A Curve in the Road(44)

Zack is silent for a moment. “I don’t know how you’re able to forgive him.”

“I’m not sure that I have,” I explain. “Not completely, because sometimes I still feel angry, but then I remember that he gave me you, and I’m glad I married him. I have no regrets about that.”

It’s a monstrous statement, and it feels good to say it. To truly believe it.

Zack says nothing, so I find myself quoting Nathan as I attempt to explain how I’ve managed to get through the past year. “Time helps, Zack. I promise it will get easier. The anger fades. So does the pain.”

I hear Zack sniffing. “What made you decide to tell me this now, after all this time? Why not just keep it secret forever? Part of me wishes you had.”

“Believe me, I have struggled with that over the past year. I didn’t like hiding something from you. It felt dishonest.” I clear my throat. “But things change. And now, there’s a very important reason why you need to know. I just learned about it yesterday.”

“What is it?”

As Winston lies beside me, I stroke his silky coat and gather my resolve. “The woman your father was seeing . . . she . . .” My heart races, but I force myself to continue. “She had a baby. A son. Which means you have a half brother.”

There is nothing but silence on the other end of the line, and my chest feels like it’s going to explode.

“I have a brother?” Zack finally asks. “A baby brother?”

“Yes,” I reply. “I saw a picture of him, and he looks exactly like you when you were a baby.”

Zack pauses, and I’m not sure what he’s going to say. When he finally speaks, it’s in a breathless, husky voice. “I can’t believe it. I have a brother. It’s unbelievable.”

“A miracle, really.”

Zack laughs softly. “A miracle.” I listen to the sound of him breathing. “Can I meet him?”

I close my eyes and feel a tremendous wave of relief to have shared the truth with him at last. Somehow, I know that he’s going to be okay. We both are. There are no more secrets between us.

And I feel absolutely certain—without a doubt—that I did the right thing today. I feel as if I’ve finally emerged from the darkness into the light.

After I end the call with Zack, I sit for a moment, basking in a welcome sense of calm. I relish it for a little while. Then I pick up my phone again and call Nathan.

“Hi,” I say. “I don’t suppose you’re free right now.”

“I can be,” he replies. “I’m all done in the clinic for the day, just tidying up a few files, and my parents are making supper for the girls. What’s up?”

“Would you like to meet me on the wharf? I have something I’d love to share with you. It’s about Zack and that impossible conversation I’ve been avoiding all year.”

Nathan knows everything about it, of course. He’s been my sounding board since the beginning. “Wow. I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Great. I’ll bring Winston. You can bring Dorothy and the girls if you want to.”

“No, I think I’ll just bring myself tonight, if it’s all the same to you.”

Secretly, I’m pleased to hear it because there’s so much to talk about, and on top of that, I’ve been fantasizing about being alone with Nathan ever since that sweet, teasing kiss on my mother’s porch last week.

“Okay. I’ll see you on the boardwalk. I’ll be waiting in front of the museum.”

“I’m on my way.”

I see Nathan from a distance, walking toward me in faded blue jeans, a black turtleneck sweater, and a brown leather jacket. The setting sun illuminates his face, and anticipation bubbles up inside me, because I’ve been imagining this moment and so many other scenarios with the two of us together. Now, here we are.

“Hi,” he says as he reaches me and bends to pat Winston on the head. “Hi to you too, big guy. How’s it going?”

Winston wags his tail, and Nathan straightens to meet my gaze. I feel a rush of excitement in my blood.

“Thanks for coming. Should we walk?” I gesture toward the other end of the boardwalk.

“Sure.”

We start off at a leisurely pace together, side by side, while Winston trots out front.

“I hope you didn’t mind my calling,” I say, “but I felt so good about my conversation with Zack I couldn’t keep it in.”

“What happened? The suspense is killing me.”

I glance up at the sky, then give Nathan a full recap of everything Zack and I talked about. It takes me a while to get through it all, and by the time I’m done, Nathan and I have taken a seat on a bench overlooking the water.

“It sounds like he took it well,” Nathan says, relaxing his arm along the back of the bench. “You must feel so good about that, Abbie. It must be a huge relief.”

“It is.” I tilt my head to the side to rest it on his shoulder. He rubs the back of my neck and kisses the top of my head. I remain there for a moment with my eyes closed, relishing his calm, comforting presence.

I inhale deeply and sit up straight again. “I’m glad he took it well, but it’s probably going to take some time for him to fully process it. He was disappointed in his dad, which makes me feel proud, actually—that he has a sense of honor and knows how important it is to be faithful in a marriage.”

“He sounds like a great kid, Abbie.”

“He definitely is.”

Above us and around us, seagulls call out to one another as they soar over the fishing boats moored at the docks. I breathe in the salty scent of the harbor and want desperately to reach for Nathan’s hand and hold it, because I feel joyful and enraptured, but something holds me back. Shyness, I suppose. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man like this. Life with Alan was so comfortable for so many years. There were never any feelings of nervousness between us physically.

I realize it’s been ages since I’ve been touched.

“So what will you do now?” Nathan asks.

I let out a deep breath. “Somehow, I’ll have to figure out how to take the next step, because Zack wants to meet Paula’s son, but he’s back at school now. I’ll have to contact her, I suppose, and arrange a time. Zack has midterms coming up, but he said he didn’t want to wait until Christmas. I told him I’d be happy to fly him home on points for the long weekend in November, if he wants.”

Nathan does the very thing I was tempted to do just now. He reaches for my hand, turns it over in his, and studies my open palm. “I think you’re doing the right thing, Abbie.”

I feel a warm glow inside me. “Yes, I think so too. It feels good to finally have everything out in the open with Zack. I feel closer to him now—like he knows the real me, not just the perfect parent I always tried to be in his eyes.”

Except that I haven’t shared everything with Zack. He knows nothing about what’s happening here at this moment, between Nathan and me.

One step at a time, I tell myself.

“I’m glad you called me,” Nathan says, raising my hand to his lips and kissing the back of it.

Light from the setting sun reflects in the blue of his eyes, and I feel an intense wave of happiness. I sense that he feels it too, and we lean toward each other. Our foreheads touch. We sit like that for a blissful moment, eyes closed, our hands entwined. My heart swells with yearning.

There is a tremor inside me, the beginnings of a sea change that I am more than ready to welcome into my life. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this will be an exciting and satisfying new journey.

Nathan’s lips touch mine in a deep and sultry kiss, and I melt at the sensation of his hand gently cupping the rim of my jaw. All my senses begin to hum. I feel as if I’ve known this man forever and I’ve been waiting for him. For this day.

We slowly draw back. The corner of his mouth curls up in a small grin that fills me with delight.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time,” he says.

“Me too,” I reply breathlessly.

“Really? I wasn’t sure.”

I nod my head with exaggeration. “Oh, you can be sure, Nathan. Very sure.”

He gives me that dazzling smile I love. It makes me feel like a schoolgirl again.

“Okay then,” he says, still grinning.

We sit back and hold hands like a couple of teenagers, until Winston gets restless on the end of his leash.

“I think he wants to go forth and sniff something.” I laugh as I allow him to pull me to my feet.

Nathan stands up as well and walks with us. The sun is just setting, and the pink-and-blue sky is spectacular over the western horizon. The air is fragrant with the saltiness of the sea mixed with the scent of fallen leaves, and I breathe it all in, every last gorgeous bit of it.

A few weeks later, I meet Zack at the airport at noon on a Saturday because he has an important dinner engagement that evening—at the home of Paula Sheridan and her mother.

I called to let Paula know that Zack was interested in meeting her son. She was overjoyed to hear it, so I paid them a visit to meet the boy myself and discuss when Zack should come.

What a surprise it was to meet Paula’s son and feel such joy when I held him in my arms. He was a sweet baby, and he reminded me of Zack at that age. But why wouldn’t he? They were half brothers.