Taking What's His(44)

Heart racing, she stared down at the drawing, blinking back tears. He’d gotten her a lovely depiction of her favorite couple from Doctor Who, in her favorite scene. The fact that he’d remembered her passing remark about this being her favorite part of the show made her heart melt. Heck, it made her melt.

She should literally be a puddle of goo at his feet right now.

“This is…” She trailed her fingers over the glass, staring down at David Tennant and Billie Piper. “Perfect. It’s just perfect. Thank you.”

He sat beside her and rested a hand on her thigh. “No, thank you. For way too long, I’ve believed that being alone was the thing for me. That I couldn’t trust anyone, or let anyone in. But then I met you, and for the first time ever…I want to do it. I want to let you in.”

She gripped the picture frame. “You mean…like, a real couple or something?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.” He clasped her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. “I’m a hot fucking mess. I get migraines and nightmares, and I don’t really believe in happy endings for guys like me. I’ve done horrible things I will never talk about.”

“Holt…” she whispered, her heart wrenching. “You know—”

He held his hand up. “And, yes, I know you deserve more than I can give you, but will you be mine anyway?”

She blinked rapidly, fighting to keep the tears back, and set the picture down on the table safely. Turning to him, she framed his face with both of her hands. “Y-Yes. I’d love to be yours, but just so you know? I already was.”

He dragged her onto his lap and kissed her, just as he’d done plenty of times before. But this time it felt different. As his mouth melded to hers, she melted into him, and figured out why it felt different. This kiss was filled with wonder and tenderness.

And so much more.

When he ended the kiss, he pulled back and smiled at her. “So it’s official, then? We’re dating?”

“I guess so,” she said, running her thumb over his cheekbone. “Now what do we do? Tell people?”

He groaned. “Can we not? I just know that this is all so new to me, and having your brother glaring over my shoulder as I try to figure out the way to be a good boyfriend…”

Part of her felt let down that he didn’t want to tell anyone, like she was some dirty little secret or something, but the other part of her understood. Mostly.

“Then we won’t tell anyone,” she said, forcing a smile. “But at some point, provided you decide to stick around, we’re going to have to let people know.”

He looked more relieved at being let off the hook than she would have liked. “Okay, good. And we will tell them, eventually. I promise.”

“Right.” She swallowed hard and focused on the picture again, trying to ignore the part of her that was upset. “Sounds good.”

He captured her chin and turned it toward him. “Hey, why so sad?”

“I’m not sad,” she said quickly.

“Yes, you are. Don’t lie to me.” His fingers flexed on her chin. “You want to tell Steven. That’s what it is, right?”

She bit down on her lip. “Yeah. It’s just…it almost feels like you’re hiding me because you’re ashamed. Like you don’t want to admit you like his annoying little sister, or whatever.”

“No. That’s not it at all.” He shook his head and sighed. “If anything, it’s the other way around. I know you deserve better than me, and you can bet your ass Steven knows, too. Not to mention the fact that he specifically told me to stay the hell away from you. There’s that, too.”

She winced. “I know, and I get the bro-code. I do. But…if you really want to be with me…”

“I’d tell him,” he finished flatly.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

He let go of her and dragged his hands down his face. “All right. I’ll do it tomorrow at lunch. It’s a Friday, so it’ll give him the whole weekend to get over his urge to kill me before I see him again.”

“Really?” she asked, her heart picking up speed. “Want me to be there?”

“No.” He blew out a breath. “I think this is something that’s better done on my own, in case he decides to kill me right away. You won’t want to watch that.”

She winced. “He won’t kill you.”

“Yeah, he probably will.” A grin lit up his face, and he yanked on her legs till she was flat on her back on the couch. Without wasting a second, he was on her, his body covering hers. “But it’ll be worth every single moment of pain. You’re worth it.”