A Little Harmless Submission(72)

“I’m not strong,” she repeated, but louder this time. “I was so damned scared every time I was in the field. I hated it. I hate being an agent. I hate that sick rush you get when you know there’s going to be trouble. Other agents get off on it, but I don’t have the backbone to be an agent.”

Damn her father. Damn him for making her feel that the only way she could be complete was by being an FBI agent.

“Baby, that doesn’t make you weak.” He did touch her then. He brushed his fingers down her arm. She seemed to collapse, the tears streaming down her face. He pulled her against him with his one good arm.

“I am. There is part of me that would be happy to live a lie and pretend you love me just to be near you. I love you so much that it’s breaking me.”

“You are strong.” She shook her head and sniffled against his chest. “You are, baby. You are willing to walk away and try something that other people would be afraid to do. No matter what, you did a job you hated because people depended on you. That makes you a good person.”

She still said nothing, so he slipped his finger under her chin.

“But despite that, despite the fact that your father tried to raise you in his image, you are your own woman. You might be tough on the outside, but you have this sweet heart. You hide it from everyone else, but I see it. I like that. From the moment I first touched you, I knew I couldn’t give you up.”

“Then why were you being an ass?”

“You know about what happened in Seattle?”

“The partner, she was dirty.”

“I was sleeping with her. She slept with me to make sure I missed out on it. When they found Amy, I blamed myself. See, since I’d been with you, I couldn’t concentrate. I figured I could put you back in the compartment.”

She still didn’t believe him. He could tell by the expression on her face.

“You know, a guy could get the impression you don’t want to be loved by the way you’re acting.”

“You feel guilty.”

“Yeah, for acting like an ass, and I should have picked up on Jack, but he kept it well hidden. But I’m not telling you I love you because I feel guilty. I love you because of who you are. You’re tough and kind, and there is a part of you I know you’ve not let anyone see but me. A vulnerable part that just wants to be loved for who you are. I do love you for who you are. I want you by my side when I fall asleep, I want to breathe in your scent before I open my eyes in the morning. I want a little Maria running around the house with her mother’s laugh and those gorgeous blue eyes. I can’t think of being without you. I love you.”

Tears were now streaming down her face. “Oh, Rome. I love you, too.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you. I love you.” She threw herself against him, hitting his shoulder. He grunted as a twinge of pain filtered out from his shoulder.

She pulled back. “I’m sorry, Rome.”

“I think this is where I’m supposed to pick you up and carry you into the bedroom.”

She laughed. “How about we just walk in together?”

He stopped her. “You will marry me.”

The smile she gave him reached her eyes and had his heart turning over twice. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

He pulled her into the bedroom, but she tried to stop him.

“Rome, the doctor told you to take it easy.”

“Okay,” he said and gave her a hard tug that had her stumbling with him into the room. “I’ll let you do all the hard work.”

She laughed and fell on to the bed with him, the sound of it filling him with joy and lust. And love.

It was his last coherent thought for hours.