A Broken Forever(47)

I refused to hold back the tears this time; Amy always told me that there are times you need to feel everything about the moment. No matter how badly it hurt, I needed to feel it all.

Stefan reached out and took my arms in his grasp and pulled me against his chest. His grip was so strong I had no way to simply back away.

"I couldn't fucking look at you, Greyson! It killed me! I saw what my silence was doing to you, but I couldn't stop! I would never forgive myself for falling asleep that night and every time I looked at you I saw you lying in the hospital. The way you were so bruised and broken, the way you fell apart when they told you Allie was gone. I saw the way you hurt and all I could think of was how I was the one who fucking hurt you!"

"I needed you, Stefan!"

His eyes searched mine, the tears behind those impeccable blues weren't going to stay at bay for long. "I wasn't strong enough to be what you needed, Greyson Rose. I thought of nothing while I was drinking but how badly I needed you. So many times I wanted to grab you and hold onto you until the pain went away."

"So why didn't you?" I cried out. Every night I wished for just that reaction but received nothing.

"Because I couldn't protect you! You and Allie were everything! I have never cared about anything the way I cared about you. When we lost her I felt that I was losing you too, and I convinced myself that was what I needed to do! I told myself I had to let you go."

"I didn't want you to let me go! I loved you Stefan, so much. But when you turned your back on me-I lost it all."

"I can't change what I did, but I can't let you go again. You don't understand how lost I'd be without you!"

"You haven't had me since the day we lost her! Why would it matter now?"

Rage erupted in his eyes. "I always planned to come back for you. I was waiting for the moment when I could find you and prove that I was worthy of your love. I would have found you and asked you to marry me right then and there, but when I saw you walking down the street I couldn't hide from my wrong doings any longer. That single moment awakened every feeling I had shoved aside and proved to me one thing-I can't lose you, Grey!" 

"You already let me go, Stefan! I've moved on! What we had was in the past-it's over!"

"No, it isn't!"

Suddenly his mouth was sealed over mine. My body melted, the beat of our hearts became in sync and no longer could I hear my own-just ours. Chills raced through my blood, a raging fire alit in my soul in a way I never imagined could happen. Our tears, our tongues, our lips-it was surreal. Nothing existed around us. The world swirled out of sight and all I felt was Stefan's mouth and body against mine.

His fingers wrapped around my curls while my hands tightened around his arm. I couldn't remember feeling more alive than I did right here in this moment.

Our lips broke apart and my fury was back. How dare he make me fall for him again! My hand released his arm and slapped hard across his face.

"You have no right to touch me!"

That didn't stop him, as he took hold of my arms once more. "Yes! Hit me, punch me-do your worst, Greyson Rose, but don't fucking leave. Don't tell me I've lost you! Nothing about that kiss said we're over, or that this is in the past. Please, Grey, please stay!"

"That kiss shouldn't have happened, Stefan! We're done and have been! Let it go!" He dropped to his knees and locked his hands around my wrists. I had never seen tears fall from his eyes like this before and I could feel his heart hurting as if it were my own.

"I can't," he whimpered out. "I can't let you go, Greyson Rose. Please don't walk away from me again."

I wasn't sure how I was still standing, but I knew I needed to leave before I lost all strength to move.

"I have to go, Stefan. You need to let me go-I'm going to marry Richard and I'm going to move on with my life."

I pulled my wrists free from his grasp and turned away from him to leave the room.

"Greyson, please, don't walk away from me again!"

I turned back to him, wiped the tears from my eyes and looked him dead in the eye. "You walked away from me long before I ever left you."

I left the room, shut the door and before I could make it to the elevator I heard Stefan yell out, "Damnit!"

My hand covered my mouth to try and contain the chest heaving cries. I ran from the office out to my car and sped off toward the salon. The tears and heaves didn't stop as I pulled up. I parked the car, ran in, and immediately was spotted by Kacie. She was in the middle of styling someone's hair.

"Kari, please finish up here. I am so sorry about this, ma'am." Thankfully the woman noticed me and wasn't offended by the change of hands.

Kacie ran to me, tucked me into her side and walked us to the break room where I collapsed into a puddle of heartache and agony. I didn't want to let him go for good, but sometimes, despite what may be in their hearts, some people just aren't meant to be.