Shelter Me Home(12)

Aanon was finishing the last few cuts of bear roast on a meat saw. He  wrapped them deftly in thick brown paper and sealed it with a sticker  before writing the cut of meat onto the package with a sharpie. He had  to have known she was there, but he kept working without missing a beat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No."

She crossed her arms and nodded. "Fine." Turning back at the door, she said over her shoulder, "I'm glad you're back safe."

"Wait." He stood in the shelter of the barn, illuminated by the ATV  lights with his sleeves rolled up and his hands covered in red. The  sharpie thunked against the table as he tossed it, pulled his hat off,  and threw it against the wall. "I don't know how to do this. I've never  had a friend that was a girl, and I worry about your damned pregnancy  more than I ought to. When I got the call from Doc Jansen this morning I  panicked. It's on me to make sure you're okay through the winter. It's a  lot of pressure. Two weeks ago, all I had to worry about was myself,  and now it's like I have this instant family to provide for, and I'm  barely treading water in my own life, Farrah."

His throat worked as he swallowed, and his piercing blue eyes held hers frozen.

"Okay." Farrah sank onto an old bench against the wall. "Okay," she  repeated, unsure how to tackle his fears. "You haven't had a friend that  was a girl before, and that's okay. I'll carry that part for us, all  right? I've had boys that were friends, and we never had an intimate  relationship. The only benefit we got from each other was friendship.  The biggest problem with what you're going through is that you are  taking it upon yourself to provide for me, but you're failing to give me  any credit. You haven't had to do as much around her lately, right?"

Inhaling a steadying breath, he nodded.

"Okay, that's because I'm helping. We're a team, not a family. You  aren't responsible for me or my baby. If you feel pressure to hunt,  fine. Take me with you. Let me help or teach me how to do it on my own. I  would've gone with you this morning if you would've let me."
                       
       
           



       
Hands resting on hips, he cocked his head. "You would've?"

"Yes. I'm from here, remember? I have experience with Alaskan winters,  and trust me when I say, I've gone hungry. I don't want to do that ever  again. And I don't want to take your food, Aanon. Tell me what to do,  and I'll learn it. I'll do it."

"We're a team," he said, more statement than question.

"Yes, and I can tell you what doesn't work in a friendship. Ignoring a  problem and letting it fester when we could just talk and sort it out.  This morning? You tore out of here, pissed off at me for something I had  no guess at, and you didn't even tell me where you'd be hunting. If you  didn't come back tonight, I wouldn't even have a clue where to send a  search team. There is a difference between having to answer to someone  and thinking about safety."

He worried a dark spot on the wooden floors with the toe of his boot and  looked up with an irritating grin. "You were worried about me."

"Yeah, you idiot. You went hunting freaking bears."

"Yeah, but it was black bear, not brown bear."

"All I hear is bear." Standing, she wiped the seat of her pants until  the dust had rattled loose. "Congratulations on a successful hunt. I'm  going to go wash the smell of beer and desperation off of me and go to  bed."

"Desperation?" he called. "Was Ben at Briney's tonight?"

"Yep. I told him I'd go out with him for coffee tomorrow if he swore to back off with the Dweeb apologies."

"Wait. You're going out with him?"

"For coffee in the middle of the day. I'm not exactly getting laid,  Falk." Over her shoulder she said, "Friends can say that kind of stuff  by the way," and shut her door behind her.

Something crashed in the barn, but when she looked out the window, Aanon  was walking back to the big house like nothing was amiss.

****

It took an act of congress to get the water heated up to wash dishes.  There were a few things that living off the grid made irritating, and  generators and tiny hot water heaters were one of them.

And when the water did turn hot, it was like instant lava. "Ow," Aanon hissed, shaking his fingers to cool them.

Setting his plate in the suds, he looked up and froze.

Farrah had fastened fabric in front of the windows to shield her bath.  The fabric, however, wasn't nearly thick enough. A perfect silhouette  danced across the large front windows.

Dammit, this was the part where he was supposed to be honorable and look  away. Avert his eyes or turn around or bury his face in a pillow, or  for God's sake, take the truck into town and drown the beautiful image  assaulting his eyes with cheap whiskey. But no. He sat there staring  like some middle school peeping tom.

Petit and slim, the outline of perfect perky breasts bobbed as she  tested the warmth of the water in the tub. The curve of her back was  enough to make him want to bite and kiss every square inch of her flesh.  Adjusting the discomfort that pressed against the seam of his pants, he  leaned forward and squeezed his eyes closed. What was he doing?

She was his friend. "Teammate, teammate, teammate," he chanted as he  waited for the strain of his arousal to go down. It didn't help. It had  been so long since a woman had affected him so thoroughly.

Turning his back to the window, he gripped the sink behind him and  leaned back on locked elbows. "Good God," he groaned. How was he  supposed to dip back into the friend zone with such an erotic image of  her in his mind? Something about the way she moved. She was so damned  sexy, and she didn't even know it. Even the tiny swell of her stomach  made him want to bury himself inside her.

Monster. Farrah would be embarrassed if she knew he had seen her. And  there was Erin. Squatting down on the tile, he locked his fingers behind  his head. He had to make things with Erin work, or he would lose  everything that was important to him.

Maybe it would be best if Farrah started dating Ben.

He wanted to throw the shovel against the barn wall all over again. Ben  was a nice guy, but he was a lady killer. He'd chew Farrah up and spit  her out like nothing. He wouldn't care that she was hurt by what that  a-hole Miles had done to her. Hell, Ben would probably do the same thing  in Miles's place. He wouldn't care that by hurting Farrah, he'd hurt  her baby. Hurt their chance at a real family. She'd hate men even more  after Ben was done with her.

But …

If she dated him, she'd be off limits, and maybe he could get control of  his emotions again. He could stop comparing the life he could have with  Farrah against the life he'd had with Erin. He could quit feeling sorry  for the choices he'd made and man up. Take care of his business. Keep  his head down and earn the money he needed to dig himself out of the  hole he'd fallen face first into three years ago. That was still the  most important thing.                       
       
           



       

Going insane over a woman wasn't in the plan to get his life back.

****

Farrah went into town to get her blood retested by Doctor Jansen, and  when she returned, the cattleman's cabin had been tampered with.

Unless thieves were interested in installing curtains and blinds, Aanon  had been doing some home improvements. Astonished, she lifted the forest  green curtains away from the blinds. When she opened those, she frowned  at the thick poster board he'd taped to the window panes. "What on  earth?"

The door still stood open, and she stood near the frame, studying the  big house. The kitchen windows faced her place. She'd nailed up cotton  sheets to shield her activities inside. So why would he care about  plastering three layers onto the windows?

Unless-

What had she done last night? Yep, she'd totally bathed in front of the  window, thinking she'd taken the right measures to shield herself. Heat  that could rival flame shot up her neck and landed in her cheeks. He'd  seen her naked. Or if he hadn't seen her skin, he'd at least seen her  silhouette.

"Oh, my gosh," she whispered, slumping onto a crude bench on the front  porch. How was this not going to be awkward next time she saw him?  Dropping her chin to her chest, she searched for the tiny baby bump that  she'd noticed in the mirror the day before. Another round of nausea  worked its way from her stomach to her throat. He was probably grossed  out and never wanted to see her like that again.

"Stop it," Aanon called from the porch of the big house.

How long had he been standing there, leaned up against a wooden column like he hadn't a care in the world?