My Most Precious One(104)

“No and I’m fine with that.” I lied.

“Liar!” She crossed her arms and waited.

“I don’t understand. I know you maybe better than I know my own daughter. You expected him to follow you here and grovel at your feet. But he didn’t, did he? So you’re left shell-shocked wondering what to do now.” She accused me.

The very words she spoke tugged at the knots that I had created around my heart.

“Fuck off Kaci! I didn’t ask you to analysis me.” I growled.

“No you didn’t but you asked me to be your friend and this is what I do. I point out the obvious and throw it back into your face. Fine what he did was wrong.” She began but I glared at her statement.

“Fine what he did was really wrong. But it wasn’t out of nastiness it was out of love. He didn’t want to see you hurt by this.” She said earnestly.

“Do you have any idea how humiliating it was when I read that letter? Have you any clue how it felt walking back into the museum knowing it wasn’t real. That everyone in there may have known about this? This was a dream I had since I was little and he handed it to me on a silver platter like I was some spoiled child. I had the right to choice if I wanted his help. I had the right to know the truth about me.” The words came out strained as I spoke to her. I began to cry. One by one my tears fell off my chin onto my jeans.

Kaci sat still watching me, her eyes welling up listening to my fears.

“What else has he done? What else would he do? I want to be his equal instead I was a toy he played with. He toyed with my emotions and with my life.” I closed my eyes feeling the hot searing sting on my heart.

“Yes Kaci I expected him to find me. Yes I expected him to grovel at my feet but he didn’t. He never came and he never will. To him what I did by walking away was a betrayal of the trust that we had promised each other. But in my mind he was the one who betrayed me first.” I seethed.

“I understand.” She quickly wiped away her tears and sniffled a little she then reached for me and wiped what tears had remained on my face.

“What is it you want me to say? That I don’t love him anymore, that I don’t lie awake almost every night dreaming about him. He’s part of me Kaci he had woven himself into the fabric of my life and there is no way I will ever be rid of him. But I can’t just walk back into what was our life knowing what I know now.”

Kaci had ended our conversion, she was worried that I wasn’t dealing with it and that I was doing the classic Alexia move which was hide it under the rug till it blew up on me. Maybe she was right. I was living on autopilot for what seemed like months. And it didn’t help that our one year anniversary was coming up. We had planned to get married on the day we started dating I guess that wasn’t going to happen.

Thank god for Maria and her awesome connections. She was able to find me a condo that needed a lease ASAP. It was on the top floor with a small private balcony but not much else. It was one bedroom and a complete open concept kitchen living room space. I honestly didn’t care much since living at home wasn’t an option anymore.

“What do you mean you found a place to live?” My mother began grilling into me.

“Well I found somewhere where I could live, which is not here.” I said slowly trying desperately to get all my things together and shove them in Roxi’s car.

“Here is your home and here is where you will live until you get married.” She began shouting.

“Why don’t you just kill me now?” I picked up a pen from the table and handed it to Roxi who was half laughing. She had her own Greek mother to deal with.

“Roxi was a good girl she got married and then she left home.” She continued her tirade.

“Yeah Lexi I was such a good girl.” She tried hard to stifle a laugh.

We both knew full well how batshit crazy Roxi was as a teen. The girl would tell her mother that she would be at a slumber party while she was in New York clubbing at sixteen.

“Ok ma I love you but I have to go. Thank you for everything.” I smiled and pushed Roxi out of the kitchen towards the doorway.

My father had the rest of my stuff and was waiting for us outside so we can all caravan it to my new place.

“Yeah, sure.” My mother said to me as I left.

“So your mother took it well?” My father laughed at me.

“Very.” I answered with much fake enthusiasm.

“I’ll follow you and Roxi ok?” He unlocked his Mercedes. It was normal all older Greek men drove one; they made their money and wanted a toy to spend it on, which was always a Mercedes.

After an hour in the famous Montréal traffic we finally reached my new home in the heart of the old port.