To Love Honour and Disobey(9)

Dar es Salaam came into view. Finally. Big and busy and when would the  damn boat arrive to take them to Zanzibar? Seb was over the whole budget  tourist thing. Of course he could stop here-ditch the truck and its  passengers and go on his own road. But he couldn't bring himself to. Not  now the fire had been lit in him once more. He'd remain a slave to  temptation-bitten by the bug. He was enjoying her company too much to  walk away just yet. And there was that hint of hope, wasn't there? He  could see that look in her eye. So he couldn't leave.

It felt like for ever but finally Ana got off the boat and onto the  island of Zanzibar. She needed to rest. The lack of sleep she'd had last  night was messing with her reason and she was thinking things she  really shouldn't.

Tempting things. Wicked things.

Ever since he'd told her to stay away she'd felt the desire to do the  exact opposite. So she climbed into the waiting Jeep, moved along so he  could sit beside her and they were taken away from the bustling Stone  Town to one of the beaches on the far side of Zanzibar.                       
       
           



       

There were four bandas-huts-in a row and then another four behind those.  The rest of the budget resort consisted of a large open-air  bar/restaurant and an open-top toilet and shower facility. Basic at  best. But so incredibly beautiful.

She walked into the banda that had been assigned to her and Seb. An  A-frame made of wood and palm, its only furniture four built-in cot-like  beds-bare wooden frames with canvas stretching over them-hard and only a  fraction wider than single beds. There was no floor, just soft sand  underfoot. And a door made of the same mass of woven-together leaves.

She turned and found he was standing in the doorway behind her. The  weather gods had smiled upon her and he'd been in the mosquito net under  the stars outside her tent every night since that first. But their  tents and nets were back on the truck in Dar es Salaam and now there was  just this dim, spacious hut.

'I don't think we should share,' he said, arms folded across his chest. 'I'll see if there's room in anoth-'

'It's OK.' She avoided looking at him. They were adults. They could handle it.

Besides, there was no way they could both squash up on those cots. Not  without being on top of each other. But, oh, didn't she want just that?

No.

She stepped back at the same time as he and they avoided each other all  afternoon as if by tacit agreement. As the evening progressed they sat  on opposite sides of the bar and joined in the conversation with the  others. Ana didn't drink. Nor, she noted, did he. Too dangerous. Any  hint of intoxication would see her will sliding from her. Temptation  would be impossible to resist.

So she played it safer still, loitering in the bar until it was late,  changed into her sleepwear in the bathroom facility. Left it long enough  to be sure he'd be already tucked safely away.

She didn't look at him as she slid inside her thin silk sleeping bag.

'Goodnight, Ana.' He flicked the torch off.

'Night, Seb.'

The narrow cot creaked as she wriggled on it, bunching up her fleece  jumper again, trying to push it into more of a comfy pillow. Seb  muttered about the length of the hard little beds. Then silence.

Minutes that felt like hours later she knew he was still awake. Could  feel the awareness swirling between them in the room. She counted sheep,  thought happy thoughts, closed her eyes and consciously tried to relax  all her muscles.

Failed.

There was nothing else for it. They were just going to have to do more of what they'd been too busy to do before.

Talk.

'Seb?'

'Mmm-hmm.'

'Are you awake?'

'Obviously.'

She grinned in the darkness and rolled onto her side to face him. 'Did you tell your parents you got married?'

'Hell, no,' he laughed.

'Why not?'

'Well, for one thing you walked out before I had the chance. And for  another they have enough failed marriages between them not to need me  adding to the tally.'

'Your parents are divorced?'

'Three times each. Mum is on her fourth marriage now. Dad'll no doubt play catch-up soon.'

Ana wished like hell she could see his face right now. 'You're kidding.'

'Would I make that up?' Wow.

What an experience. 'When did they divorce each other?' He sighed. 'Do you really want to know this?'

'Yes.' 'They separated when I was twelve. Mum got married again that  year. Dad the year after that. They both divorced again the year after  that. To be honest, then I start to lose track.'

'What happened to you?'

'What do you mean what happened to me?' Defensive as ever there was.

'Who did you live with?'

'I split my time between them.'

Ana winced. She hadn't had the greatest home life-but at least it had  been stable. One house, one lot of guardians. 'What were the  step-parents like?'

'They varied.' 'Did you have stepbrothers or sisters?'

'Occasionally. For a while.' His answer was supposed to be a conversation closer.

But she ignored it, because that must have been hard, because it  explained just a little about him. 'But you don't have other siblings.'

'No.'

Utterly closed now and, as if to reinforce it, he pushed the questions  onto her. 'What about you? How did your aunt and uncle take it?'

'I've never told them,' she said baldly, still thinking over his revelations.

'Really?' He grunted. 'When did you last see them?'

'Oh, I don't know. Over a year ago.'

'Over a year ago? As in before it happened?'                       
       
           



       

'Yeah.' She shrugged off his incredulity in the darkness. 'We're not close.'

'Obviously.' She could hear his frown. 'Things really were bad for you, weren't they?'

Oh, so he was thinking she had it worse than him now? Her heart lifted a  notch. 'Not that bad, Seb. I was fed, clothed. But I just didn't fit  in.' She hadn't been physically neglected, but she had been emotionally  abandoned-and hurt. 'I wasn't what they wanted and I couldn't figure out  how to be what they wanted.' She'd tried so hard for so long but it had  never been enough. They hadn't wanted her, or loved her. 'We send the  odd email.' She sighed. 'It wasn't their fault-they didn't ask to be  landed with me. They did their best in a bad situation.'

'You're too generous. They should have loved to have you. They should  have loved you.' There was a long pause. 'You were too generous with me,  too.'

Why, because she'd wanted to give him her heart? Because she'd believed  in the happy ever after? At least now his attitude towards it made more  sense. He must have thought she was so naïve.

'I'm sorry I hurt you,' he said quietly.

She could actually smile and shake her head. 'It wasn't all your fault.'  And it wasn't-some of what had happened could never have been  predicted. 'I said yes, didn't I? If I hadn't been so foolish it  wouldn't have happened at all.' She'd wanted to believe so badly that  someone could love her-that someone could fall completely in love with  her like that. Oh, yes, totally fairy tale. Totally naïve. But she  looked back on it with less of the total cringe factor now. Because  while it hadn't been love, there had been no denying the lust-there was  still no denying the lust. 'You were like this pirate-swooping in and  taking what you wanted.'

'Yeah, well, I've learned my lesson.'

And maybe he had. He certainly wasn't pushing for what he wanted now.  Even though a tiny part of her wanted him to, the rest of her actually  respected him for it.

She pondered what he'd told her, couldn't stop another question going  into the personal. 'Is that why you do divorce cases? Because of your  parents?'

'Partly. I'd always wanted to go into law, and dispute resolution seemed  the natural specialty, seeing I had a lot of practice with it.'

Practice in dispute resolution? It must have been ugly with his folks.

He sighed. 'People need saving from themselves.'

'People like us, you mean,' she chuckled.

'Ugh.' She heard movement and something landed with precision on her face. 'Enough. Now go to sleep.'

It was his shirt. She scrunched it up and stuffed it under her head  together with the fleece. Told herself she was happier purely because of  the comfort factor, not that she was getting giddy on the delicious  pheromones.

Chapter Five

ANA walked across the stretch of sand and looked to the horizon. The  colour of the water was hypnotic and she felt her limbs go supple. Her  falling for him again was as inevitable as the autumnal leaf falling to  the ground. But this time she'd choose her landing spot. This time she  would float herself down and not be buffeted about by the compelling  force that was Sebastian Rentoul. This time, if there was to be a this  time, it had to be on her terms.

She looked at the never-ending blue and knew what she wanted. And what  she didn't want. She was a different person from the naïve romantic  she'd been back then. She had strength born of experience. And for once  she wanted to have things her way.