Out of The Dark (The Grey Wolves #4)(30)

Even though Jen knew it was going to hurt she had to roll her eyes at her mate's words. "Here we go with that crap again. Would you like to get me a bell for my collar so you can know when I move?"
Decebel grinned as he opened the door. "That's a good idea, baby, thank you for the suggestion. See? I knew we would make a great team."
Jen growled – well, as much of a growl as she could muster with the pain – and muttered under her breath, "You'll be thinking great team when I'm wrapping the collar around your -"
"What was that, love?" Decebel was standing just outside the door with Jacque and Sally staring at her with knowing smiles.
"I said we will – are..." Jen was scrambling for words and finally just settled for, "Go team?"
Jacque and Sally were now laughing while Decebel stared at her through knowing eyes and tapped his ears, making it clear he could hear her muttering just fine. Jen made a most unlady-like gesture.
It only caused Sally and Jacque to laugh harder when Decebel responded with, "That'll have to wait until you're healed, baby. One thing at a time."
Jen's scowl deepened and she finally gave up sparring with her mate and glared at her two best friends. "You two hyenas get your giggling asses in here and shut up."
Jacque and Sally left the door open – as instructed by Decebel, of course – as they walked toward Jen's bed.
"I need to talk to you two," Jen whispered.
"That's why we came in," Jacque also whispered.
"Why are we whispering?" Sally added.
"Because you can bet your gypsy behind that eagle ears out there is listening to every sound I make. So bring yourselves closer, this is important."
"First, you need to know that Decebel got his memories back."
"WHAT?" Jacque sort of whisper-hollered.
"How?" Sally asked in a louder voice.
"Shhh.” Jen batted her hand at them. “He loves me," she said in a 'duh' sort of tone.
"Just like that? He went from 'we will make the best of it' to 'now I love you'?"
"I don't really know how it happened, I was asleep. But when I woke up he was sitting there staring at me like I was the best thing since sliced bread. And I knew. I knew he recognized me. I don't know if I have ever been so relieved in my life."
"I'm so happy for you, Jen. You've been through hell and I can't imagine what it would be like for your mate to not know you." Jacque said soberly.
"Well, it was crap, that's for sure. But I have more important things to discuss." 
"More important than Decebel loving you?" Sally looked incredulous.
Sally and Jacque both huddled close to Jen, attempting to keep from touching her, but at that moment Jen didn't care about pain – she needed her friends' support in this. Jen grabbed both their wrists and pulled them even closer.
"I've made a decision," Jen whispered to her two best friends.
Jacque and Sally held very still as they waited for Jen to continue. They could see on her face that this decision left a very rotten taste in her mouth.
"This sounds perilously close to a declaration we're going to think is impetuous and idiotic," Sally whispered roughly, raising an eyebrow.
Jen shushed her as she rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. Once you guys hear my reasons I think you'll understand."
"That right there tells me we are wholeheartedly gonna think you're full of shit," Jacque growled as softly as she could.
Jen didn't realize she was fumbling with the blanket in her hands until Sally laid her hand over them, stilling them. She looked up and clenched her jaw, her eyes narrowed, and though she was very weak, she tried to come across as firm and confident. Based on their looks she wasn't fooling them. Deciding there was nothing more she could do to show them she meant business, she spoke softly, but firmly.
"I'm not going to complete the mate bond and I'm not doing the Blood Rites."
Jacque and Sally, who had been leaning forward in order to hear her, stood up abruptly, as if a strong wind had forced them back. Both girls' mouths fell open. Jen waited and waited...and waited some more. Just when she thought they'd both had aneurysms, Jacque broke the silence by laughing hysterically.
"Shhh." Jen waved her hands in the air trying to get Jacque to shut up. "Shut your pie hole, wolf princess.”
Sally looked from Jacque to Jen and then joined in. Both girls laughed until they had tears streaming down their cheeks. Jen finally gave up trying to shut them up and just waited until they regained their composure.
"Oh, man," Jacque said, wiping the wetness from her face. "Good times, Jen. Good times."
"Why the hell were you two laughing at me like a third nipple had sprouted on my forehead?"
Jacque snorted. "That's pretty funny, too, but the first thing was classic."
Jen waited for an explanation.
This time Jacque didn't whisper. "If you think the man who spent the past few weeks going through hell is going to let you get away so easily, you have not been paying attention." Jacque pursed her lips. "After finding out you were dying and beyond his reach; after going against his very nature and protecting the pack before his mate; after spending those weeks with most of his life forgotten, his mate forgotten, therefore half of his soul missing; after all that, you really think he's just going to smile, pat you on the back, and say 'have a nice life, Jen'?"
Jen started to protest but Sally held a hand up to stop her, and it was she that continued the rant Jacque had started. "Through the bond, he felt you – a stranger to him, nevertheless he was undeniably drawn to you. He felt you slipping away and, even though he didn't understand what you were to him, he knew that he would die before he let you pass from this world to the next. I watched as he saw Costin carrying you through the forest. I watched as he was prepared to kill anyone who came near you. He helped me do CPR on you, he cleaned you, clothed you, and never left your side. He fed you his blood, he sang to you, he brushed your hair, he talked to you, and Decebel – that huge, brooding, emotionless brute – as he watched you lay on that very floor, " Sally pointed to where Jen had lain dead, "lifeless, he still didn't give up. Crying, he refused to let you go. He told you he would not lose you and he didn't. So if you think after all that he's just going to take this lying down, then you are making that hair of yours proud, as you more than fulfill the role of the dumbass blonde."Jen was shaking her head from side to side as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"If we bond and something happens to me, he will die." Jen's voice was soft, broken. "I can't handle the idea of something happening to him because of me. I still want to be with him, but I don't want his soul bound to mine. I won't be responsible for his death."
"Normally, Jen, I would bet on you any day of the week. But this time," Jacque said, shaking her head, "this time I bet on the wolf."
Jen cringed as she felt a sharp pain in her heart. Not a physical pain, exactly, but every bit as brutal.
All three girls looked at the doorway when they heard a low growl. Decebel stood there, his huge shoulders blocking the entire opening. His eyes were glowing, his breathing was labored, and he looked like he had murder on his mind.
Jacque looked from Jen to Decebel and a wicked grin spread across her face.
"Sally, get me some popcorn. This is payback for all the times Jen stuck her nose in my business with my mate." Jacque's grin was downright feral.
Jen dropped her head. It was then that Jacque realized just how much of a toll this decision had taken on her friend.
"It goes against nature, Jen. You both will suffer." Jacque ran her hand down Jen's blonde hair as she looked into her blue eyes. "He was created for you. Let him love you. Let him take care of you. If you deny the bond it will rip your heart in two."
"But he will live." Though the look in Jen's eyes showed her already-breaking heart, Jen's voice was full of steel, showing just how dead-set she was on her decision.
"We love you," Sally told her as she grabbed Jacque's hand and pulled her toward the door.
As they waited for Decebel to let them pass, he turned to look at Sally and Jacque, who both cringed under his glare.
"Congrats on remembering your mate, Dec," Jacque tossed out as she squeezed past the thoroughly pissed-off wolf.
"We were just leaving," Sally squeaked.
Decebel turned back to Jennifer, not bothering to acknowledge their words. He stepped aside and then the door shut and silence descended. After a short pause, he walked toward his mate. The need to touch her nearly overwhelmed him, making his wolf edgy.
He pulled a chair close to her bed. He laid his forearms on the comforter and gently placed his hands on her thigh. At first he didn't speak. He just stared at her with those glowing amber eyes. Jen began to fidget under his scrutiny. She looked down at his large hands on her leg, hands capable of crushing bone, but that were always so gently with her.
"Look at me, Jennifer." His voice was gentle but his words were a command.
Jennifer hesitated, but finally raised her eyes to meet his. He reached up with one hand and cupped her face. Jen let out a slow breath at the contact. Without a thought, she nuzzled her cheek closer into his hand and she smiled when Decebel let out a low growl. 
"You think to keep yourself from me." It wasn't a question.
Jen didn't deny his words.
"Why?" he asked.