A Christmas to Remember(90)

“I’m going to paint your face,” she said, holding one finger in the air with imaginary paint on it. “Close your eyes, Daddy.” Adam looked around at the others at the table as if he were asking what to do. Joyce winked at him and smiled, so he closed his eyes. Olivia dragged her finger down his nose. “That is…” She pursed her lips in thought. “Purple. What color would you like the end of your nose to be?”

With his eyes still closed, Adam said, “How about green?”

“Yes! Green would look very nice.” Using her make-believe paint, she rubbed the end of his nose with her fingertip. “Now I’m going to put some eyebrows on…” She moved her finger along the bottom of his forehead. “…and I’m going to paint your cheeks pink.”

As Carrie watched the exchange between Adam and his daughter, she couldn’t believe how far they’d come. There he was at work, and he was completely in the moment. Olivia didn’t even realize the magnitude of this outing. Her daddy had not only taken time off work, but he’d invited his whole family out to see where he spent so much of his time, something he’d never done before. And now, he was sitting with Olivia on his lap as if it were a normal, everyday occurrence. He was making memories.

Olivia and David seemed so comfortable with him now, so relaxed. Carrie wondered how it had even happened. With all her other families, she’d always had a set list of strategies to help the children overcome whatever issues or obstacles they had, but this time had been different. It had taken a ton of tiny moments, all kinds of thoughts and feelings, and acting on those. Life wasn’t about things she could read in her books; it was about living it, and making it happen.

When Olivia had finished “painting” his face, Adam took her tiny hands in his and addressed the family. “I have an announcement to make,” he said, “which is why I’ve brought you all here today. I just need to go get Andy.” He lifted Olivia off his lap and stood her on her feet next to Joyce. “I’ll be right back.”

Carrie’s mind immediately went into overdrive. Why did he need Andy to make an announcement to his family? My God, she thought, is he really seeing her? Had that kiss been some kind of fling, a crazy night before he committed to Andy Simpson? Was he going to propose or something? Her mouth had dried out completely, and she couldn’t get a breath. Attempting to hide her complete panic, she looked around at the people sitting with her, but no one seemed to notice that she was losing it. Walter was talking to Bruce; Sharon and Eric were helping David get the straw paper off his straw; and Joyce was coloring with Olivia. Their faces blurred in front of Carrie as she tried to get her emotions in check. Adam Fletcher was never hers to have, she told herself. Even if she did feel like she finally belonged, all dressed up at that party, it hadn’t been real. He’d slipped. He’d been spooked. He wasn’t ready for commitment but now he was. She wasn’t sure which of those had been the case, if any, but now, she sat on the edge of her seat, waiting for Adam to announce whatever news he had regarding Andy.

Her chest tightened when she saw Adam and Andy come out of the office door and walk toward them side by side. She was beautiful, smiling, her hair falling loose and wavy over her shoulders. They looked like the perfect couple together, Carrie thought against her will. Everything about the both of them was perfect. Andy turned to Adam and smiled wider, and a wave of heat rushed over Carrie. She knew what kind of smile that was. It was an excited, anticipatory smile. It was an I’m-fond-of-you smile. It was the kind of smile Carrie had given Adam when she’d tried so hard not to. Her chest felt hollow, yet she could hardly get a breath as if her lungs were filled with water. She tried to see if they were standing closer to each other than normal. Andy was awfully close. Carrie was still scrutinizing when, to her horror, she saw Adam’s face. He was grinning at Andy! It was the same kind of grin that happened right after his little laugh he always did. It was a content, almost reflective smile.

“You all remember Andy,” he said, his gaze shifting to the table. “She’s a consultant with whom I’ve been working to expand Salty Shockoe across the East Coast.” He turned to the staff and beckoned them over. Tom, the hostess, and a few others stood behind the Fletcher family. Carrie had to work to slow down her breathing. She was about to hyperventilate.

He looked directly at Carrie. What was his expression? Was it apologetic? Was he silently apologizing for kissing her? She wanted to run out right then and there, but she couldn’t move until she heard it out of his own mouth. So many emotions were slamming around inside her head: She was terrified that he loved Andy, angry that he had kissed her if he wasn’t available, totally disappointed at the thought of Adam being with someone else, worried for the children—how would they handle someone new in their lives? Despite all her emotions, her face was blank, blank with the weight of them all.