To Love Honour and Disobey(6)

For an instant neither moved.

'I'm on breakfast duty.' She was too close. Her fault. She yanked on her  shorts and grabbed her bikini top. She'd slip it on under the sloppy  tee behind a tree or something. Just as he sat up she escaped, ignoring  him when he called her name again.

But she trembled as those senses she had thought had been dulled roared back into life: sight, smell, sound, touch.

Taste. She ached to taste.

How could she still want to? How could she when she knew getting close  like that before had meant nothing to him and everything to her? When  she'd been through something so terrible because of her affair with him?  How was it possible?

But her body wasn't listening to her brain, wasn't interested in those  memories. No, the muscles were remembering something else. The weight,  the sensation, the pleasure that his body had pulled from hers haunted  her now. Her body yearned for it again. Uncaring of what the  consequences had been before.

She walked to the heart of the campsite where Bundy already had the fire  going and the billy boiling. She poured a cup of tea and drank it hot  and black, wincing at the burn on her lips and the roof of her mouth.  The superficial pain was a good reminder-that she didn't need any more  of the real kind.                       
       
           



       

Breakfast was over in a rush. She didn't look at Seb. Her muttered  'thanks' barely audible when she saw he'd packed up the tent and had her  pack ready alongside his.

The Jeeps arrived to take them to the rim of the Ngorohgoro Crater. She  jumped up from the grass and walked towards them, but Seb was beside her  before she'd taken two paces. His eyes danced as he tossed everything  of theirs into the back.

Ana fidgeted, longing to fall back on her old defence-to run. But here  there was no escape-not when he held the door and then climbed in right  beside her.

The road was the most appalling surface she'd ever been on. Craters  instead of tracks, cavernous potholes, mud dried harder than concrete  all combined to jerk the Jeep from side to side and had them all  suspended in the air above their seats several times. Seb simply reached  up above and held onto the frame of the Jeep, and put his other arm  around Ana, pulling her into his side, steadying her. But she'd have  been better off bumping against the steel frame, because he felt harder,  more solid than any metal framing.

Finally they got to the campsite near the top of the crater rim. The  Jeep pulled up and they spilled out. Tomorrow they'd go in and see the  wildlife. Ana could hardly wait-she had some live lion feed to toss over  the side.

Seb stretched the cramps out and watched Ana walk a distance towards the  lounge facility. He couldn't stop walking after her as he saw her take  off her tee shirt. Wearing just a bikini top, with low-slung cotton  shorts, her incredible body was open to view. How could she possibly  think those legs were too long?

He lengthened his strides, took them faster, reached for her arm and  turned her. Her cheeks were lightly flushed. The blue of her eyes shone  bright and deep and she watched him as slowly, deliberately, he looked  down her length.

'What is that?' He cleared his throat. Hadn't realised he was hoarse.

'What?'

He pointed a finger at her belly button. 'That.'

'Oh.'

He watched with masculine pleasure as the colour deepened under the skin of her cheeks. 'A navel piercing.'

Yeah, he knew that, but it felt damn good to see her react to him like  that-knowing she still felt something too. Because his body was going  out of control. 'When?'

'A few months ago.'

'Why?'

She looked about to roll her eyes like some sulky teen caught out using  peroxide for the first time. 'It was a suggestion in a self-help book.  Do something out of character-like get a tattoo or a piercing. I went  for the non-permanent option.'

'You did it because a book said to?' He wanted to laugh but he was too busy staring. 'What sort of a book is that?'

'Quite a good one, actually.'

'So you're empowered now?'

'Assertive.'

He did laugh then, for just a second. Ana was assertive? As if. Then he  sobered and couldn't resist touching. He pressed his hand flat to her  belly, the navel ring centred between his thumb and forefinger. He felt  her muscles quiver, felt the warmth of her skin. Felt the need for her  bite harder. 'Did it hurt?'

He lifted his gaze for her reply.

'No.' The challenge was back in her voice. 'I've been through worse.'

The blue of her eyes was incredibly deep-ultramarine-and way too easy to drown in. And he was so close to kissing her.

If she was assertive, as she reckoned, he'd probably get a slap for it.  And he deserved it, didn't he? Because she'd taken their marriage  seriously when he'd intended it to be a fun fling, never a forever kind  of deal. He'd thought it was obvious, a holiday romance on steroids, but  looking back he knew they'd been too busy sleeping together instead of  talking about what they actually wanted. And still he wanted to sleep  with her. The fire still burned-even now, months after she'd walked out.

'Uh.' He scrambled for words, any kind of coherent thought so he wouldn't make a fool of himself. 'What did your mum say?'

She blinked, obviously surprised. 'About the navel ring? Seb,' she laughed-a humourless choke. 'My mum's dead.'

It was Seb's turn to blink. Was that a recent thing? He'd had no idea. 'Hell, Ana, I'm sorry.'

'It's OK. It was a long time ago.'

'Oh.' He matched her small smile and aimed to lighten. 'So what did your dad say?'

Her smile faded. He should have known better-total foot-in-mouth syndrome.

'They died together in an accident, Seb. I was six.'

Seb sucked in a breath. 'Ana, that's terrible.'                       
       
           



       

She stepped back, was going to walk away. But he didn't want her to walk  away. He wanted to know now-ask all the questions he hadn't bothered  with before. Maybe then he could understand her more. And his hand was  cold now it wasn't touching her. 'Who did you go to, then?'

'My mother's brother and his wife.'

Seb walked slowly beside her, wary about asking the obvious but unable to resist. 'Are they nice?'

She stopped walking. 'You really want to know, Seb?'

He nodded.

She shook her head. 'I was the stereotypical lonely orphan. They already  had two children of their own-perfect little blonde things. I just  didn't fit in. Could never make the grade. And I was grieving. I guess I  made it difficult for them right from the start. I closed up. I was  hard work.'

She was smiling, a touch of sarcasm acting as cover-up, but Seb got the  glimpse of a pain that just had to run deep. 'You were six. You had a  right to grieve. You were lost. They should have found you.'

She should have been brought safely home. And Seb understood what it was  not to be wanted-hadn't he had that vibe from a step-parent or two?  'Did it get better? Did you get on with your cousins?'

'Not really.'

It had got worse, huh?

'I left home as soon as I could.'

Definitely worse.

'What about you? You have brothers and sisters?'

Seb hesitated. Where to begin on any of that nightmare? Yeah, he knew  how hard it was to try to get along with other kids you had nothing in  common with but that you had to live with because of the adults in your  life. In his case it was because of the marriages-and remarriages-of his  parents. But that was too big a can of worms and he went for the easy  option. 'No.' He looked at her, waited for her to look at him. 'Jeez, we  really didn't know each other at all, did we?'

She held his gaze for a moment. Then laughed and turned away. 'I don't  think we wanted to. I think we were both too happy in our own la-la  lands.'

He laughed at that. It was true. It had been such madness. 'But it was  good, wasn't it?' He couldn't resist pointing it out. 'What we did  have.'

There was a slight rise of her shoulders-and a total avoidance of  answer. As a result he was compelled by the need to press her for more.  'So why did you come to Africa? Did you send the divorce papers and then  run away?' That was a talent of hers, wasn't it-running away?

'I didn't run away. I wanted an adventure. One that I was in control of.'

As opposed to the adventure they'd had together? The one in which  neither of them had been in control? 'Were you going to see me when you  got back?'

'No.'

She'd sent him the divorce papers, a brief note outlining her plans and  asking for the paperwork to be sent to her new lawyer. She hadn't wanted  to see him; she'd hoped he'd simply sign and send it all away. 'You're a  coward, Ana.'

She was silent for a moment. Then he saw her chin go up. 'I was. For a  long time I was,' she agreed quietly. 'But I'm not any more.'

Ana spent the late afternoon reading in the shade and ignoring the  football game Seb had organised amongst the lads. She didn't need  reminding of how fit he was. She was already spending far too much time  thinking of his incredible sex drive.