"I've told you that I was in love with Alaine, yet after the accident I felt differently, it was as if something had snapped. I tried to overcome the feeling-the disinclination for her visits-I felt detached and our relationship seemed unreal. I imagined it was just due to the accident and that later I should feel differently..." He broke off and twisting on his side, leaned on his uninjured arm; the sudden silence between them was pregnant with meaning, until the shrill call of a bird startled him again to speech. "Coming down here-when I sat beside Alaine in the car-I began to recall things."
"You imagined that all was over between you and Miss Jason? The query was forced from Felicity, almost against her better judgment.
"Yes-how did you guess?" Without awaiting an answer he went on more quickly and with added confidence "It was all too vivid to be a mere figment of the imagination every detail of that night came back with startling clarity-even the words she spoke. Alaine admitted, that although she was fond of me, her work-success and excitement meant more to her-she confessed that she would find my sort of life unbearable and that our engagement was a mistake." As Felicity made to speak he interrupted. "Now perhaps you will understand more readily my state of mind since yesterday ... perhaps more readily excuse my lack of civility."
"It was all true-Alaine's ring was in your overcoat pocket." Felicity was amazed at the ease with which she spoke, indifferent to the anger her confession might evoke; the relief of knowing that it lay within her power to clear his mind of any lingering doubt made all else seem unimportant. "Alaine asked me to return it to her, she told me that finding it there might distress you. I agreed because I believed that to be true."
"You found it there-you gave it back-" He echoed her words stupidly as if trying to absorb their true significance, then gripping her shoulder, he twisted her round until she faced him, and his eyes stared at her searchingly.
"It was unpardonable of me to interfere, I, realize now I can only repeat that I believed I was acting for the best." Her voice was steady but beneath her appearance of calm a rising sense of fear assailed her. Although his hand dropped from her shoulder, she could still feel the pain where his fingers had gripped, and she was glad of the trifling discomfort, at least it gave her a feeling of reality.
"Now I understand-everything." The note of utter weariness in his voice stabbed at Felicity's heart and the green vista around her was suddenly dimmed by the unshed tears which misted her eyes. With slow movements he dragged himself to his feet, then held out a hand to assist his companion. "We'd better be getting back."
As Felicity stood by his side he made to release her, but with an impulse she was quite incapable of resisting, she gripped his hand firmly between both her own, holding desperately as a drowning man might ding to a straw. "Please-please tell me-what does this all mean, what have I done?"
He seemed inclined for a moment to pull himself free, then perhaps unable to resist the appeal of her whole attitude, he spoke. "What you have done-well-" He shrugged his shoulders. "That is difficult to say-"
"But you need not go through with this engagement! Now you know the truth-Alaine wouldn't expect you to-" Felicity exclaimed, lifting her eyes anxiously to his face seeking agreement.
"A few days ago Alaine and I settled the date of our wedding-a month from today. My word is pledged to Alaine, she wears my ring-need I say more?"
There was finality in his tone and bearing which brooked no argument. Felicity's fingers automatically relaxed their grip on his hand and following his lead she walked slowly over to where the horses were tethered. As he held her horse's head for her to mount, some inner urge compelled her to seek further enlightment. "You believe it right to go on-you believe that to be the chivalrous thing to do?"
"I don't really know," he admitted slowly. "It may not seem true to character-that is as you and your fellow nurses have summed me up-but Alaine had asked me to forget that unfortunate interlude then I should most certainly have agreed, so the end result would have been precisely the same." He paused and as he continued there was a puzzling significance to his words. "Of course everything might have been different if during these past weeks I had known myself to be free-well, then it might have been too late for reconciliations."
"I don't understand your reasoning," Felicity responded in bewilderment. "Too late-why too late?"
When he replied, the lines of his face had become set and grim. "Disregard my words-they were meaningless." He dropped the rein he still held and laid his hand over hers where it rested on the saddle. "Your air of disbelief has told me that perhaps, after all, things are better as they are-" He broke off abruptly, then continued. "There is, however, one thing I'd better tell you now, while I'm in chastened mood." His expression softened and his fingers tightened over hers. "I want to thank you for all you've done for me during the past weeks, I realize how awkward and ungrateful I have appeared at times but I haven't meant it, you've been patient-and more helpful than I can say, I owe you more than ordinary words can express." His formal thanks warmed Felicity's heart, but it was the contact of his hand on hers which sent a quiver of excitement through every nerve of her body. Once again silence dropped as a barrier between them, the birds seemed to have stayed their song and the breeze no longer stirred the grass or trees. Once again Felicity experienced that sensation of aloneness, just she and Guy isolated on the very edge of the world.
"May I?-just a token of-gratitude."
Before Felicity had grasped the meaning of his request, Guy's lips had brushed her forehead with a soft kiss, it might have been the brush of a butterfly's wing or the wind lifting a wisp of her hair but with that fleeting touch he awoke within her some chord she had long believed mute. "We'd better be getting back."
His prosaic words brought Felicity back to earth, she felt too choked to speak but turned obediently to mount. The return ride was silent, the hoof beats were hard as if the very turf had lost its buoyant spring, the sky had clouded over and a drop of rain splashed against Felicity's cheek-was it rain, or was it a tear? That was something she hardly knew.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
To Felicity, who was longing for the solitude of her own room, lunch that day seemed an endless ritual. Colonel Brenton, adhering to the habit of years, believed a meal to be both a leisurely repast and a social occasion; he was certainly a past master in the matter of conversation and the excellently cooked courses which were placed before them fully deserved both time and appreciation.
It was perhaps unfortunate that just as Felicity had finished her coffee and was about to make her excuses the Colonel should have made the intriguing discovery that not only had he known her father, Sir Frampton Dene, but had in fact spent many a holiday with him indulging their mutual love of fishing. Soon after their marriages they had lost touch with one another, but Colonel Brenton, delighted with his discovery, plied Felicity with questions regarding her home in Somerset and the years spent there prior to her father's death.
"If I remember rightly, Frampton had two children-a boy, wasn't there?"
"Yes," Felicity agreed. "My brother Antony, he left England after Daddy died, he went out to America-neither of us got on with our stepfather, that's why I left home too."
"I see-well, well." The old man chuckled with obvious delight. "I was glad to meet you before, my dear, I am even happier to welcome you now-Frampton's daughter, I can hardly believe it!"
Alaine, who had been listening to the conversation with ill-concealed surprise could no longer restrain her curiosity. "You aren't a real nurse at all then-I mean-well, how can you be?"
"Of course I'm a nurse!" Felicity laughed. "I ought to be, the way I worked for it, I've enjoyed it too, and I wouldn't change my job with anyone."
"But you don't need to work like that-I mean with a titled father and all that-well, it seems silly to me." Alaine was obviously incredulous.
In spite of the anxiety which had nagged at her all through lunch Felicity could not fail to be amused at Alaine's patent air of disbelief. "But don't you see I wanted independence, my small allowance wouldn't keep me, so when I decided to leave home, I had to earn my own living. Having a title doesn't mean anything, my brother inherited that-it's all he did inherit, so he has had to fight his own way too." She turned to the Colonel. "Tony has a fruit farm in California, it was an uphill job but he has made a very good thing of it; he is due back in England any time now, the arrangement is that I should return and share his home."