“Thank you.”

            How do I apologize

            for being so involved with my own dance

            that I never found time to talk with them?


Shobana waves her hand at me

            as though waving away my thanks.

            She and her mother disappear down the stairs.


Guilt makes

            the packets they gave me

            feel heavier than rocks.





FINDING

MY WAY





Every time the phone rings, I hope it’s Govinda.

            It never is.

            Every time I enter dance school,

            my eyes search for some sign of him.

            He’s nowhere to be seen.


So I find Radhika,

            and ask her to come to the concert with me and Chandra.

            Radhika tucks an arm through mine and she

            tugs me toward the empty stage under the banyan tree.


“Veda? I’ve known Govinda all my life.

            He’s crazy about you.”


“He doesn’t act like he cares, Radhika.

            I asked him out to the concert

            and he turned me down.

            He hasn’t called since.

            Has he given up dance altogether? Is he avoiding me?”

            I cross my arms over my chest

            like that will help me

            hold myself together.


Radhika gives me a quick hug.

            “Veda, I think it was good for Govinda that you two fought.

            He’s sorting out his life right now.

            I can’t tell you a whole lot—but, yes,

            he’s in touch with akka still.

            He’s not given up dance altogether.

            And trust me—he really likes you.

            So if you like him, too, you’ll surely get back together.

            Wait and see.”





A GIFT





The smell of semolina and cardamom and melting butter

            surprises me when I return home.

            Ma is back early, making hot sojji