A Shade Of Blood(29)

“You what? Sofia, why? If I could be given the chance to end Claudia’s life, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt about it either.”
“Lucas is still Derek’s brother. That means something to Derek… Family means something to him.”
At that, Ben grew silent. He knew what family meant to me and why I would respect Derek for valuing family. I stopped at a red light and rubbed my neck with my palm, trying to ease my own tension.
“Derek… did he ever…” he hesitated.
“No. He never fed on me. He never had his way with me.” I was relieved when the red light went green again. The sooner we get home, the sooner this conversation is over. “And for the record, my choice to leave the Shade wasn’t about you or him. It was about me. I didn’t want to live my life as a slave – Derek’s or otherwise. That wasn’t a future I wanted for myself. I left the island because I knew that I could carve a better future for myself out here than back there.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”
“That’s because you never asked, Ben.”
For the rest of the ride home, both of us remained silent. When we reached the Hudsons’ driveway and I finished parking, we lingered inside the pickup, both of us hating the strain between us.
“I feel like I’m losing you, Sofia.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. It sparked the memories of all those times that I wanted him to want me, of times I daydreamed of being in his arms, of becoming his girl. Is it possible that he actually felt something for me all this time?
Consumed by the silence, I took hold of his hand and squeezed tightly. “I’m right here.” For now. I hoped it was enough to assure him that he hadn’t lost me yet.
Our fingers intertwined and then his lips were on mine. Gentle. Chaste. Sweet. Numb. I was too surprised to respond and the kiss came to a quick end. Our eyes met for a split second before we both fumbled out of the vehicle and made our way to the door.
Amelia’s mouth dropped open when she saw her son. “Ben… what happened?”
“It’s nothing, mom…”
Amelia looked at me questioningly, almost as if she were blaming me for the cuts and bruises he received. We entered the house and I let Ben explain to his mother what happened. He was in the middle of telling her that either she or Lyle had to go to school and speak to the guidance counselor with him tomorrow, when I decided to retire to my room. I wondered where Lyle and Abby were and remembered that she had a play date. Lyle probably went to pick her up.
I was exhausted – more in an emotional sense than a physical one. I collapsed on the bed. My phone began vibrating within my bag. I fished for it and found a text message from an unknown number. The message read: For the record, Ben was fighting for you. – Connor
I wondered if Ben put him up to sending the text. Either way, I was intrigued. Fighting for me? I found it confusing that Ben would suddenly – in a span of one day – show that kind of interest in me when he never looked at me as more than a friend for so long. Is he just doing this to get me to join him in his quest for revenge?
I opened my closet for a change of clothes. I’d just finished slipping on a red tank top and buttoning up my shorts when Ben knocked twice and opened my door.
When he stepped inside, I was taken aback by the look he was giving me.
“Ben?”
As soon as I spoke his name, he held my waist and pulled me against him. He kissed me fully this time. I shivered as I responded with gusto.
It wasn’t void of passion and no one could ever accuse Ben of not being a good kisser. He was a great kisser in fact – not that I had many others to compare him with. Still, kissing him was just as I always imagined it to be. Except for one thing. I couldn’t feel a thing. It was void of any substantial emotion. In fact, the whole time our lips were pressing against each other, the one emotion that stood above all was the now familiar ache I felt whenever I came face-to-face with the truth of how much I missed Derek.

Chapter 18: Derek
 
I sat in stunned silence as Eli Lazaroff began reporting the results of the census to everyone present at the dome. Apart from the fact that the census gave me a staggeringly clear picture of the state of the kingdom, I remained quiet because I found Vivienne’s presence and Lucas’ absence upsetting. Vivienne’s words were still ringing in my ears and Lucas was always the constant reminder of how I lost Sofia.
Eli started with the number of the Elite. “We now number a hundred and ten.” He then began listing off the breakdown of each vampire clan and where each of the hundred and ten belonged.