A Brutal Betrayal(4)

“So, Megan, like you mentioned, Chuck’s told me a little about you, and he’s mentioned that you want help because of commitment issues. Care to explain?”

“I’m twenty-three years old, and I have never had a relationship.”

“Plenty of people are considerably older than you and have never been in a relationship.”

“Yes, but I’m sure the thought of having one doesn’t make most people’s stomachs turn,” she stated with a bit of annoyance and a hint of desperation.

Personally, he’d never given commitment much thought; he just didn’t have the time for it. However, that didn’t mean many others didn’t have a fear of commitment. He wanted to point that out to her to give her some semblance of normalcy and make her comfortable with him. “No, not exactly, but like I said, there are plenty of people who have never been in a committed relationship. And some of them don’t want to because they are scared of commitment.”

“I’m not scared of commitment, Declan. I’m scared of getting close to someone.”

“Some people are scared of that too. If they get close to someone, they might get hurt.” He knew that wasn’t what she had meant, but he wanted to keep her talking about the subject.

She sighed, clearly frustrated with the way the conversation was going. “I’m not scared they will hurt me emotionally. Hell, I’m not even technically scared they will hurt me physically. It’s something deeper, something I can’t handle. When someone gets close to me, physically, I begin to panic. Not because I think they will necessarily hurt me, but because something inside me is broken. I want to fix it.”

“What’s broken, Megan?”

“Me.”

It was such a simple word—only two letters—used all the time in the English language. However, the way Megan had just said it, it was the longest and hardest word ever created. She might have been right. She might have been broken, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t fixable.

“We’ll get you there. You know, Chuck seems to think I might be able to relate to you better than some of the other therapists you’ve seen. What do you think about that?”

She shrugged, seemingly lost. “I hope so. I really hope so. I just—” She paused and seemed to rethink her train of thought. “How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Twenty-five, why?” Declan responded.

“Most of the therapists I’ve seen have been much older. I feel like a kid whining about a teenage crush with them. Maybe Mr. Hodge has the right idea, maybe you can understand where I’m coming from instead of looking down at me like a daughter needing scolding.”

“Have any of the therapists made you feel that way?” Declan asked, a little anger seeping through his words as he sat up straighter. That nudged him the wrong way by the sheer fact that anyone in that position should never treat a patient that way. There was also a very small part of him that felt a bit protective of Megan, but he attributed it to her being his responsibility as a patient.

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I didn’t mean to imply that they’ve done anything wrong. It’s just my own insecurities that have me thinking that way. But, your age, maybe…I don’t know, maybe I can view you as a friend rather than an authority figure I’m trying to confess my sins to.”

Declan tried to hide the smile forming on his lips. Friends. He liked that. “Well, then that will be my goal.” He saw the small smile tug at the corners of her mouth. He was torn between trying to keep that smile on her face and digging deeper. Digging deeper won out.

“Tell me why you want this.”

“I already told you, I’m not normal.”

“What’s normal?” He shrugged. “Who’s to say you are or aren’t? But we can talk about that another time. I want you to tell me why you want this, not why you think you should, not because you think it goes against some society rule not to be in a relationship.”

She twisted her lips in clear frustration, but he wasn’t giving up. “Relationships can be time-consuming, filled with heartache, even misery, and very complicated at times. Are you sure this is something you want?” While what Declan said was true, he didn’t necessarily think those were the defining characteristics of any given relationship, he just needed to draw out how Megan viewed it.

“They can also be filled with hope, understanding, earth-shattering moments that make your head spin with joy and love.”

“And you know this how?” He wanted to make sure she didn’t have some fairy tale notion of relationships.