Beneath This Man (This Man Trilogy)(86)

What on earth am I doing in hospital? I try to sit up, but I’m met with the full force of Jesse pressing down on me. ‘I need the toilet.’ I grumble, trying to fight him off. I slap his persistent hands away and scramble into a sitting position, prompting my hands to fly up and grasp my head when the full force of gravity crashes in around my brain. Holy shit! This really is the worse hangover ever. I groan and cross my legs in front of me, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

‘I’ll take her.’ I hear Kate volunteer. ‘Ava, come on.’

‘No fucking way!’

I roll my eyes at the sound of the unreasonable voice I love and wait for Kate to retaliate, but nothing follows. ‘I’m fine.’ I snap irritably. I can go to the bloody toilet on my own.

I shift myself to the side of the bed and lower my feet to the floor. My heels are gone.

‘I don’t think so, lady.’ He sweeps me up from the side of the bed. ‘Whatever happened to en-suites?’ he mutters as he carries me out of the room and into the corridor. The lights are brighter out here. I shade my eyes from the invasion.

‘Ah! She’s come round.’

‘I’m taking her to the bathroom.’ Jesse barks, continuing his long strides to the nearest toilet.

‘Sir, please, we need a urine sample.’

Jesse pauses momentarily, before carrying on his way. I’m placed on my feet and held up while I watch Jesse use his free hand to cake some tissue in anti-bacterial spray and wipe the toilet seat, muttering insults about the NHS and shit cleaners. My dress is pulled up, my knickers down and I’m lowered onto the toilet with a cardboard bowl held under me.

I have no shyness or inhibitions. I release the muscles around my bladder and sigh in relief as the pressure drains. I can’t believe I’m sat on his arm while he holds a pee-pot under me.

‘No stage fright then?’ he asks softly.

I open my eyes and find him crouched in front of me, his spare palm holding the top of my thigh. His face looks distressed and tired. ‘You’ve fucked me up the arse. I’m coping.’

‘Ava, will you watch your fucking mouth?’ he sighs, but there’s relief in his voice.

I’m half tempted to tell him to fetch the anti-bacterial solution and spray it in my mouth, but I’m too busy wracking my brain trying to figure out how I ended up in hospital. The last thing I remember is seeing Jesse stood in the doorway looking murderous. I remember being both concerned by his expression as he ran towards me and pissed off that he couldn’t leave me in peace for one evening.

I get some crispy, stiff toilet paper and sort myself out. ‘I’m done. Did I pee on you?’ I ask with little concern as I make to stand, giving Jesse just enough time to remove the cardboard bowl before I fall back down onto the seat.

He shoves the bowl on the back of the toilet. ‘No, give me your hands.’

I hold them out and feel Jesse’s hands smother mine, rubbing and working in the anti-bacterial spray. He holds me up and pulls my knickers back up and my dress down, before lifting me into his arms and taking me back to the hospital bed.

‘It’s on the back of the toilet.’ he snaps shortly as we pass the nurses’ station. I reluctantly release him as he lowers me onto the hard, crumply bed.

‘Ava, what happened?’ Kate’s voice is laced with complete concern, a rare reaction from her.

‘I don’t know.’ I reply, resting my back against the headboard. I feel incredibly sleepy again.

‘I do!’ Jesse exclaims, looking at me accusingly.

I use all of my depleted energy to throw him a filthy look. ‘I wasn’t drunk!’

‘You pass out from being sober often, do you?’ he yells.

It makes me wince, piercing at my tender ears. He has the decency to look remorseful when I re-open my eyes.

‘Don’t shout at her!’ Kate defends me. I’m grateful. He throws her a look, stuffs his hands in his jean pockets and starts pacing up and down the room. Sam moves out of his way. He really is quiet for Sam. ‘She had a few glasses of wine. She’s got through two bottles before and not passed out.’ Kate sits next to me and rubs my arm. ‘Did you eat?’

I cast my mind back. ‘Yes.’ I answer. Jesse fed me all day, between shipping clothes up the stairs and getting his fix of me.

Jesse stops with the pacing, his lip getting a punishing chomp from his teeth. ‘Are you pregnant?’ he asks, watching me carefully and returning to the chomping.

What?

‘No!’ I blurt, shocked at his forwardness, but then I freeze.

Oh good God!

My pills. I’ve not replaced my pills! I suddenly feel faint again. I’m hot too. Oh, what a stupid woman I am. I’ve been having sex like a rabbit and with no protection. How did I let that slip? I glance at Jesse and pull my best unaffected face.

He narrows his eyes on me. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes!’ I wince at my own shrill voice, tensing my arm to prevent my natural reflex from giving me away. Jesse and everyone else in this room will assume my tone is defensive. It’s not - it’s completely freaked.

‘I’m just asking.’ He resumes pacing.

‘What do you remember?’ Kate asks, continuing to stroke my arm.

I reflect on the evening, but I’m struggling to remember anything now. All I can think of is how many pills I’ve missed and what the chances are of me being pregnant. I battle to fight off the worry and try to remember something, anything of last night. I remember Matt, but I won’t be mentioning him. Then I remember the swollen, slicked, ponytailed guy, but I won’t be mentioning him either. I shrug. There isn’t a lot I can say without sending Jesse into neurotic orbit. Oh God, please don’t say I’m pregnant.

‘Hey, chick,’ I feel Sam take my other hand and start circling his thumb in his palm. ‘Think hard, yeah?’

‘I don’t remember.’ I say clearly and concisely, still resisting the temptation to play with my hair. ‘Why is everyone making such a bloody fuss?’ I throw my head back on the pillow again and regret it immediately. I feel like I have iron ball bearings rattling around in there.

I watch as Jesse stalks over to Sam’s side of the bed and growls at him, before shoving him out the way and grabbing my hand. He narrows very angry pools of pissed off on me. ‘Ava, it is four o’clock in the fucking morning!’ He closes his eyes to regain his composure – not that he ever had it. ‘You’ve been out cold for nearly seven hours, so don’t you dare tell me not to make a fucking fuss!’

Seven hours? Shit! I’ve fainted a few times in the past, but only for a few minutes at a time. Seven hours is like a full night’s sleep. Every head in the room turns to the door when a nurse enters. Seven hours?

She gives a very disapproving look. ‘It’s one visitor in the room. You need to leave.’

I glance at Kate, who glances to Jesse, who completely ignores her. It’s obvious he isn’t going anywhere. I give Kate an apologetic look on behalf of Mr Challenging, and she shakes her head in understanding with a small smile.

‘We’ll go and get something to eat.’ She looks at Sam and he nods his agreement at her suggestion. I feel terrible. Have they been here all night because I’ve had a funny turn?

The nurse sees Kate and Sam out and then returns to the bed to perform her observations. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’

‘Please.’ I say gratefully. I’m gagging. She looks at Jesse and he shakes his head. He looks like he could do with a brandy. He rests his elbows on the side of the bed and wraps both of his hands around my one, dropping his forehead to the tangled mess of fingers.

I say nothing. I’ve come over all sleepy again, and I haven’t the energy to deal with a Jesse inquisition. I rest my head back and doze off. I could be pregnant and this is really shitty news. He’s going to go absolutely spare.



‘I was told you were awake.’

I open my eyes and find a white cloaked Indian man standing over the bed. ‘Hi,’ I croak.

‘I’m Doctor Manvi. How do you feel, Ava?’ He speaks perfect English, with no hint of an accent.

‘Fine,’ I sigh wearily. ‘My head is banging, but other than that, I’m fine.’ I hear Jesse growl beside me, and I look at him in exasperation. I just want to go home.

‘I’m glad.’ Doctor Manvi shines a light in both of my eyes and pops the pencil like contraption back in his top pocket. ‘Ava, what do you remember about last night?’

If anyone else asks me that bloody question! ‘Not a lot.’ I feel Jesse’s hand lock harder around mine and I turn my head towards him, finding the anger still evident. I feel God awful. I don’t need this.

Doctor Manvi glances at Jesse. ‘You are?’

‘Husband.’ he states sharply, without taking his eyes from mine.

My eyes widen, but he’s completely impassive, completely unruffled by my obvious silent challenge. He forgot the ‘to be’ part.

‘Oh?’ The Doctor flicks through my papers. ‘It’s says Miss O’Shea.’

‘We get married next month.’ His eyes drill into mine, daring me to challenge him. I don’t have the energy. I flop my head back gingerly on the bed.