A Broken Forever(65)

The receptionist Mila, smiled and waved as I walked through the door. Her face brightened and I waved back happily as I approached the counter.

"Grey, it's good to see you! We were worried last week when you never showed up."

A question mark flashed in my mind-I missed an appointment? I have never missed an appointment. The only time I didn't show up on a Friday was if Amy was sick or had something come up. Those times were few and far between, but never once had I blatantly not come in.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I can't even recall what was going on last Friday."

"Amy tried to call you once or twice but said she wasn't able to get through."

The obvious concern on Mila's face made me understand for the first time that despite my less than thrilling conversations, these people honestly did care for me.

"I am so sorry, I can't believe I did that. I promise you that everything is alright." Her smile washed away her nervous expression.

"Good! Well, you're good to go! Amy was paged so it should just be a couple minutes now." With an assertive nod I selected a seat in the fairly empty waiting room, but before I could fully sit down Amy was already there. 

"Holy speedy!" I situated my purse back on my shoulder and joined a laughing Amy.

"My last appointment ended a little early and I was anxious to see if you were going to miss today too."

We entered Amy's office and instantly I rested against the couch, continuing our conversation as if we were just a couple of girlfriends hanging out.

"I honestly have no idea what happened, or how I managed to miss last week."

Amy's generally stoic face was unable to hide the bewilderment from my direct response.

"Hm," she adjusted herself in her black chair, and I could see the wheels in her curious mind were already churning.

"Did anything big happen last week that may have created an unexpected chaos in your world?"

I understood the question perfectly fine but still found myself needing clarification. "What do you mean?"

"Just curious if something came up that may have caused you to forget it was Friday."

"No, no, I mean, what do you mean?"

Fractionally her head tilted to the side, incredibly unsure of what I was getting at. "I'm not understanding your question."

"Just, the way you phrased your question, kind of makes it sound like nothing really unexpected comes up."

"Ah," she nodded slowly, looking for a way to respond cautiously. "In a way that is true. You have routines, habits, and daily happenings that are normal within your life. If there was something that appeared outside of the norm, I could see that throwing your world through a bit of a whirlwind."

"Are you asking about Stefan?" Everything Amy said was accurate; my day and life had been very orderly on a day-to-day basis. This appointment though I knew I would be unable to play dumb the way I have for some of her questions in the past. That unexpected twist Amy referred to was undoubtedly Stefan, and since I burst in here spilling my guts about him-there was no way to pretend he was still a phantom of my memory.

A polite smile surfaced, as a single nod confirmed my question. "It is, the last time you came here you had just seen and spoken to him for the first time. Has anything happened further with that?"

A sigh of resignation puffed out, there really was no avoiding this topic since it had been the center of my focus since I saw him in the street. It really made my heart sour though, to accept that my expectation of a fun little chat was long out the window.

"A lot has happened."

For the next half an hour I tried to fill Amy in on everything that we had gone through. The medical bill, car repair, eating at our favorite restaurant, our fight, the kiss, and even the flowers. Her usual sweet and receptive demeanor had completely shifted. Amy was wholly engrossed in my story and I found that simple reaction was making me spill out more details. Once she was completely up-to-date with what was happening within the world of Stefan, it took her another five minutes to be able to get a single word out.

"That is a lot to process in general, but I can only imagine what it must be like for you."

I bobbed my shoulders in a carefree shrug, but my face fell and gradually a substantial weight filled my body. It served as a reminder that no matter how easy it was becoming to pretend for a while, nothing had been resolved. Stefan was still an unsettled part of my past and until I found a way to truly deal with it, I'd never be able to simply forget about him.

Even this morning I had been lying to myself by thinking things were already fine without Stefan around. What I failed to bring to light was that in a pocket of my wallet sat every single note he had sent. The words were committed to memory the moment I read them, but even more important to consider was the way I genuinely treasured them.