Obsession, Loving An Alpha Male(68)

So the day we were looking at the house I had a great vibe from it. Josh, on the other hand, kept talking about all the work he would have to do before it would be ‘move in ready’.

“I want this house, Josh. It’s close to your parents, and yet, I still get the same view as the house in Maryland. We’re by the beach, so we still have the scenery.”

Josh looked at me. “Sweets, I get it, but it needs a lot of work; the floors need to be redone, the bathrooms, paint, and that’s just for starters. And really do you need this much room?”

I looked at him and burst out crying. I mean, I full–fledged cried. The relator stopped dead in his tracks and looked from me to Josh and frowned at Josh. Josh was stunned, and hell, so was I.

“Sweets, baby…” he cooed and walked toward me, but I backed away.

“Give me a good reason why we can’t have this house. It’s not too big for the family you wanted, and we would have spare bedrooms for people that would come and visit us.” I sniffled then started balling again. I added in between sobs, “Please, just don’t say no right away…”

Josh moved close to me and put his arms around my waist. He kissed my forehead and wiped my eyes.

“Alright, Sweets, we’ll take it.”

“Really… I mean, we’ll do it. We’ll buy the house?”

“Yes… You know I’ll do anything for you. So if you want this house, it’s yours.”

In the end, Josh was right of course, the house did need some work, and we invested a hell of a lot of money, but to me it was worth it. And the owners came down on the price too, which Josh was happy about.

The other two times I lost it was once when we were going out to dinner. I was running late of course, and I was trying to rush and get dressed. When I tried to put on my bra, it wouldn’t fit. I mean, I tried at least eight bras, and I was over flowing in them all.

When Josh came up to check on me, I was sitting on the bed crying my eyes out.

I knew it took all of him not to laugh when I told him what happened, but all he said to me was, “Tomorrow we can go out and buy new bras.”

I knew he thought I was crazy, and so did I actually. My therapist wasn’t any help giving me psychobabble that didn’t make sense or I couldn’t relate to. I wasn’t feeling any of the things she described that I ‘must be going through’. I was fine right up until the second I wasn’t.

The last draw happened when we had a family dinner at his parents’ house. I was making the sauce for lasagna, and Josh came in the kitchen and sampled the sauce. Now normally I ask him to taste it, and he’d tell me a little more oregano or more salt or garlic. But today when he told me I needed more oregano, I burst into tears.

After he said that, he got cussed out in Italian by his mom. His sister threw an apple at him, and Malcolm gave him the deadliest look I had ever seen.

I felt bad for him, I did, and I tried to tell them it was okay, but I couldn’t stop crying.

That night when we were laying in the bed, Josh whispered in my ear… “When’s the last time you had your period?”

It was crazy because I really couldn’t tell him, and I burst into tears again….

Needless to say, Josh was happy and relieved that I was pregnant. He was starting to lose his mind with all the crying. Funny thing though, once I found out I was pregnant, the crying bought stopped.

Okay so what else….

Oh yes, so I haven’t spoken to my father since the day I got engaged or my sister Latisha for that matter. What I can say is, my mom and I are getting better. We go to counseling together when she comes at least once a month to visit me. Rasheda and I are okay, but I know she is of the same mindset as Latisha as far as the attention I got as a kid.

Josh tells me not to worry about them. He agrees with Wayne that they’re just jealous, but again, I didn’t see it until he said to me…

“Just look at all the times they did something conniving. Anytime you accomplished something, they found a way to take that joy away from you mainly because they couldn’t do half of what you’re capable of. You said one sister is now working as your dad’s assistant, your old job, and the other is dating your ex best friend. They probably couldn’t wait to get you out of the way. If you can’t see that they want what you have so badly; I don’t know how else to show you.”

I never thought of it that way, but I guess he had a point.

The highlight of my life, or one of them, was the day I met my maternal grandparents, my aunts and uncles and my cousins. I was a ball of emotions that day. I mean, I cried so much I exhausted myself more than the pregnancy was already doing.

It was so refreshing to see like minds. To see family that looked like me, talked like me and had the same brain as me. I instantly connected with them as if I was their child and not my moms. I speak to them every day, especially my grandfather, who every chance he gets tries to get me to work for him. Josh however isn’t having it.

I introduced two of my cousins, Tessa and Vince to Nickel’s virtual game, so we communicate that way all the time. I don’t know how well my mom’s relationship is going with her siblings and parents, but from what I can see, they seem to be on a mend.

My mom and dad didn’t get a divorce. When she and I talk though, we don’t bring him into the conversation at all. Curtis, my brother, turned out to be employed by Josh, so I see him all the time. We have reconnected, and I swear, he’s just as protective of me as Josh’s brothers are. I wish every day that he was like this with me back when I was growing up, and he admits that same thing to me every day. It’s like he’s trying to make up for lost times, and well hell, I let him.

Josh has been on a couple of assignments overseas, but for the most part, he’s close to me. He travels to his office once a week, but mostly he works with his team in an office he has on a naval base close to Virginia Beach. I still get nervous when he leaves, but he has figured out a way to make me feel somewhat better when he travels. I am currently his Financial Specialist. My job is to track the money of different companies or persons involved in funding terrorists. I hinted before I had connections with overseas banks and could probably get answers and information a lot faster than he could.

I’ve proven myself time and time again, which is another reason why he won’t let me go work for my grandfather. Even his bosses told him he’d better not mess up at home and lose his best asset. Nickels also joined the group, so he knows he has the best team the government has ever had.

There were a few weird things I noticed that to this day has me questioning a lot. First, I got an official apology from the CIA, go figure. Josh allowed two members of the agency to meet with me, with him, Shane and Malcolm, my bodyguards, present of course. Can I just say that Shane is so freaking hot? I mean, I would never tell Josh this, but I’ve blushed being around Shane more than I have with Josh… whew… Anyway, so they asked me a few questions about the kidnapping; who shot first, how they got me to New Jersey.

I told them the moment I stepped on the sidewalk in front of my apartment building someone came out of the door. I looked up and moved to the side, and someone came up from behind me and grabbed me. I managed to get out of the hold, something that Josh taught me, but the guy that came out of the apartment put a gun to my head and told me not to move. Next thing I knew, two cars stopped in front of us, and I saw Diane and a few other jump out yelling for them to get down.

I couldn’t tell them what happened next because someone started firing at Diane and her people from another direction, and the guy holding me was shooting back. I closed my eyes and tried to get away, but I was grabbed and shoved into a car and we drove away.

I didn’t look at Josh when I said, “I was surprised to see Stanley in the middle of the street with a gun in his hand. I take it he works for you, too?”

Of course Josh didn’t reply, and when I asked the CIA if Diane was going to be held accountable for my kidnapping they looked at me strangely. I, in turn, looked at Josh then Shane then Malcolm.

I asked, “What’s going on?”

Shane said to me, “Well, according to them, Diane has disappeared. She was on–site where we found you, but she hasn’t been seen since.”

I couldn’t believe it. Did something happen to her?

Josh, however, said to me, “Sweets, that’s just talk that the CIA has Diane hidden from me for fear of what I will do the second I get my hands on her.” Then he said, and I swear I literally shivered, “Don’t worry. They can’t hide her for long.”

That night, as we laid on the bed in our bedroom, I tried to talk to him about it, but he wouldn’t talk to me.

He would just say, “I warned her, baby…”

I was about to protest and mention Jacks, but something on the news caught my eye. It was Noah’s father. I turned up the television and heard Mr. Baxter tell the world that his son was missing and was seeking help from the public on locating is son. They had a five hundred thousand dollar award out for any information that would lead to his whereabouts….

I cut my eyes at my husband, and he gave me a blank stare. “What?”

I smacked his arm. “You know what. You promised you wouldn’t kill Noah.”