Loving War(69)

I grin and laugh while the tears slip out. I’m not crying sad tears, but he doesn’t understand that. I really don’t think I’ve ever cried happy tears before.

“Nothing.” My voice is shaky, and I sniffle while he wipes a tear away from my face.

“You want to start on this or do some celebrating first? This is your night.”

I grab his neck to jerk him down, and the kiss I give him is searing. He grips me to him tightly when he feels my desperation to kiss him as hard as I can.

“Take me to bed first. Before I say something stupid,” I murmur against his lips.



***

TRIA



Well, after trying to destroy the hotel room like horny teenagers or wild rockstars all night, we manage to get everything sorted out, and I have my first, second, and third picks lined up for every position.

Kode is sleeping peacefully after being thoroughly rewarded for all of his hard work. It’s almost noon, but he deserves the rest. Especially since I’ll be keeping him up tonight again.

I grin when I see his arm reaching out, searching for me even as he sleeps. My chest swells with emotion when he mutters my name and hugs a pillow to him, substituting it for me.

Grinning, I pull his phone from the counter, curious as to what he calls me while I go to the abandoned room service and finally sit down to finish that piece of celebratory chocolate cake. My ass will need to be in the gym next week to make up for all the food splurges I’ve had this weekend.

His new phone just got to us in time for our flight the other day. Apparently his tech guy had to swap over all his old information. And his phone is not liking me.

After finally figuring it out somewhat, I check to ensure it is on vibrate, and I send him a text to see what pops up. I hold back a laugh when I see my naked selfie picture, but my heart thumps in my chest when I see my name—My Sexy Girl.

It’s not as creative as the names he gives himself in my phone, but it’s a claiming, warming, and endearing name that has me tearing up again. But then a new message comes through, and that brief moment of triumph is obliterated into ashes as cold heat pumps through my veins.



My Perfect Girl: When are you coming back? I thought we’d get together. Just the two of us. It’s been a while, and I miss my best fri...



That’s all the preview shows, and I don’t want to actually read the whole message. Kode would know I snooped, and this was an accident. A terrible, sickening, jarring accident that I wish had never happened.

If I didn’t already know who it was, the picture would tell it all. I’ve seen his phone numerous times, but I’ve never seen a text or call from her. Dane usually messages him, even though Rain texts the others a lot. I suppose Dane has the same chip on his shoulder about them as I do.

At least now I know why.

Her picture isn’t a scandalous mirror selfie of her lying on a bed, looking desperate to tempt him. She’s staring innocently over her shoulder—at him most likely—and grinning as her blond hair bounces under the sun.

Her name and image make her seem wholesome—someone that a man would dedicate his life to. My name and my image sound temporary and scandalous—like I’m the well-kept dirty secret.

Perfect? His perfect girl?

I can’t do this to myself. He’s here with me, and he has gone out of his way to make this weekend extraordinary. If I were temporary, he wouldn’t have invested in my company. He wouldn’t have pulled out all the stops to make this all work for me.

She might have been his perfect idea of a woman at one time, but I’m the one he’s with now. Even if I’m merely a substitute for the girl he can’t have.

I wish I had never been curious about the special pet name he gave me in his phone. Leave it to me to ruin a dream.

Kode stirs, mumbling my name again, but this time my heart doesn’t clench uncontrollably.

“You’re up too early,” he says, alert but keeping his eyes closed.

Trying to swallow down the painful knot in my throat, I slowly move back toward the bed, my feet feeling weighted to the ground. Without releasing the sigh I want to, I slide in next to him and let him wrap his arms around me until I’m pulled flush against his hard body.

“Much better,” he mumbles into my hair, smiling as he kisses my forehead. “What’re you doing up?”

Seeing my sister’s endearing term on your phone.

“I had some messages to check. It’s almost noon.”

He groans while throwing a leg over me, cradling me to him tighter in a hold that has some of my tension easing. He wouldn’t be holding me like this if he didn’t want me. Just me.

Right?

Stupid, immature insecurities. I have to let it go.