A Stone in the Sea(98)

Which was precisely what I’d done.

But it’d been more than that.

I could feel her spirit screaming for a breath, for a chance to come up for air, a reprieve from the constant drama that had eaten up our lives for the past two days.

I knew Shea needed time to process. To grasp what being with me was really going to mean.

Because now she knew firsthand how cruel it could be.

The burdens and the bullshit.

The hurt.

And this fucking hurt.

I knew I had to give her the space to decide if someone like me could ever be worth it.

Street lamps blinked past as I drove through town. I resisted another welling of rage. I was about five seconds from coming completely unhinged, turning around, and tracking down the fucker who’d crossed every boundary and line. What I wouldn’t give to tear him limb from limb just so he could experience a little of the agony he’d inflicted, the excruciating pain of having someone rip your life apart.

And for what?

Sport?

Financial gain?

Fuck that.

Instead of giving in, I made a turn and inched down Shea’s quiet street. I parked at the curb and pushed out a strained breath as I looked over at her darkened house. Trees canted in the harsh gusts of wind, sucked to the side as they lurched and swayed. Something lonely and desperate seeped from the strong, white exterior walls, seeping out across the lawn, stretching out for me.

I cut the engine and climbed from the cab. Nerves hit me as I climbed her steps and slipped the key she’d given me into the lock of the front door.

Sucking in a breath, I pushed it open.

Inside, a heavy darkness crawled along the walls, a quiet so thick I could taste it.

But that energy.

That energy was alive in it.

Her storm.

Pressing and pulling me forward.

I didn’t have to call out to her to know she was in Kallie’s room.

Silently, I mounted the stairs, wood groaning beneath my feet as I climbed.

April’s door was closed, and I figured she would be in her room catching up on studying, the way she seemed to do whenever Shea was home in the evenings.

My chest ached as my mind flipped through every scenario, and that time I’d afforded Shea now felt like a crushing force. Because fuck…if she wanted to send me away? Didn’t know if I could do it. Give her up. This girl had become my world.

Resolve settled over me like the slow drizzle of rain, droplets hitting me everywhere until I was completely soaked. I was going to make sure I was worth it. Besides, I knew it in my gut that Shea couldn’t live without me any more than I could live without her.

Could feel the same damn thing calling out for me from Kallie’s room.

More.

More.

More.

Slivers of muted light glowed from the crack in Kallie’s door, and I softly nudged it, and it creaked as it fell open to reveal the room.

That energy stirred as the girl stole my breath.

Shea’s head was tipped down where she sat in the old, white rocking chair that was tucked in the corner of Kallie’s room, my girl’s strong, loving arms ensuring comfort within. The chair faced out on the room, and Kallie was curled up on her lap while Shea rocked her, that precious tiny girl lost in the restful abyss of sleep. Shea brushed gentle fingers through Kallie’s hair as she peered down at her daughter’s face.

Tranquility. Peace and adoration.

Beauty.

What I’d turned away from that day on the street when I’d finally understood how much Shea had to lose. How much she needed to protect. When I got why I could never just be a distraction.

Now…now turning away was impossible.

A surge of possessiveness crashed over me, and I struggled to swallow around the rock of emotion that got lodged at the base of my throat.

Shea didn’t look up at me, just let her hushed words spill into the room as a soft smile kissed one side of her mouth. “From the time I brought her home from the hospital, I rocked her to sleep in this chair every single night until the day she turned two.” Her smile fluttered and flickered, my girl lost to wistfulness. “My grandma used to say a child should never be spoiled rotten, only spoiled until they were sweet. I figured if I rocked her to sleep any longer than that, I’d be risking crossing over into rotten territory because she was already as sweet as she could be.”

My heart pulsed, erratic and wild.

She choked over pensive laughter, and she finally glanced up at me, those warm caramel eyes exposing her vulnerability, that unforgettable face sodden with tears.

Every muscle in my body coiled with reverence.

Gripping me in the tendrils of her storm, the hurricane surrounding her grew fast and fierce.

She turned her attention back to Kallie. “I would sit here and sing to her every night, making up songs about my dreams for her, my dreams for us. How I was going to give her the best life she could possibly wish for. I’d tell her it was just her and me and I was certain that was always going to be enough.” Her voice cracked. “And then there was you.”